Tourniquet
by LookOutShe'sGotAPen
Summary: For what I have done there can be no forgiveness. But yet I still strive to earn the forgiveness of others- maybe by joining the Elrics in their quest for the Stone I will finally find mercy and forgiveness in the one place I never looked... myself. EdxOC
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

*runs around screaming* I finally did it! LOSGAP got the courage to post the first chapter of the new FMA fic- YAY! *dances*

Um, yeah. READ AND REVIEW!

LOSGAP =D

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I look up when I hear the tea kettle shrieking for attention and blink, realizing I forgot about it completely.

I trot over and remove it from the stove, setting about the task of making myself my evening tea. As I sit down in front of the fireplace and take a sip of the hot tea I look out the window at the rain beating on the glass and raise my head when I think I hear voices.

_Well of course you hear voices- you're right on the outskirts of town- it'd be strange if you didn't hear voices. _I think, though I can't shake the feeling something was wrong.

I shake my head, switching my gaze to the little fire I have going, crackling away quietly, as though it too is subdued by the rain.

I keep glancing towards the window though, a sixth sense tugging at me, telling me to go see what's going on. Finally, with a resigned sigh I set down my mug and make my way to the window, peering through the rain to see if I can see what's going on.

_Damn. It's them. _I think in annoyance when I see the black cloaks, the silver skull barely visible on their backs. _Those idiots are always looking for some poor soul to rob. Hope no one gets hurt tonight. _I thought worriedly as I watch them vanish into the night, laughing among themselves. My brow furrows at their laughter- when the Black Ops laugh, it's never a good sign for anyone in the vicinity.

Figuring it'd be safer to lock up for the night and just go to bed, I bolt the door and lock the window tightly, grabbing my blanket and curling up on the couch, listening to the rain and watching the fire die down.

My eyes drift shut, lulled by the drum of the rain's fingers on the tin roof of my small home, whispering promises of re-growth and of fresh starts when the storm clears.

I'm almost asleep when I hear the flurry of knocking at the door and groan quietly. _I really hate patients coming this late at night. If it's just another splinter I'm not going to be gentle. _I roll my eyes, throwing the blanket around my shoulders as I make my way to the door.

"What is it?" I mutter sleepily, rubbing one eye as I open the door. The rain slaps at my face eagerly, an overexcited large dog as the wind pulls and pushes me around while I try to keep my feet firmly on the ground as I peer irritably into the rain.

Then I realize it isn't the wind tugging at me- it's hands, yanking me out of the house and pushing me into the mud.

"Come on, she's gotta have something in there." Someone whispers and I look up at the flash of silver and black. I open my mouth to spit curses at them but a boot lands on the back of my head, smashing my face into the mud.

"Just keep quiet and we won't have to hurt you." One deep voice laughs and my hand flashes out, snatching his ankle and twisting it, pulling it back and throwing him forward, tossing him into the wall.

"Why you little…" I barely manage to clamber to my feet when a blow lands on my cheek and I turn my head with it, softening the punch a bit as I steady myself in the mud, my hands into fists as I stare up at the hooded figures.

"Get out of here." I warn them. "I don't want to have to hurt you." They laugh and someone shoves me from behind, and I'm back in the mud. "Like we're scared of you." One snickers and I growl, trying to get up to my feet again.

"Hey!" We all look up in surprise when someone shouts from the road. I can barely see in the rain, but it looks like a little boy.

"Leave her alone." He growls, coming closer and I realize for the first time he has a tall companion with him, in a suit of armor.

_Well, if that isn't the strangest thing I've ever seen. _I thought. _But he doesn't look like a little boy now that I can see his face- just a short man. A very short man. _

"Stay out of this." The man with a boot on my back says. "Or what?" The blonde boy taunts. The boot lifts and he takes off towards the boy, pulling a knife from his belt.

There's a flash of light as the boy claps his hands together, ripping off his red cloak to reveal an auto mail arm turned into a sword.

_He's the Full Metal Alchemist! _I realize in shock. _And that must be his brother, Alphonse. _I shake my head, rising from the mud as I run into my house to make sure those idiots haven't touched anything dangerous, knowing the Elric brothers will keep those thugs from coming inside.

I stare around my ruined living room, my medical equipment scattered everywhere, and I realize every medicine bottle and bag is gone.

_Druggies, huh? _I think, kneeling to pick up an empty bottle. I turn my head towards the outdoors when I remember the fight and I peek out cautiously and stare out into the rain, realizing the Black Ops are gone.

"Wow." I say in surprise. "That was fast." I trot out into the storm towards the Elric brothers. "Thank you." I say, bowing once. "That was amazing- if you guys hadn't shown up I don't know what would have happened." I say and Edward looks up. For the first time I realize his auto mail hand is gripping his left arm, just above the wrist. "No problem." He says between gritted teeth. "Broken wrist?" I guess, motioning for them to come inside.

"I think." Edward says, following just behind. He lets out a low whistle when he sees the destruction inside. "I'll have this cleaned up in no time." I wave a hand. "Now come here and let me have a look at that." I say, sitting down on the couch and patting the seat beside me.

"And Alphonse, you may want to dry yourself off with this." I say, tossing him a towel. "Otherwise you'll rust." I say and he blinks at me in surprise. "Thank you." He says, sitting down on a chair in the corner.

"Those idiots are pretty good fighters, so I'm not surprised you hurt yourself." I say, examining his wrist carefully. "Yeah." Edward laughs. "By the way, how'd you know his name is Alphonse?" He looks at me curiously and I look up, impressed he isn't howling with pain or thrashing around like most of the sissies in this town.

"You two are kind of easy to recognize, Edward Elric." I wink. "Just call me Ed." Ed says and his eyebrows raise a bit when I pull a piece of chalk from my pocket. "What are you going to do with that?" Ed asks, a bit nervous as I lay his left arm out on the table. "You'll see." I carefully outline a transmutation circle, gently placing his wrist in the center.

"You're an alchemist?" Ed asks, obviously surprised as I place my hands on the edge of the circle. "I may not be a fancy State Alchemist like you, but I know my trade pretty well." I reply as the circle begins to glow.

"I specialize in medical alchemy." I reply, watching him flex his now fully healed wrist, his eyebrows raised with surprise. "You certainly work wonders." He laughs. "Thanks- and aren't you a bit young to be a doctor?" He asks.

"Aren't you a bit short to be a state alchemist?" I challenge and his eye twitches. I laugh as Al restrains a suddenly very angry Edward from coming after me. "Calm down shortie- I still need to give you a shot, just let me find my spare bottles…" I pull the key out of my pocket and open up the box I have sitting on my mantle, pulling out a bottle and needle, filling up the syringe quickly.

"STOP! I DON'T NEED A SHOT!" Edward shrieks as I approach, Al nearly having to sit on him to keep him in place. "Let me go Al! How could you betray your own brother?!" Ed cries, squirming in his brother's hold. "I'll turn you all into fish!" I sigh quietly, my previous admirations of his maturity and bravery flying out the window.

"Don't make me sit on you." I warn him, pinning his arm down to the table. I put my face close to his, batting my eyes. "Now, be a brave man and take your shot." I say, slipping the needle in his arm while he stares up at me, transfixed.

"All done." I say, breaking the spell I've put him in as I pull the needle back out, tossing the used needle into the trash.

"You're good." Al says, impressed and I laugh. "Just a trick I picked up for squirming kids." I say, reaching into the box and pulling out a sucker. "This works pretty well too." I wink.

I sit down next to Ed eating his candy and can't help but think that for all the things he's accomplished, he's still just a kid.

_A lot of people could say that about me though. _I think. _I'm only sixteen, and yet I'm a fairly accomplished medical alchemist. _

"So," I say, leaning back in my chair and playing with a strand of light brown hair. "I heard you guys are looking for the Philosopher's Stone."

Ed looks up, his half-finished sucker hanging out of his mouth. "Yeah. We are." He replies, focusing his attention on his candy.

"I can see why." I reply, nodding to his arm and his leg. He glances down at his leg and back to me, a questioning look in his eyes. "I'm a doctor Ed- I should be able to tell the difference between human flesh and metal." I say dryly. "Just like I know Al's not a guy in a suit of armor- you attached his soul to it." I say. "Wonderful job by the way- I've never heard of a successful one before, let alone seen one." I look at Al, trying to disguise the awe in my voice.

"We both just want to get back to our old selves." Ed says quietly, not acknowledging my praise. "I understand." I reply softly.

_More then you can imagine._

"So, what brings you to these parts?" I ask curiously, changing the subject quickly, leaning back on the couch. "I'm guessing you're not sight seeing." I add. "We were actually sent here with orders to bring someone back with us- would you happen to know a…" He rummages through his pocket and pulls out a very soggy piece of paper. "…Memarie Wilkins?"

I drop the chalk, staring at him in terror. "M-Memarie?" My voice shakes and I clear it, shaking my head. "She died. A long time ago." I say, staring into the glowing embers of the fireplace.

"You sure?" Ed asks me and I nod. "Yeah, tragic accident. Eaten by a bear." I say, turning to look at him but finding myself face to face with a picture of myself.

"Really? Because you look very well for a dead woman, Miss Memarie Wilkins." Ed smirks and I stand up, glowering at him.

"Why the hell do they want me?" I demand, knowing exactly why but holding my breath that maybe they want me for another reason.

"Didn't tell us- something about your alchemy." Ed shrugs and I blink, a glimmer of hope sparking deep within that maybe they won't come after me for that night.

_I've already been punished enough. _

"It'd probably be best if you just came with us." Ed says and I shake my head, clearing the shadows from my mind. "Otherwise they'll just drag you in by force." He stretches and yawns and I raise an eyebrow. "For a military dog you don't have much stamina- there's a bedroom upstairs to the left, it's got a bunk-bed in there." I say, nodding to the stairs.

"Thank you." Alphonse stands up and nods to me and I smile faintly, bowing once. "What's with the bowing thing anyway?" Ed asks, putting one hand on his hip as he leans his weight onto his metal leg. "Just something my family has always done- it's polite for us." I shrug. "…ok. Sure. Um, good night." Ed lifts a hand in a wave as he makes his way upstairs, Al just behind him.

"Night." I say into the darkness.

_Such strange boys. _I think, shaking my head in amusement as I sit back down on the couch. My brow furrows when I remember that the State has summoned me- what on Earth could they want from me?

_Stop lying to yourself- you know exactly what they want. _I remind myself. _And I have the bad feeling they're going to take it from me, whether I like it or not. _

I sigh as I flop down onto the couch, throwing an arm over my eyes and closing them, trying to blot out the flashes of memory from so long ago.

_I like those Elric boys though- for military dogs, they're not half bad. That Edward… he's got ghosts in his eyes. I get the feeling we've seen the same things. _

_I hope neither of us has to see those things again Ed. _

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**Author's Note:**

Gah *eats chapter* I hate writing first chapters for animes I haven't covered before- makes me nervous and they usually come out awkward and kind of choppy- not to mention the characters are usually a bit OOC.

So I won't be offended if you think it was a bit unlike me- for those of you reading Starting Over, I apologize for my lack of humor in this chapter- I promise there will be more along the way! And I usually hit my stride with stories pretty early, so expect it to get a lot better within the next 2-3 chapters.

I may be leaving some important things out of the story from the anime by the way- I'm only about 16 episodes in, so I'm not completely comfortable with their personalities yet but I still love them all to death (: (Especially Ed *squee* And Mustang. He is my snuggliepoo.)

Erm…. *cough**cough*

ANYWAY…

I apologize for the senseless rambling, any OOCness and weird writing moments you may have experienced. Please do not hurt me.

Please review! They make me happier then COOKIES! (And that's saying something o.O)

LOSGAP =D

5


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

I know, it's terrible of me to write an ff on FMA when I'm only 21 episodes in. But I'm horribly addicted and desperate to write about it. That will explain anything that won't make sense because of something that happened later in the series. So I apologize for any potential OOCness

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Full Metal Alchemist! I only own my dear little Memarie Wilkins, because she rox my sox (:

And yes, I curse in this story- I know those who read Starting Over will be surprised that I am capable of cursing, but if you've read Shinsei Eiki (a Fruits Basket fanfic) by me then you know I am quite fluent in curse words when the story needs characters who don't say "dang" and "flipping."

LOSGAP =D

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I don't complain about leaving so early the next morning because I'm eager to get out of here- I've been meaning to leave this town for a long time, it was about time someone dragged me out of here.

The early morning dew sparkles like diamonds scattered over the grass on our path and I breathe the misty morning air in deeply, enjoying the faint sunlight filtering through the leaves above. I look up at the pale blue of dawn and smile to myself, wondering how long it has been since I've been out for a walk.

"So, do you have any idea why they want you?" Ed finally asks and I look over at him in surprise. He's been silent for the beginning of our walk, as though lost in though- Al doesn't say much either, but he looks like he wants too- probably a bit shy.

"None." The lie slips from my tongue with ease and Ed shrugs, accepting it without question. I hate how effortlessly I lied to him, but I know I can never tell him the truth.

_You'd hate me too. _

I watch him walk out of the corner of my eye, a bit amused I'm a good foot taller then him. But his eyes are what captivate me- eyes with shadows lurking in their golden depths, but somehow they still seem to look eagerly ahead. They are so unlike mine- as gray as storm clouds and equally as dark and heavy, never quite able to smile anymore.

I stare ahead on the path ahead, wondering what we'll find at Central. I am curious about who specifically summoned me, but I don't ask. If Ed told me a specific name I would recognize it- and I know Ed and Al would ask questions about my knowledge of military personnel.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Ed questions and I blink, shaking my head. "Nah. Mostly a thinker." I reply, tapping the side of my head. "Lot of things going on up in here."

"I bet, since you're a doctor and all." Al comments and I grin sheepishly. "Well, I don't have a degree or anything like that." I laugh. "I learned all I know from my mom." I say, looking up at the cloud rolling past.

"Your mom's a doctor?" Al asks and I smile sadly. "Was. She died years ago." I reply quietly. Al and Ed don't respond to that- judging by the way Ed's darken, I'm guessing he's lost a parent too.

"Did you lose your mom too?" I ask him softly and he nods tightly, not meeting my eyes as he looks straight ahead, his entire body tense like a cornered animal.

"He doesn't like to talk about it." Al explains and I nod. "I don't like talking about my family either." I reply, crossing my arms. Neither of them say another a word, but I can't keep my eyes off of Ed- he has a pained, tight expression, as though he feels… guilty.

_Somehow Ed, I get the feeling you've seen even worse things then I have._

OOO

"…we're riding on a train…"

"Well, yeah. What'd you think we were going to do, fly there?"

"No…" I stare up at the very large train and blink slowly. I've never even seen one before. "What? Scared of trains?" Ed asks in amusement and I shake my head firmly. "I'm not scared of anything." I snort, jumping onto the train.

"Aw come on- everyone's scared of something." Ed presses, and I get the feeling he's one to pry. I glare at him as I plop down in a seat. "I'm not."

"Ed's terrified of needles, as you saw last night." Al pipes up helpfully and Ed twitches. I watch the ensuing fight in silence, glad the conversation has taken a turn.

I jump in my chair and squeak quietly when the train blows its whistle, taking off and I grip the table in front of me tightly, my eyes widening.

"I knew you were scared of trains!" Ed crows triumphantly and I give him a look that could peel paint off walls.

While Ed cowers next to the window Al turns to me. "It's OK to be scared of things. I'm scared of a lot of things, it's no big deal." Al says comfortingly and I smile a ghost, blinking up at him. "Thanks Al." I say, privately thinking that even though I wasn't really scared of trains I appreciated his effort.

"How long are we going to be on here?" I ask curiously, watching the world flash by the window in slight awe- I've never gone so fast before. I was starting to feel like a country hick or something, the way everything was amazing me around here.

"Don't know for sure- probably get there this evening." Ed shrugs and I sigh, crossing my arms on the table and resting my head on them, closing my eyes.

"Wake me up when we get there."

OOO

"Memarie!"

I jump awake, the scream dieing in my throat as I stare wide-eyed up at the Elric brothers.

"Are you OK? You were having a nightmare." Al asks in concern and I nod, though I can feel my whole body trembling. I shake my head, trying to ignore the ghostly screams from my memories and stare ahead silently as I follow Ed and Al off the train, staring at the ground as I walk quietly behind them like a well trained dog.

"You sure you're OK?" Ed questions, glancing back at me and I nod tightly. Ed gives me a doubtful look before he turns back around and I shake my head again, trying to dislodge the nightmare caught like cobwebs in my mind.

I realize for the first time we're in a building and I look up in surprise, realizing we must be in Central now. When we reach the large doors to an office I baulk.

"You coming?" Ed questions as I shy away from the door, staring at it fearfully before I swallow hard and nod once, following them inside.

"About time you got here." I stiffen at his voice, staring at the man behind the desk and feeling my hackles rise.

"Mustang." I spit and see Ed and Al look at me in surprise. "You know each other?" Ed asks and I narrow my eyes as Mustang smirks. "We've met." He replies. "Now you two go out and play- the grown-ups need to talk." He says, folding his hands and resting his chin on them as he looks up at me.

Ed opens his mouth to shoot off some nasty retort but I clamp my hand over his mouth. "Stay out of this Ed. Just go get some sleep." I say quietly and he glowers at me, turning around in a huff and stalks from the room.

_Baby._

"Night Al." I say as he follows his brother with a sigh at his immaturity. "Night Memarie." He responds, glancing over his shoulder at me before he shuts the door behind him.

"Now then," Mustang starts and I whirl, rage barely controlled. "Before you launch into one of your stupid monologues, listen to me Colonel- I know what you want, and I'm not going to turn into one of your dogs!" I hiss, glaring at him.

"Aw, you're not even going to let me finish? After all I've done for you?" He mocks and I glare at him. "You didn't do it for me- you did it because you were ordered to, we both know that!" I spit. "That may be true, but I wasn't exactly horrible to you, was I?" Mustang challenges and I glower at him. "You were a pervert, you know that!"

"You're so cruel to me." Mustang sighs. "I'm trying to offer you a trade." He says patiently. "Will you listen to it all the way through _before _you rip my head off and eat it?"

I cross my arms and stare at him coldly.

"If you take the State Alchemy exam…" I open my mouth to protest and he holds up a hand. I stare at his glove, feeling my hatred grow. "Then I can offer you something in return."

"And what may that be, Colonel Asshole?"

"We have a few people who have been going into detailed research on something I know you want more then anything. And they're close to finding it, I know that. What I'm offering is for you to join in their research, full access to the libraries, and eventually access to the Stone."

I stare at him in shocked silence. We face off, neither of us giving in as the cold truth of what I know I have to do sinks in.

"If I pass." I say flatly. "Good." Mustang says happily, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms behind his head. "I look forward to ordering you around." He smirks and I launch myself at him, stopping myself with my face a few inches from his smug smirk, wishing more then anything I could wipe it off his face.

"I may turn into one of your dogs Roy," I hiss. "But I'm not scared to bite the hand that feeds me." I whirl and stalk from the room, feeling as though I am selling my soul.

"Oh, and Memarie," Mustang calls and I freeze in the doorway. "You'll need to study- I'd suggest studying with the Elric brothers. Especially since they're the ones looking for the Stone."

I turn around in shock but the doors close in front of me, and the last thing I see is Mustang's face looking at me smugly.

_Damn him. _I think, my hands forming fists. _I told myself I'd rather die before trying to become a State Alchemist- but if that's what it takes to find that Stone, then I'll do whatever it takes._

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**Author's Note:**

I adore Mustang so making Memarie hate him was a lot harder then I'd thought it would be. But I look forward to more Memarie and Mustang sparring (:

Review please! My happiness is just a click away.

LOSGAP =D

4


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, but you already knew that, didn't you?

LOSGAP =D

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I immediately began to hate studying for the exam, cursing Mustang with every page I turned, my brow deepening as I struggled to memorize every word.

I had "politely" refused help studying (I was in a bad mood after seeing Mustang, of course- Ed and Al have stayed far away from me after seeing the fire in my eyes.) so now I was alone, bored and had a headache.

I groan quietly and drop the book, rubbing my temples and closing my eyes.

_Mom, I told you I'd never become one of them- but now I have to, if I want to make things right again. Do you understand?_

The only answer was the wind sighing in the trees outside my window. I close my eyes, imagining I can hear Mom's voice whispering comfort to me.

I glare at the books piled on my bed and I pick another up, wishing I had more time- the exam was only in a few weeks, everyone else had probably had years to study- how was I supposed to learn in a few weeks time what other alchemists had accomplished in their entire lives?

OOO

"Well? How'd it go?" Ed asks as I drag my feet from the building where I have just taken the exam. I turn my head slowly towards him. "Horrible." I say weakly.

"It sucks, doesn't it?" Ed asks sympathetically and I nod dully. "I don't think I'll ever be the same." I mutter, scowling as I walk off, Ed and Al having to hurry to catch up with me.

"Did you finish?" Ed asks and I blink, trying to see or think anything other then questions. I have the bad feeling they'll be haunting me for the rest of my life.

"Barely." I reply. "You'd better get ready for the final part of the exam." Al pipes up helpfully and I stop dead in my tracks. "There's _more?"_

"Yeah, you have an interview then you have to demonstrate your alchemy." Ed says, crossing his arms behind his head as he walks.

"Oh dear God in Heaven…" I slump, a cloud of gloom surrounding me as I sit down on the ground, my head in my arms.

"Er, you OK?" Al asks and I groan in response. "She'll be fine once it's all over." Ed assures him. "Though I don't get it, why the hell are you going through all this if you hate the military so much?" Ed demands, one hand on his hip as he frowns down at me in confusion.

"I have my reasons, just like you have yours." I say, looking up at him. A flash of understanding passes between us, and I realize yet again Ed has must have seen similar horrors, if not worse.

_I barely know you, and yet I want to make those ghosts in your eyes go away. _

"The interview's no big deal, but you're going to have to work on something for the demonstration." Ed offers and I grin. "I think I can manage a demonstration."

OOO

The interview, as Ed had said was no big deal- all I had to do was sit on a three legged chair and tell them why I want to be a State Alchemist. I told them the truth- I want to become one to right the wrong in this world.

I didn't say that _I_ was the wrong I wanted to right.

But now, as I stared around at the trees, rocks and water I was supposed to use in my demonstration, I realize this is going to be a lot easier then I thought it would be.

I watch as the only other alchemist to make it this far, a man who must be at least twice my age, builds a house out of the stone.

_Wow. You're cool. _

"Now, let's see what you can do." I smirk as I back up a bit, getting closer to the water as I close my eyes, clapping my hands together.

I know I've got their interest immediately because everyone falls silent as I stretch my arms out wide, tilting my head back as I lean into the power that I know is exactly what Mustang wants.

Thunder rumbles and I hear confused voices, wondering where the storm clouds are coming from on a previously clear day, and I smile wider as the clouds swirl above my head and I snap open my eyes, throwing my arm out towards a tree. I watch in grim satisfaction as the tree explodes, shattered from the inside out from the lightning bolt I directed its way.

I put out my other hand, directing the rain to put out the fire I've caused and I stand perfectly still for a moment, absorbed in the power that is swelling through me, the power of the storm I have learned to tame with alchemy- I can manipulate the electricity in the air and the moisture, bringing them together to form a storm- and I don't even need fancy gloves to do it.

Finally I swing my arms out behind me, the storm dissipating without a trace, revealing the sun shining down on us happily, as though nothing has happened.

_Mom, I hope you don't mind me using the alchemy you've taught me to get into the army. _

"I think we've found our alchemist." One man remarks and I blink, almost feeling the collar and leash being clipped to me.

OOO

"Well, here's your watch." Mustang says, not looking up as he tosses the silver pocket watch to me. I nod stiffly as I attach it to my belt, crossing my arms and frowning at him.

"What do you want? A cookie? You got in the army." Mustang says, not looking up and I glare at him. "Have you talked to the Elrics about having someone join them?" I ask, sitting on his desk just to annoy him. "No, I figured I'd leave that up to you." He says and I snort.

"Great. I get the feeling they'll want to know why I need that Stone."

"Don't they have the right to know?" Mustang questions, putting a hand on his chin as he finally looks up at me.

"They do, but I'd rather not tell them anything just yet." I shrug. "It's nothing to hide. I don't see why you go to so much trouble." Mustang frowns and I give him an incredulous look. "You should _not _be the one saying it's nothing to hide!" I hiss.

"That's not what I was referring to." Mustang sighs. "You know what I meant." I roll my eyes. "And don't you think they're going to ask questions?"

"Tell them it was a train accident or something." He shrugs and my hands form fists as I entertain the notion of ripping his head clean off.

"Calm down before you break the desk. Just go ask them." He says, then blinks. "Oh yeah. Here you go." He says, handing me a letter. I rip it open and scan it quickly, wondering what my name will be.

"Welcome to the army," Mustang says, probably having already read it. "Storm Alchemist."

OOO

"Storm Alchemist?" Al questions after I tell the Elrics my new name and I nod.

"Catchy." Ed says. "So, you're one of the dogs now." He grins and I smile slightly, putting a hand on my hip as I lean my weight onto my leg.

"Something on your mind?" Ed asks, tilting his head and I blink in surprise at how observant he is. I stand there, fumbling for words as I try to think of a way to ask to come along when a man I don't recognize comes running up.

He stands up straight and salutes us. "I've been asked to escort you to Colonel Mustang's office straight away!" He says.

"Great. What does he want now?" Ed rolls his eyes, dragging his feet along as I fall into step beside him, wondering what Mustang has up his sleeve now.

When we reach his office, Mustang didn't look up to greet us; his nose was stuck in some book. He continued to remain silent as we all took seats in front of his desk, keeping quiet for so long I started to twitch and I could see Ed trying to keep calm- it was amusing to watch, it looked like his brain was melting or something.

"Just spit it out already!" Ed and I shriek in unison, then look at each other incredulously.

"Did you know starfish can re-grow limbs?" Mustang says, frowning thoughtfully at the book. My eye twitches. "You dragged us down here just to tell us that?" Ed demands before I can say something.

"They can. A completely new limb, no matter what happens to it. And that arm that was removed? It will grow into another starfish." Mustang says, closing the book.

"…what the hell Mustang?" I demand as I cross my arms and frown at him, completely confused.

"Healing. It's an interesting thing." Mustangs states, resting his chin in his hand as he looks at us. I hate how smug he is, that stupid "I know something you don't know" look stuck on his face.

_Keep it up and your face will freeze like that- didn't you learn anything from your mother?_

"Memarie here knows more about healing then some of the best doctors in the world." Mustang states and I duck my head, my cheeks flaring up in shock as I stare at the ground.

"We know, she's a doctor. What's your point?" Ed demands, leaning back on the couch. "You always manage to get yourself seriously injured whenever you step outside, don't you Ed? I can't seem to remember any mission where you didn't have to drag yourself back." Mustang smirks and a vein on Ed's forehead throbs.

"But what if you could heal quickly, on the spot?" Mustang asks, leaning back in his chair. "What if you had someone right by your side ready to patch you up and get you back in action before you could find a bandage?"

_So Mustang's trying to convince them for me? _I think, stunned. _Damn him- he always does this to me! Quit playing with my opinion of you!_

"That would be handy." Al says. "And I think Winry would be happy to know you had a doctor with you." Al adds and Ed scowls. "I don't need a babysitter!"

"I wouldn't be babysitting anyone." I snort. I flash a look over to Mustang, who nods once. He knows it's time I showed them something.

"I know you want the Stone because you need to rebuild yourselves, restore your human form." I say quietly. "I need that too."

Slowly, my eyes never leaving Ed's, I remove the cream colored gloves, looking like human skin at first glance, but once you removed them…

Ed stares as I roll up my sleeves, revealing my auto mail arms. "You… you lost your arms?" Ed whispers in horror. "That's not all." I say softly, reaching down to lift up my pant legs, unveiling my gleaming metal legs.

"I lost _all _of my limbs in a… accident, years ago." I look up at him, trying not to plead. "I'm nothing but a head and a torso. Please, you don't understand what it's like to be so… inhuman. I need to find that Stone Ed."

The two of us stare at each other, my secrets spread out on the table before him, holding my breath for his reaction.

"I think she should join us." Al says, turning to look at Ed. "We could definitely use her when you hurt yourself, and Ed, look at her…"

I wince inwardly, but I don't look away from Ed's golden eyes, staring into their depths as I try to find out what he's thinking.

"You strike me as the type who gets hurt often- the day I met you you had a broken wrist." The corner of my mouth lifts in a crooked half smile as I look at him.

"Good point. And she fixed you pretty fast." Al nods. Ed frowns thoughtfully.

"Just so you both know, I'm not asking you to take her." Mustang adds and Ed and I both snap our heads up.

"_What?!"_

"You're too valuable to the army to lose to blood loss or something like that." Mustang says, frowning at Ed. "With Memarie around your survival rate will go up pretty high."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! You think I'm just a little runt who can't take care of himself?!" Ed shrieks, leaping onto the couch and stabbing a finger at Mustang.

"Yes I do." Mustang deadpans and Ed roars with fury, screaming "Let me at him! I'll rip his lips off! I'll teach him to call me so small that…"

"Ed…" I growl, getting annoyed with his ranting.

"that I may just blow away in the wind! I'll show him I'm not small enough to kick his…"

"ED!" I shriek, smacking him in the back of the head. "WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR GOD'S SAKE?!"

Mustang chuckles quietly as Ed and I face off, him muttering that if I wasn't a girl he would have taught me a lesson- I reply that he's too small to chase around anyway.

"Ed, you're look at your new team member, so be nice." Mustang snorts as Al has to hold Ed back from killing me.

"Who said I want her to come with?!" Ed demands. "Who said I wanted to come?" I retort. "I'm just in it for the Stone; don't go thinking I love your company, pipsqueak."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU WANT TO CRUSH LIKE AN ANT?!"

"NO ONE DUMBASS! SHUT YOUR TINY LITTLE TRAP!"

"I think," Mustang says, leaning back in his chair and watching us bicker with an amused expression on his face. "That this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Bwahaha. I love messing with Ed xD

He's so cute and fun size it's impossible not to :)

I don't know if there already is someone called the Storm Alchemist- as I've said, I'm not too far in the series- right now I'm at episode 30.

So if there is I'll change her name- let me know in a review if there is one!

Speaking of which, don't forget to review! No flames please =)

LOSGAP =D

5


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

Of course, I don't own Full Metal Alchemist. If I did, things would be really crazy.

But my little Memarie is mine- you know this, because she _is _crazy.

LOSGAP =D

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I found out something about Ed Elric I could have lived without ever knowing.

The boy eats like a starving animal.

I quietly push my plate away, losing my appetite as he inhales what must be his seventh serving. Without a word, Ed snatches up my plate and continues his chicken massacre while I look on in disgust.

"I don't understand why you're so small when you eat so much." I say, frowning at him thoughtfully and, as expected, a vein throbs on his forehead.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SMALL?!" Ed shrieks, dropping his fork.

"You."

"WELL STOP!"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Oh, really?"

"REALLY!"

"I'm sure you will."

Ed glares at me, and I glare back, sitting back at the table and looking around the cafeteria, wondering how long we're going to be stuck here at Central.

"Don't see why we have to drag you along anyway." Ed scowls. "Because you'll probably die without me." I say smugly and he twitches a bit but for once doesn't offer a retort, concentrating on inhaling the last bit of his food.

As he stands up, in a bit of a huff, to go throw his remains away I stop him. "Ed."

"Ugh, what _now_?"

"You didn't drink your milk."

"Of course I didn't. It tastes like vomit."

"Ed, as your doctor I order you to drink it."

"Make me!"

I stand up and see Al shrink away from me. "Ed, maybe you should do as she says…"

"Or what?" Ed smirks as I calmly pick up his milk bottle and stroll up to him. "This can't be good." Al groans, hiding his face in his hands.

Ed takes one look at my dangerous expression and makes a break for it. I leap after him, unscrewing the milk cap as I attack him with a vise-like grip around his neck.

"Aw, big bad Full Metal Pipsqueak can't get away from the girl?" I smirk, pulling back his shirt and dumping the milk down his back.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

I drop Ed as he squirms and shrieks, wriggling around in his now very damp shirt.

"Next time I catch you with a full bottle of milk, it's going down your pants."

"…you wouldn't."

"I think I've already proved I will."

"You're sick lady!"

"And you're short, so we're even."

Ed cries out with frustration, tearing at his hair and I wonder briefly if I'm going to drive him insane.

OOO

"Wow. This is quiet." I comment as Ed and I stroll along in silence, Al a large shield in between us.

"I don't mind the quiet, as long as you two aren't fighting." Al says, his voice edged with fatigue and exasperation.

"Hey, I never start them." I say, holding up my auto mail hands in innocence.

"You sure do finish them." Ed grumbles, still sore about the milk incident, occasionally rubbing his neck and giving me a death glare from time to time.

"Hey, I'm a fighter. I like fighting, and I'm good at it." I shrug. "Doctors fight?" Al questions, turning his head to look at me and I smile wryly. "Not all can. I've trained a lot, that's all." I say, extending an arm above my head and flexing it.

"Who did your auto mail?" Ed asks and I look over. "Oh, these two really great people up in Resembool- Winry and Pinako, maybe you've heard of them?"

Ed and Al come to a dead halt as I continue walking a bit, then stop and look back at them. "What?"

"We used to live in Resembool!" Al exclaims. "Yeah, Winry and Pinako did my auto mail too." Ed says in surprise. "Really? Cool." I blink, a bit surprised that we had the same mechanics. "I don't remember you from Resembool though, did you live there?" Ed asks as we resume walking and I fall into step beside him.

"No, but after the accident they were the closest mechanics." I explain. "I lived back in that dirt-town you found me at."

"When was this accident?" Al asks curiously. "Three years ago." I reply, slipping my hands into my pockets as I look up at the stars above.

"Well that was a year after I got my auto mail, so no wonder Winry never mentioned you." Ed says, though he looks a bit confused. "Still, she would have mentioned another customer who bought auto mail."

"I bet they've had a lot of customers Ed, Winry and Pinako are really great at their job." I say, seeing the Central building looming up ahead.

We'd all gotten a bit fidgety waiting around in Central, and I finally suggested we just take a walk and clear our heads after dinner earlier that night- we had mostly just wandered around town, talking occasionally like we were now.

"Yeah, probably." Ed shrugs. "I'm still the best auto mail they've ever done though." He adds and I roll my eyes. "Mine's tailored just for me, so mine is more special."

"Hey! She had to make mine just for me too!"

"Yeah, but I'm more special then you."

Al groans as Ed and I start bickering again, rolling his eyes skyward. "Will you two ever stop fighting?" He demands.

"No, probably not." I reply.

**A/N:**

_I actually have no clue if Winry and Pinako have ever sold auto mail to anyone but Ed- even if they haven't though, it still ties into the plot. In a way. Bwahaha._

OOO

Later that night I sit quietly on my bed, frowning thoughtfully into the darkness as I reflect on the two Elric boys, their faces flashing through my mind as I try to analyze what I think of them.

_That Alphonse… he's got a pure, kind soul. He and his brother must have been through terrible things in order for him to lose his body, but somehow he is completely untainted by it- he's strong, maybe stronger then I. _

I run a hand through my hair, staring up at the ceiling as I lie back down, my head resting back on the cold, unforgiving auto mail as I think about Edward.

_He acts like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders- I get the feeling he believes he's responsible for what happened to Al, but Al never blames him… those two are impossible to figure out. _

I wiped a cool metal hand down my face, annoyed that I couldn't figure them out. I roll over and look out the window at the sky, blinking up at the full moon.

_I wonder when our first mission will be. Definitely will be interesting, that's for sure._

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Yes, it's a filler, don't eat me!

Writer's block is evil T_T

I'd appreciate any suggestions for their first mission- I don't any of the town names or anything like that, so even a few made-up names would be really helpful!

I'm overly dependent on you guys, aren't I? XD

Well, please review! See you guys next time! :D

LOSGAP =D

3


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys! I'd like to thank the user **lovelydasom **for giving me the idea for this chapter! :D

THANKS LOVELYDASOM! YOU ROCK!

Oh, and I used a fantasy name generator to find the dude's name and the town's name- sorry if they sound stupid/weird, but they were some of the very few I can actually pronounce xD

LOSGAP =D

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"We're lost." I groan, tilting my head back to glare at the sky.

"We're not lost." Ed snorts.

"Ed, that's the fifth time we passed that tree."

"Oh, like you can remember _every _tree you see!"

"I tend to remember the one that I put a notch in every time we pass it."

Ed stops and frowns at the tree with four long scratches in it.

"Could have been a wild animal." He finally says and I roll my eyes. "A wild animal that can control lightning? That's a new one." I snort.

"She has a point Ed." Al nods. "Wait, you can control lightning?" They both turn to me and I put my hands on my hips. "Why do you think they call me the Storm Alchemist? I can control and create storms, hence the name." I explain, earning an awed look from Al.

"Wow. That's really cool!" He exclaims. "Eh, it's no big deal." Ed shrugs and I snort. "You haven't faced me in a decent alchemy fight, so you have no idea what you're talking about." I roll my eyes.

"Now that sounds like a good idea." Ed smirks. "Guys, no fighting." Al groans. "It's getting really annoying. Can't we just try to make it to Irade in _peace?_"

"OK." I shrug, walking off in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going?!" Ed demands, chasing after me. "The right way, since you seem determined to walk around in circles." I roll my eyes and march off, Ed yelling for me to wait up and Al running after both of us.

OOO

"Told you I'd get us there."

"Shut up!"

"Certainly a lot faster then wandering around in circles, eh Al?"

"Uh…"

I sigh impatiently with Al's "I hate confrontation" attitude about Ed and I. "Well, we might as well get moving. It's dark, I'm hungry and tired- there's gotta be an inn around here." Ed grumbles, wandering off with Al and I following just behind.

We had been sent to this town of Irade because they had recently gotten a new leader of the town, someone who called himself the "King" of Irade. Considering the past leader had died of suspicious circumstances, we were ordered to check it out- I was a bit surprised with my first mission, but Ed had complained it was "child's play".

_Well, if Mustang ordered this mission there's gotta be more to it then meets the eye. Maybe we'll uncover something about the Stone? _

Ed, Al and I walk in silence as we look around the town, I a bit disturbed by the lack of activity in the streets- all the stores were closed, except for a few pubs and an inn further down the street.

When we walk in, the atmosphere is much different then that of the street outside- it's crowded with people, most drinking and laughing, not looking much like the unhappy villagers I had imagined.

_I wonder what this "King" Rylor is like. _I wonder, frowning ahead at nothing, completely zoning out as Ed speaks with the owner of the inn.

I look up when Ed mentions something about being a State Alchemist and hold up my watch, a bit grudgingly.

Next thing I know I feel a boot connecting with my gut and I gasp, the air flying out of my lungs as I'm kicked out the door, landing with a solid _thunk_ on the hard packed dirt of the road outside, Ed and Al crashing down next to me.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Ed shrieks, leaping to his feet while I try and find my breath again.

"We don't serve your kind around here." The innkeeper says, his eyes cold as he glares down at us. Before either of us can ask why the door slams in front of us and we can hear a lock sliding into place.

There is a silence as the three of us stare at the locked door, stunned by how quickly everything went.

"Well, that went well." I finally grunt as I haul myself up to my feet, dusting off my long tan pants.

"Now what do we do?" I demand, putting my hands on my hips as I glare at the inn. Ed sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "No clue. I've had this happen to me before, but I ended up staying with a rich guy- I'm guessing there isn't anyone like that around here though." He frowns.

"Maybe King What's-His-Face?" I question and he blinks. "Maybe, though you've gotta wonder, maybe he's ordered them not to deal with us- if he's the one ordering it, do you think he's going to let us in his house?" Ed points out.

"True." I groan. "Well, I'm tired; I don't really care if I have to sleep in a tree. In fact, that sounds nice. I'm off to find a tree." I say, walking off.

OOO

"OK, tree thing didn't work." I say, frowning up at the tree in front of me.

"No, really?" Ed rolls his eyes from where he's leaning against a tree across the path from me, sitting next to Al.

"Well, I sense a very uncomfortable night ahead." I sigh, sliding down the tree and glaring up at the impossible to climb trunk.

"Well, get some sleep- tomorrow we're paying a visit to this Rylor guy." Ed says, leaning back and closing his eyes.

"Night." I grumble, annoyed he's already asleep as I curl up into a tight ball, squeezing my eyes shut as I try to fall asleep.

OOO

I sleep fitfully, waking up often and rolling over, shivering in the cold night air, wishing I had a thicker shirt on, instead of just the pale blue long-sleeved one, comfortable as it may be on a hot day it's useless when you're trying to sleep outside.

But when I wake up sometime a few hours before dawn, I'm not frozen solid, which is surprising. I go to roll over and discover that someone has draped a coat over me. A long red one.

_I hadn't pegged you as a gentleman. _I think, pulling it closer around me as I open my eyes a bit wider to see Ed sitting up, leaning against Al and realize they're talking. I keep my eyes a fraction open, peering through my lashes at them as I listen.

"…so what do you think happened to her?" Al questions, looking up at the sky and I tense, realizing they must be talking about me.

"I don't know, but it must have been bad, if it took all of her limbs. I can't even imagine what the surgery must have been like." He shudders and I grimace at the memory.

"Mustang seems pretty interested in her though, which is weird." Ed comments and Al nods. "He's interested in you too though." Al reminds him and Ed frowns. "Not nearly as interested as he is in Memarie- he pretty much forced us to take her with us- I wonder what's in it for him by having her tag along?"

_That's a good question Ed. I'm wondering that myself. _

"Well I like her- I don't mind having her come with." Al says and I hide a faint smile. Ed whacks Al on the back of the head. "You like any cute girl you see, don't go falling in love with her."

"So you admit it!"

"Admit what?"

"You admit she's cute!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

I fight a grin as the two of them tussle, Al continuing to tease Ed and Ed protesting that he didn't find me attractive.

"Admit it Ed, you like her! You just gave her your coat- that's something you normally wouldn't do." Al points out and I listen intently for Ed's response.

"What do you think Mustang would have said if I brought back Memarie in a block of ice?!" Ed retorts and I deflate a bit.

_Just when I thought we were becoming friends. _I think in annoyance.

"Face it; you just didn't want her to be cold." Al teases and Ed twitches.

I listen to the brothers fighting, letting out a long sigh as I roll over, turning my back to them as I try to get back to sleep.

OOO

"Gee, I wonder if Rylor lives there." I ask dryly, staring up at the massive white mansion at the top of the hill overlooking the town, frowning as I cross my arms.

"Well, let's go." Ed says, marching off to the gate to the tall black fence surrounding the hill. Al and I come up beside him as he fiddles with the lock, an annoyed look on his face.

"It's locked with alchemy." He scowls. "I don't think I'll be able to open it without alerting him to our presence."

"Well, then we'll just have to find another way in." He says, backing up and frowning thoughtfully at the fence.

"Way ahead of you." I grin, having already drawn a transmutation circle on the ground. I slam my hands down on it, watching in satisfaction as the section of fence in front of me changes shape from a fence to a rod lying on the ground and I step over it.

"Nice." Ed comments, following after me as I start walking up the hill, wondering what we were going to meet when we got inside.

When we get to the doors, we hesitate, looking at each other as silently ask what to do next- knock? Kick it down? Blow it up?

"Ah, what the hell?" Ed rolls his eyes, strolling up and throwing the doors open. We all freeze when we see that someone was standing just inside.

"Hello there." He says, smiling welcomingly. "I thought I heard someone coming. Please, do come in." He steps back and sweeps his arm, his small brown eyes shining. "It's been a while since I've had visitors."

"Um, OK. Sure." Ed shrugs, walking in. Al and I exchange a nervous glance before we walk in a bit more slowly.

_Am the only one who thinks something's up? This guy is too nice to be sincere… _I frown, lost in thought as I look around the grandeur of his "humble abode", reeking of incense and screaming luxury at every step- plush carpets, draperies and paintings on the walls, marble statues at every turn…

_I wonder where he gets all this money. Probably from those poor townsfolk- who, though they're quite rude, really don't deserve to be robbed. Especially from a man as fat as he is. _

Rylor leads us into what looks like a living room, filled with large plush couches, in every color of velvet I could think of.

_This guy really needs to work on his decorating skills. _I think critically as I sit down on a red couch, sinking down a good foot.

Ed and Al sit next to me and I smirk at how low Ed sinks, though he doesn't seem to notice as he looks around the room.

"Nice place you got here." Ed remarks, though he looks a bit perplexed as he looks over at a large yellow couch across the room.

"Thank you." Rylor beams. "Now, would you like some refreshments?"

I turn my head as a butler walks in and roll my eyes, planting my chin in my hands as I watch the man lower a silver tray in front of us, offering a wide assortment of tiny finger foods.

_How can such a fat man eat such tiny food and still look like that? _I wonder, picking up a finger sandwich and eyeing his expansive girth in confusion as Ed happily devours the entire platter.

I nibble on the bread mostly, taking a glass of lemonade that the butler has produced from out of nowhere.

I look around the room and realize with a shock that Rylor's mouth is moving.

_Oh my gosh he's been talking this entire time. _I think in horror.

_What has he been saying?! It may have been really important! _I groan mentally, taking another sip of lemonade.

"…the last leader of this town died in his sleep- none of us really know what happened to him." Rylor was saying. "Sounds a bit suspicious, if you ask me. You just said he was in perfect health." Ed points out, downing a glass of his lemonade in one gulp.

"Don't you have doctors in this town? Didn't they perform an autopsy?" I ask, quietly setting down my glass and fixing him with a confused look.

"Yes, but they couldn't find anything wrong with him." Rylor says and I frown thoughtfully, then jump when I hear the sound of glass breaking. I whirl to glare at Ed for dropping his glass but then I see the way he's staring at his hands, trembling violently in front of him.

"Ed?" I question, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. "What's up?" He doesn't respond, his eyes slowly sliding close and he begins to tilt forward.

"Brother!" Al exclaims as I catch Ed, gently lowering him to the ground. I press two fingers to his neck, my eyes widening when I feel how slow his pulse is, and how it's growing steadily weaker.

"What the hell did you do to him?!" I demand, whirling to accuse Rylor but the moment I turned to him something hard and metal connects with my skull.

I blink slowly as I fall backwards, landing hard on the floor as the darkness smothers me.

OOO

I slowly become aware of my surroundings, of the cold concrete beneath me, the musty, dank smell in the air and the quiet, slow breathing of a body nearby.

_Ed. _I realize, making an effort to open my eyes and realize we must be in a basement or something, Ed lying across the room from me, still out cold.

_At least he's still breathing. _I think in relief, my eyes scanning the room for means of escape. "Al!" I hiss when I see the loveable suit of armor slumped against the wall next to Ed. He looks up hopefully when I turn my head towards him, my head throbbing. "What happened?"

"Memarie! You're OK!" He says in relief. "I don't know what happened! After Ed passed out Rylor hit you over the head with the food tray, and then he dragged you two off. I tried to fight them, I really, really tried, but he had guards, and…" He hangs his head, ashamed. "I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry." He whimpers and I make an effort to sit up. "Al, it's not your fault." I say gently. "If you were outnumbered, there was little you could have done." I comfort him, sitting up slowly and discovering I'm not tied up or anything, but poor Al is chained to the wall.

I gather myself underneath me, wincing as I try to stand, but the ground tilts underneath me and I fall, crumbling back to the ground.

"Damn it." I hiss, placing my hand on the ground as I slowly lift myself up. "He really packs a punch." I groan, managing to struggle to a sitting position, shaking my head as I try to clear it.

"Well, it looks like you're awake." I raise my head in shock when Rylor walks in, leaning casually against the wall. "You poisoned Ed." I say bluntly, having figured it out.

"My, you're a smart one, aren't you?" He smirks. "Too bad you didn't drink your lemonade like a good little girl, then it wouldn't have hurt." He says and I roll my eyes.

_Why do I sense a long monologue coming on about how he needs to dispose of us meddling kids before we ruin his evil plans?_

"You know, this town sits over a diamond mine." Rylor says, not looking at me as he pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and a match.

_Well, it's good to know you'll die early, you bastard. _

"But that idiot Murtough, the past leader, didn't take advantage of it! He said it was 'too dangerous', that the mine could collapse any day, and that all that dust down there will give everyone in the town cancer!" He snorts.

"So you poisoned him to take over the town." I sigh. "Wow that was cliché." I mutter, too quietly for him to hear.

"And now, I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams! The idiots in this town worship the ground I walk on, believing that I am saving them from poverty and starvation!"

"And let me guess- now you're going to kill us all before we foil your plans." I sigh. "Yup, I'm guessing that's what you're planning."

Rylor turns to me, a furious expression in his eyes as he opens his mouth to offer some sharp retort, but I'm not listening.

I clap my hands together, slamming down into the concrete with brutal force and I smirk slightly as I transmute the concrete from lying flat on the ground to rising up in a cage around Rylor.

"How did you do that?!" Rylor demands, staring at me through the bars of his cage. "That's for me to know and you to never find out." I reply, tapping my nose.

"What do you think Al? Leave him down here in this cage or beat the snot out of him?" I ask as I clap my hands together, pressing them to Al's chains so they fall away, transformed into small toy blocks.

"Thanks." Al says as he stands up, a menacing aura surrounding him as he glares at Rylor. "You hurt my brother." He growls, stepping towards him. Rylor cowers in the back of his cage, whimpering with fear and I sigh, holding out my hand to stop Al.

"Don't kick a man when he's down Al." I say. Rylor looks surprised by my mercy but then he grins. "Foolish little girl!" I realize for the first time he's scratched a transmutation circle into the concrete with a diamond ring on his finger.

I yelp as a concrete fist rises from the ground, slamming into my stomach with brute force as I'm propelled off the ground, flipping over to land on my feet, one hand pressed against the floor in a cat-like stance as I stare up at Rylor, panting heavily.

He's standing with one foot on Ed, a smug smile on his face. "Thought you could beat me that easily?" He grins, putting more weight onto his foot on Ed. "Think again!" Ed cries out in his poison-induced slumber and I snarl, clapping my hands together.

"Get your fat foot off of him!" I shriek, diving forward as I transmute my arms to matching swords, coming at him with all guns drawn.

Al runs at my side, probably more furious then I as I leap up, slashing at Rylor as I swing past him.

For a fat guy, he's pretty fast as he leans back, dodging my blows but falling right into Al's metal fist.

Rylor shrieks like a girl as Al flings him against the wall, slamming into it with an audible bone-crunching thud, sliding down the wall to the floor, groaning softly.

I transmute my arms back to normal as I lean down, slinging Ed's arm around my shoulders. "Let's get out of here and call Central- someone else can take care of this idiot, right now we should get Ed some help." I say, straightening slowly, thanking my lucky stars Ed was so light.

"OK." Al nods. "I'll carry him though; he's too big for you." Al adds, easily taking Ed from me and slinging him over his shoulder like luggage.

"If only Ed was awake to hear you say that." I smirk as we walk up the stairs, ignoring Rylor shrieking for us to come back, couldn't we see he was injured?!

"Maybe we should go back, make sure he doesn't die or anything." Al says worriedly. "Nah, he's fine. Just a broken arm, nothing too serious." I say, waving a hand dismissively.

"Ed's going to be mad he missed the fight." I grin as we step outside into the light, I looking up and sighing with relief, glad to see daylight again.

Al laughs, nodding in agreement. "It was a pretty decent fight for a first mission- I'm going to bet they're going to get a lot better though." I grin, swinging my arms at my sides, welcoming the challenge of a good fight.

OOO

"Sounds like a boring fight anyway, I'm glad I missed it." Ed yawns, crossing his arms behind his head as he leans back in the train seat, staring out the window.

"Well, now we get to go tell Mustang you fell asleep on the job.." I say, smirking smugly and Ed glares at me.

"What's going to happen to Rylor anyway?" Al asks suddenly and I shrug. "Hawkeye said over the phone that he'd been taken care of." I reply.

"That was fast." Ed says in surprise and I roll my eyes. "You were out cold for at least twenty-four hours Ed." I snort.

"Wow. That long?" Ed asks in surprise. "You're lucky you didn't die though, considering the amount of poison in such a tiny body."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING TINY?!"

"YOU, SMALL FRY!

"QUACK DOCTOR!"

"ANNOYING PIPSQUEAK!"

"EVIL WITCH!"

"MIDGIT!"

Al groans as Ed and I start bickering again, slumping in his seat. "Here we go again."

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Meh this chapter was hard to write, for some reason. Fight scenes are hard for me to write, so I apologize for how brief it was, besides do you really think a fat old smoker like Rylor could fight very long?

And ha ha, I know, spiked lemonade- I'm so weird xD

Hope you guys liked this (really long o.O) chapter! Please review and tell me what you thought!

LOSGAP =D

7


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

OK. I have learned two things about my reviewers.

One: You greatly enjoy Ed being tortured with milk.

Two: You love spiked lemonade.

Hmm. I must figure out how to further incorporate these things in the story… *rubs chin thoughtfully*

Anyway…

This was a sad chapter for me to write. But, it gives you more clues about Memarie's past! But it was still gut-wrenchingly sad for me… *collapses in anguish*

**Ed: **Well apparently the authoress is out of commission.

**LOSGAP:** *angst*

**Memarie: **The authoress, who is currently laying angst-nuggets in the corner, would like to say she doesn't own anyone. Except me. Man, I _really_ feel like a dog on a leash now -_-;;

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Ed shrieks and leaped up twenty feet in the air.

"HOLY HELL! WHAT WAS THAT?!" I sigh, crumbling the now-empty milk carton. "You didn't drink your milk again. Told you I'd go for the pants next time."

"You FIEND!"

"Oh, I've been promoted to fiend now! I'm so happy…" I sigh dramatically, pressing the back of my hand to my forehead and swooning.

"I'll kill you!"

"Bring it!"

Everyone in the cafeteria, including Al protesting that we shouldn't fight, cleared the way as Ed charged at me, swinging his auto mail fist at my head.

I duck easily, neatly dodging each blow, smirking as Ed steadily turns purple with frustration as he can't land a single punch.

"Damn it, hold still!" He shrieks, and I catch his fist in mid-air and he blinks in surprise as I grin smugly, flipping him easily over my shoulder, dropping him on the floor.

"I knew you were too small to put up a decent fight." I say in disappointment as Ed wriggles around, trying to get his arm free.

I blink in surprise when Ed tackles me to the ground, knocking the wind out of me and I raise my eyebrows, impressed by his speed.

"Not bad kid." I say when he pins me to the floor, panting heavily. "Not good enough though." I add, kneeing him in the gut and flipping him over, pressing my hands firmly down on his arms and my knee on his stomach.

"Looks like you lost this round." I say and look up when Mustang walks past.

"Memarie, would you stop raping Ed and come to my office?" He asks, not glancing down.

I drop Ed instantly and shoot to my feet, glaring daggers at Mustang as Ed hops up next to me, stabbing a finger at Mustang and shrieking something about how he and I were definitely not doing anything.

"Oh, young love! How beautiful!" Major Armstrong cries, spinning and sparkling. I sigh and decide I'll leave Ed to deal with him as I follow after Mustang, wondering what he wants.

OOO

I cross my arms, frowning down at Mustang as he sits down as his desk, picking up a paper.

"I believe you have a report to make about your stay in Irade?" Mustang questions, handing me a clip-board and I roll my eyes, flopping down in the chair.

For a while the room is deadly silent, no sound heard but for the steady tick of the clock and the scratch of pens on paper as Mustang and I work quietly, neither making an attempt at conversation.

"I don't see why I have to write it up in your office." I mutter, not looking up as I frown thoughtfully at the paper. "It's standard protocol, making sure you're not influenced by anyone while you're writing it up." Mustang explains, also not looking up. (A/N: I actually don't know how they make reports, leave me alone xD)

"Ah." I nod once, finishing up my report and handing it to him. I turn to leave but something catches my eye and for the first time in a long time, a genuine grin lifts my face and I pick up the photo frame on Mustang's desk, smiling at the sight of Maes Hughes standing next to Mustang, grinning happily at the camera.

"I miss him." I say, looking up at Mustang. "How is the old goofball?" I ask eagerly.

Mustang doesn't reply at first, waiting for a moment before he looks up at me. "He's dead, Memarie." He says quietly and the photo frame falls from my hand, clattering to his desk and reverberating into silence as I stare at him.

"No." My voice comes out in a faint whisper. "He can't be… oh no. Not Hughes…" My fists clench at my side and I bow my head, allowing my hair to shield my eyes as I close them, not willing to let Mustang see my tears.

"Where is he buried?" I ask quietly.

OOO

A cool wind whips my hair around me as I stare down silently at the grave marker, realizing that he's truly gone.

"So, 'Brigadier General', huh?" I whisper, falling to my knees as I stare at the grave. My hands tighten around the grass as I struggle to contain my tears.

"You were one of the greatest people I've ever met." I say quietly. "You saved my life when I couldn't do it myself… and now, you're gone. I swear to you Hughes, I'll find who did this to you. I'll find them and I _will_ avenge you, if it is the last thing I do." I whisper fiercely, taking a deep shuddering breath as I try to collect myself.

I clap my hands together, pressing them down gently to the ground. A bunch of wildflowers shoot up between my hands and I look up at the grave marker.

"It's not much, but it's the least I can do for you." I say softly, rising slowly to my feet. "I'll never forget you, Brigadier General Hughes."

I stand up straight and raise my right hand in a salute, bowing to his tombstone before I turn and walk away, my fists clenched as I stare straight ahead.

_I meant what I said Hughes. _I think determinedly. _Even if you're so-called "best friend" won't avenge your murder, I will._

OOO

_Tortured screams split the night air as flames reached for the stars, flickering hungrily as it reached it's burning tendrils for more fuel…_

My eyes snap open and I stare ahead at the wall in front of me, soaked with sweat and trembling with every shaky breath I take.

I roll over and look up at the ceiling, suddenly feeling more alone then I usually felt at my old empty house. I had expected to feel at least a little safe and comforted in a big bedroom in the middle of Central, but the wide expansion of space between me and the door, and knowing that there were no friends nor family nearby made it hard.

_What do you mean, "no friends nor family"? Ed and Al sleep right down the hall. _I chide myself. _Technically though, only Al and I are really friends, but he could befriend a lion, that boy is so kind. Ed, on the other hand… we're mainly acquaintances. _

I'm fairly disappointed with that fact, but I get the feeling that Ed is slow to trust, but even slower to remove that trust in someone.

_I'll earn that trust someday. I'll just have to prove myself to you._

OOO

"Ugh. I am so bored I can't stand it." I groan, flopping back on the grass and staring up at the sky.

"Think we're not bored? Mustang's taking his sweet time giving you something to do." Ed scowls from nearby, picking at the grass idly.

"Most likely he's too busy with his call girls to remember to give me a mission." I snort, and Ed chuckles. "That's not very nice to say about the Colonel." Al chides and I roll my eyes but don't offer a response.

"I'm just annoyed we have to baby sit you." Ed scowls. "_Excuse _me? Who's baby sitting who, pipsqueak?"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE CAN RIDE A FLEA?!"

"NO ONE YOU OVER REACTIVE IMMATURE BLONDIE WITH A HEIGHT COMPLEX!"

"Evil witch!"

"Hobbit!"

"I AM NOT A FREAKING HOBBIT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"

"Uneducated hobbit!"

Ed looks murderous as he glares at me, but I glare right back. "Guys, _please_ stop fighting!" Al groans. "You're worse then a cat and mouse!"

"I'm the cat!" I call instantly. "Ed has to be the mouse because he's so tiny."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!"

Ed was cut off by Al slapping a hand on his mouth and his other on mine.

"Don't start again." Al growls and I shrink away. The boy can be _scary _when he's pissed.

"…k." Ed and I mutter in unison, staring at the ground like scolded children.

"Thank you." Al removes his hands and sits back down a ways off, going back to watching the clouds roll by.

"Eheh… I'm going to go… somewhere." I say, standing up and running away as quickly as could.

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**Author's Note:**

Yes it's a filler, thank you Captain Obvious.

Obviously I'm low on ideas for the moment… sorry! I actually have like 5 chapters planned out but those chapters don't start for a few more chapters… gah. I hate it when that happens, don't you my fellow authors?

Anyway…

This was sad for me because I adored Hughes. I still do. As xXImmortalsxDiceXx put it, he is the shiz-nit.

I also recently realized I'm completely neglecting my other stories o.o. I need to give them some TLC or they may run away in the night.

Until next time!

LOSGAP =D

4


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**

DON'T HURT ME!

I know, I know, I KNOW.

It took me forever to update.

I've had the WORST case of writer's block I've ever had I think- my writing muses hate me T_T

And I changed the title! :D

I changed it to "Tourniquet" because of the Evanescence song- it fits Memarie PERFECTLY. Words can not describe how much it fits her. If you have not heard it yet, go now my little minions! You shall not regret it :D

Well, let's get onto the chapter!

LOSGAP =D

PS.

For those curious, yes, I used a Batman's villain name. SUE ME.

…ok, don't.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, or the name Scarecrow. However, my dear little Mem-chan is mine, so HA!

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I scowl up at the branches above me as another rain drop splashes down my cheek, worsening my already foul mood.

I cross my arms and lean back against the tree trunk, feeling its rough bark scratch against my back as I press my head against the trunk and close my eyes, waiting out the storm.

I look up at the angry dark clouds swirling above the forest, thunder grumbling lowly in the distance.

_We're never going to get going at this rate. _I think in frustration. _Though it's not like we're in a big rush- just an anonymous tip and Ed's off like a shot- I doubt we're going to unearth anything big, but maybe we'll dig up a little bit of information. _

Yesterday, while we were eating lunch in the cafeteria, we'd overheard a conversation between soldiers.

_Flashback._

"Still no luck with that- what's he called? Bird something…" One solider mused from the table behind me.

"Scarecrow. And no, no luck." Another dark-haired man sighed and slumped in his chair. "He's got some crazy alchemy, that's for sure- no one can touch him!" He exclaimed and I noticed Ed raise his head slightly when the man mentioned alchemy.

"What kind of crazy alchemy?" He asked, looking interested. The man looked up. "He can do anything! And he never even draws a transmutation circle- he can disappear right into thin air! It's crazy, man." The soldier shook his head while everyone at his table looked on in awed silence.

"What's the big deal about this Scarecrow?" I snorted. "Sounds like a bunch of cheap tricks." I doubted he could do any of that- probably illusions.

"He's emptying out a nearby town of all it's money- not just a run-of-the-mill crook, he's stealing jewels, robbing banks- no one can catch him. There's a big reward out for whoever turns him in." He added. "We've all been giving it a try- obviously no one's gotten him yet." He sighed, putting his chin on his hand.

I turned around to tell Ed to not get any ideas, but he and Al were already gone.

_End flashback._

I groaned inwardly- the town was about three miles from where we were stopping, we could have reached it by the end of the day.

"You're the Storm Alchemist, can't you do something?" Ed asks suddenly and I snap my head up in surprise. "You can start storms, can't you?" He presses. "Maybe you can break it up."

I blink slowly. Why had I never thought of that?

"I'll give it a try." I say finally, clapping my hands together and spreading my arms out wide, closing my eyes and tilting my head back.

When I enter this state, I become hyper-aware of the storm- I feel every water droplet, every bolt of electricity flickering through the air, every molecule that makes up this storm. I allow my senses to travel up to the cloud itself, entering its dark belly.

Outside the storm it's chaotic, but inside it's almost painful for me to feel things- molecules are moving so fast, slamming forcefully into each other and I am being mentally pummeled from the storm's strength.

_Stop. _I command silently as I slowly tighten my fists. My hands fly out and I snap open my eyes as the clouds rip apart above me.

I hold up an arm above me as all the water in the clouds drops down on my head, partially shielding myself from the harsh slap of the water as it plummets from high above.

I open my eyes slowly, looking around at the fog around me and blink in surprise at the moisture in the air- by dispersing the storm, I must have shattered the cloud from the inside out, sending the wisps of cloud down to Earth and encasing us all in mud and mist.

"You did it!" Al says from somewhere ahead of me. I shrug. "Guess I did." I reply, mentally patting myself on the back for learning a new ability- I doubted it would help anytime soon, but it was still nice to learn something new.

"Well, let's get going." I say as I stand up, brushing my hands on my pants as I walk off onto the nearby trail, Ed and Al following close behind.

OOO

Esmyre is no small town- it's a city, full of bustling people always in a hurry and bright lights, and the air is full of noise and excitement.

"We're never going to find a thief in here." I grumble. "It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack." Ed scowls and glares over at me. "We've gotta check it out." He insists. "I don't like the thought of someone using alchemy for money anyway, I'll be happy to kick his ass." Ed grins suddenly and I sigh.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to end up patching you up by the end of the night?" I say and Ed rolls his eyes. "I don't need you patching me up!" He snaps. "I could probably beat this Scarecrow guy with one hand tied behind my back!" He exclaims, and I curl my lip in a slight sneer as I look down at him.

"I'd like to see that." I smirk and a vein on his forehead throbs as he shakes a fist. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing, I just think this fight will be entertaining, that's all- and I'll get to practice a little more medical alchemy." I shrug and to my surprise Ed grins. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll be real entertained while I'm kicking his ass!" He grins. "Where's your 'tough girl fighter' attitude? Going to sit on the sidelines, _little girl?"_

I pick up Ed by his throat and shake him violently, screaming, "Who the hell you calling a little girl?! I've squashed bugs bigger then you, you circus midget freak!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A MIDGET?!"

I open my mouth to offer a sharp retort but freeze when I hear the sound of glass breaking. I drop Ed and whirl to see a hole in the window of a jewelry store across the street and the screams of passerby as someone races through the crowd, shoving people roughly aside.

I take off after him without a second thought, Ed and Al calling after me before I hear the thud of footsteps and the clank of metal as they give chase.

_This will be over fast. _I thought, weaving deftly between people, my stride growing longer and I start to give myself over to the mad thud of my heart as adrenaline pounds in my veins, going so fast the world is a blur and all I can see is the dark ginger head of the man I am in pursuit of.

I can feel a little voice in the back of my head warning me to stay alert as we turn into an alley, which was a poor choice for him- without people to avoid I'm twice as fast.

I skid to a halt when I hit a dead end and look around, panting heavily as I narrow my eyes, scanning the dark alley, alert for any sign of movement.

I glance towards the opening of the alley, wondering if Ed and Al are ever going to catch up- they could take a while.

I cock my head, listening intently when I hear a faint scraping sound, like a shoe on stone. I turn towards the sounds origin but see nothing, growling with frustration.

"Come out and fight like a man!" I demand. "Too scared?" I sneer, looking up and checking to see if he had climbed up on anything, but there is nothing above me.

_I don't believe in disappearing men- he's here, just very good at his game. _I think, looking around again. _Very, very good. _

Something prickling at the back of my neck warns me and I whirl, kicking up strongly and slamming my leg into a hand, staring up into the face of a dark-eyed man with a slight smile on his face.

"Well, they're sending little girls to fight their battles now, eh?" He smirks and I grit my teeth. "I don't fight any battles but my own." I snarl as I flip my body over, twisting my leg out of his hold while slamming my other into the side of his head.

He grunts and jerks his head to the side with the blow as I land neatly on my feet before leaping up again, my raised fist connecting solidly with his chin.

"I'm not interested in any monologues you may start any second now." I say as he lands with a solid thud, groaning softly. "I _am_ curious, however, about how you manage to hide from people." I say, putting my hands on my hips and tilting my head curiously as I look down at him.

"Memarie!" I turn my head at the sound of running footsteps as Ed and Al finally catch up, Ed panting heavily as he leans his hands on his knees, gasping for air.

"About time you got here." I say flatly. "I've got this just about wrapped up- he was just about to tell me…" I turn back to where Scarecrow was lying and turn right into his punch.

"Memarie!" Al exclaims as I reel backwards from the impact, slumping against the wall and closing my eyes briefly as I let the world stop spinning.

My eyes flutter open and I shake my head, wincing as my nose throbs painfully. I cautiously reach up and gingerly touch my nose, flinching as I pull my suddenly blood-soaked hand away.

_Oh that's just great. _

"Memarie, are you OK?" Ed demands sharply and I nod dully. "I'm fine." I murmur, my voice slightly slurred as I spit out a mouthful of blood, the back of my throat burning from the flow of the red sticky liquid from my nose.

"You're not OK, you're covered in blood- Al, you guard her while I find this freak." Ed growls as he claps his hands, transmuting his arm into a sword.

"Got it!" Al hurries over to stand in front of me, his hands held out and his feet braced in a battle stance. "I'll be fine in a bit, don't worry, just give me a second." I say as I shut my eyes tight, carefully setting the broken bones in place.

It hurts, but at least my nose won't grow back crooked. I clap my hands together and press them gently to my nose, healing the severed blood vessels and broken bones.

I stand up slowly, the world spinning for a brief moment before I get my bearings and Al looks back over his shoulder. "Are you OK?" He asks worriedly and I nod. "I'm fine." I say, my attention caught by Ed knocking over a garbage can at the end of the alley, screaming about whether the Scarecrow was a man or a mouse.

"I think he's gone Ed." I say quietly and both he and Al stare at me. "How do you know?" Al asks curiously and I shrug. "Sixth sense, I guess." I reply.

It's true- I just don't sense him nearby, I'm not aware of any fourth soul in this alley.

"We'll get him next time." I say determinedly.

OOO

"OK we've got to get a strategy together for dealing with this Scarecrow guy." I say, twirling my fork in my breakfast, rapidly losing my appetite as Ed inhales his fourth platter.

"I don't need a strategy!" Ed snaps and I jerk my head back at the spray of half-chewed food. "One punch and I'll lay him flat! Thinking's not going to help at all." He snorts and I roll my eyes. "Let's see how far you'll get tonight without a plan." I say, somewhat amused. "I bet I can bring him down before you can!" Ed boasts and I smirk.

"You're on." I reply, shaking his hand.

OOO

"Having fun?!" Ed shouts and I scowl down at him. "Shut up, you're going to let him know where we are!" I snap as I kneel down on the roof, peering over the edge and glaring down at Ed with his big smirk and Al's slightly uncomfortable look.

"REALLY?! I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT!" Ed bawls and I slap my hand into my face, running it down and taking a deep calming breath.

"Let's just get going- have fun boys." I say, mock-saluting to them and leaping off across the gap between roofs.

"How did she do that?!" I hear Al gasp and smile slightly to myself as I run faster, leaving the two surprised brothers behind me.

I don't check my pace, not growing tired since my legs were auto-mail as I leap strongly from rooftop to rooftop, peering down into every alley and street for any sign of Scarecrow.

_Dumb name for a criminal anyway- wonder who came up with that. _I think absent-mindedly, crouching down and peering down at one of the busier streets, narrowing my eyes as I scan the shops, looking for Scarecrow's next possible target.

My eyes narrow to slits when I see a clothes store- the mannequins in the front have expensive-looking jewelry draped over them, and the clothes they are wearing are designer.

_That will probably be a good place to wait for him. _I think, gathering myself and making the leap.

No one notices me flying over them as I land neatly on the building, smiling slightly to myself as I dust my pants off.

_You certainly make good auto-mail Winry. _I think with a grin. I wonder if Ed could jump buildings if he tried.

I sit down and peer cautiously over the edge, setting myself down comfortably.

_Now all I have to do is wait. _

OOO

_A piercing scream splits the night air, shattering the fragile peace and marking the beginning of the end. _

My head snaps up, my eyes widening in disbelief and fear. _I fell asleep?!_

Gritting my teeth I leap to my feet, staring down wildly, my eyes raking the crowds. The crowd has noticeably thinned- there's hardly anyone out anymore.

When the scream comes again, I realize with a shock I hadn't been dreaming. I turn towards the cry for help and dig my feet into the ground, taking off like a rocket and propelling myself swiftly over the rooftops.

I check every alley as I leap, searching for the source of the outcry. My eyes narrow thoughtfully as I leap, replaying the scream in my mind as I try to build a mental image of who made it.

_Sounds like a man, in pain, and not being very brave about it. Still, better check out it- Ed may be strangling someone for calling him short. _I thought. A small sweat drop appears by my head.

_That would be so Ed. _

I see a flash of movement underneath me and stop at the other side of the alley, turning around to peer over the edge cautiously.

It's Ed and Al. I sigh softly, looking around for a body that I was going to have to help Ed get rid of, when I see the Scarecrow, pressed against the back alley, clutching his arm, just above the elbow.

_Of course, the big bad jewel thief is a wuss. _I roll my eyes as I crouch, springing down to land lightly in front of a very stunned Ed and Al.

"What'd I miss?" I ask, dusting off my hands as I straighten from my cat-like crouch, giving the terrified Scarecrow a curious look.

"Memarie! Where did you come from?!" Al gasps. I wordlessly point up with a blank expression. "That's so cool." He breathes. "Brother, why can't _you_ do that?" Al asks suddenly and a vein bulges on Ed's forehead.

"I DON'T NEED TO HOP AROUND LIKE A FRICKIN' CRICKET!" He roars, jumping up and down and waving his arms around.

"Certainly small enough to pass for a cricket." I smirk and Al grabs Ed in a tight hold while the little man screams abuse, lunging at me. I turn back to the Scarecrow and discover he's gone.

"Not getting me this time!" I growl, clapping my hand and passing it over my right arm, turning it to a sword.

"Where'd he go?" Al asks, sounding scared. I back up until my back is pressed against Ed's, bracing my arms and legs in a defensive stance.

"Not sure." Ed grunts as Al looks around wildly, as though hoping he'll see something he's missed. I narrow my eyes as I study the alley in front of me, taking in every detail.

"Don't worry Al," I say as I stare into the dark. "Ed and I are going to take care of this guy real quick."

"That's so sweet; you're including me in your plans now?" Ed mocks and I roll my eyes. "Now's not the time for sarcasm." I snap.

"You're just sore you lost the bet." I can almost hear the smirk in Ed's voice.

"Night's not over yet." I growl.

A flicker of movement catches my attention and I cry out. "Ed! Look out!"

But I'm too late- Scarecrow catches Ed in the arm with a powerful punch, throwing him forcefully into the brick wall.

"Brother!" Al cries and I clench my jaw, not missing my chance to leap forward, slamming my metal arm into the side of Scarecrow's head.

He staggers, the blow to his head dazing him, and I drop to my hands and spin, knocking his legs out beneath him and leaping back up to land with one foot landed on his chest.

He stares up at me, blinking once, and then grinning. "You'll never catch me." He smirks and his hand goes to his chest.

When he pulls the necklace out of his pocket I reach out, about to stop him but as my hand closes around his fist he disappears.

"Memarie!"

It's Ed's voice, and I look over to him. "Yeah? What, your arm isn't broken, is it?" I demand, my foot still on the Scarecrow's chest.

_But I can't seem him. _

I realize with a shock he _is_ invisible- that stone around his neck, the small red one, must be an imitation Philosopher's Stone! Somehow, he must have learned to manipulate his cells to become transparent- a truly impressive feat, he must be a scientist.

"Where'd you go?" Al asks in surprise and I look down, realizing he must have done the same to me.

"I know how the Scarecrow does it!" I say in triumphant, and the Scarecrow takes my momentary distraction as an opportunity and grabs my leg, ripping it out from underneath me and sending me crashing down to the concrete, my head knocking back on the ground.

For a moment everything goes quiet and dark, and for a moment I float in bliss before reality slams back down onto me with a boot connecting with the side of my skull.

"Memarie! What's going on, where did you two go?!" Ed demands furiously as I flip up to my feet, not taking my eyes off of where the Scarecrow must have been.

I whirl and kick out, feeling my boot connect with something hard and Scarecrow grunts before I leap and tackle him.

It's not a very clean ending to the fight but my hands find his throat, pressing two fingers neatly to the vein under his jaw.

He struggles violently for a moment, and then is completely still.

His cells return to normal, as do mine and I rip the necklace from his throat, panting heavily as I wipe a hand over my face, shaking my head to clear the blood pouring in my ears.

"He has a Stone." I look up in surprise at the sight of Ed and Al right beside me, having not noticed them come up. Ed wordlessly takes the Stone from my hand and examines it closely.

"A good imitation." He says, his tone becoming professional. "Not very large though." He says and I nod in agreement- it's smaller then the average tear drop.

"What should we do with it?" I ask curiously, having never been in this situation before. Ed shrugs. "I don't know- turn it in, I guess." He frowns suddenly and holds it out to me. "Unless _you_ want it." He adds and I slap it away from him before I can stop myself.

"Keep that away from me." I hiss and Ed blinks before he shrugs again, pocketing the Stone. "Suit yourself." He says and we all turn when Al speaks.

"Is he dead?" He asks worriedly and I look down at Scarecrow. "Nah, just knocked out. I cut off the flow of blood to his brain for a second." I shrug. Ed and Al both look a bit disturbed but don't press it.

"He'll be back up before long though- Al, would you mind carrying him? Let's go find some rope or something- he's a decent fighter, though he's not much use without his Stone." I ask and Al nods, leaning down and slinging the Scarecrow over his shoulder with ease.

"Now, for you." I say, turning to Ed. "Hold still." I clap my hands together and press two fingers neatly to the gash on his cheek, smirking at the blush flaring under his skin at my gentle touch.

"Get over yourself." I say as I pick up the arm Scarecrow punched, rolling up his sleeve and examining it carefully.

Ed is strangely silent as I gently squeeze his arm, moving up bit by bit until he flinches at my touch just below his elbow.

I say nothing and look closer, seeing a bruise coming on and increase the pressure slightly until Ed yelps. "Would you quit that?!" He exclaims and I roll my eyes. "I'm trying to see if it's broken anywhere." I snap. "Ed, just let her help you." Al sighs from behind us.

"Yes, let the nice doctor look at you." I grin as I clap my hands together, pressing them around his arm, closing my eyes as I fuse the broken blood vessels together, healing the bruise before it can even begin and discovering a small crack in his radius bone.

"This'll hurt a little bit." I murmur before healing the bone, feeling Ed's arm muscles tighten until it feels as though I am holding an iron bar in my hands.

When I'm done I let go, watching Ed flex his newly healed arm in mild satisfaction. "Not bad, eh?" I smirk and he glances over at me. "Yeah, not bad." He grins as he pulls his sleeve back down. "Pretty good for a little girl."

My momentary happiness explodes and I punch his freshly healed shoulder, screaming about how he was an asshole.

Al watches us launch into yet another legendary fight and sweat drops. "They're at it again…"

OOO

**Author's Note:**

:D

Of course I couldn't let Ed be grateful for anything for long, now could I?

Yeah it was a bit random, bouncing between place to place, and the Scarecrow is a stupid name- I just watched a show with a guy named Scarecrow in it and thought it was catchy, give me a break, I'm low on creative juices!

It's better then nothing though, ne?

I hope six pages are enough to satisfy you after such a long wait. I'm sorry about that :(

Very sorry.

Anyway, please review. And don't flame please. If I wanted a flame I'd call Mustang a wet match.

See ya! ;)

LOSGAP =D

8


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:**

Well, you know the drill- read and review! :D

LOSGAP =D

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I wake up the unpleasant sensation of being shaken like a wrinkled sheet and snap open my eyes.

"Damn it Ed put me down!" I snarl, flailing around as I try to get loose. He drops me suddenly and makes a noise of surprise.

"Well, that was nice of you." I grumble, curling up into a tighter ball and shutting my eyes again. "Go away."

"But Memarie, we got worried! You've been asleep all day!" Al exclaims from somewhere in my room and I growl lowly.

"I feel like shit- no, strike that. I feel worse then shit. I want to die." I groan, pulling my pillow over my head.

"But you're a doctor- can't you just heal yourself or something?" Ed demands and I open one eye to glare at him. "I don't use freaking magic." I hiss. "It's still alchemy- there's nothing for me to heal when I'm sick. That's something the body can only do on its own- best thing to do is sleep. Which I can't do with you shaking me like a freaking doll!"

"But you wouldn't get up." Al whimpers. "So? What do you guys care?" I grumble. "Go do something productive- I'll be fine before long." I say, closing my eyes again.

There was a moment's silence and I could tell they were both still standing there, not sure what to do. I lift a hand from the bed and point towards the door. "I believe the exit is that way."

"Fine." Ed snorts. "Al and I will get a lot done now that we don't have you to drag around." I grit my teeth at that, but don't offer a response while I wait for them to leave.

As soon as the door clicks shut I open my eyes, checking to make sure the room was clear before I sigh in relief, stretching luxuriously and parting my mouth wide in a yawn, rolling my shoulders as I sat up and blinked sleepily.

OK, so I was playing hooky. But not really- as much as Ed's words hurt, they were true. I hated how they got held back with me there- Mustang kept assigning us baby missions, and I was getting damn tired of Ed and Al's talents being wasted babysitting me.

_Well, no sense in being lazy today._ I think, swinging my legs over the bed. _Now to find out what those Elric boys do when I'm not around…_

OOO

It was official. The Elrics were _boring._

I stifle a yawn as I peek a glance at them from behind a library shelf, both of them engrossed in books. I eye the large stack of books they had already read, wondering how two teenage boys could stand to sit around and read all day.

I leap about three feet in the air when someone drops his hand on my shoulder. I whirl and tackle him, placing one hand over his mouth and sweeping his legs out from underneath him, catching him so he lands without a sound on the carpet and then rolling over, one knee pressed firmly on his chest.

"Ugh. I should have guessed." I roll my eyes when I see it's just Mustang. "What do you want?" I demand, removing my hand and wiping it on my pants, disgusted I had touched his face.

"Well, seeing as how you haven't been doing anything today…"

"Neither are the Elrics!" I protest, knowing a mission is coming, most likely a boring one. "They've been doing research." He points out. "You've been skulking around in the shadows all day."

"I have not." I snort and cross my arms and he raises an eyebrow.

"And just so you know, you've really lost your touch- getting flabby sitting behind that desk all day?" I ask with a smirk, secretly surprised I had managed to take Mustang down without a sound- I was surprised he hadn't set my hair on fire.

"If you're wondering why I didn't snap or anything, it's because I know you're already pretty hot right now, aren't you?" He grins and I blink, take in my position on top of him, and promptly turn a shade of green. "Sick bastard." I hiss, leaping off of him. "How haven't you been arrested yet?"

"Because they can't prove anything." Mustang wiggles his eyebrows, and I roll my eyes. I see Ed raise his head out of the corner of my eye and say something to Al, jerking his head in my direction.

I grab Mustang's hand and drag him down the aisle, a fierce scowl on my face as I haul him away from the Elrics before they discover I'd been tailing them- Ed would accuse me of stalking him, and then I'd have to punch him, and I didn't want to get blood on any of the books.

"Do you even know the way to my office?" Mustang asks in some amusement as I continue towing him down the corridors of Central, not bothering to let him go. "Yes." I reply, not looking back as we come to his office doors.

I kick the doors open and toss him in, shutting them behind me and flopped down on the couch, pointedly ignoring him.

"You're behaving like a four year old." Mustang snorts. "Takes one to know one." I shot back and he plops down in his chair, probably trying to look all important behind his stupid desk. I wonder how many people he had to stab in the back to get there.

"We really didn't need to come here." He says and I shrug. He frowns thoughtfully. "You didn't want the Elric boys to see you." He says flatly and I don't answer.

"Well considering they thought you were gravely ill, and you seem fine, I'm guessing you're avoiding them? Why, Ed too much to handle?"

I keep my face blank, eyes focused straight ahead as I wait for orders to go scrub the men's lavatories or something. I'm tired and stiff from standing in the same position most of the morning, and with his taunting I'm slowly starting to reach my boiling point.

He decides to drop it, for whatever reason, and slides a piece of paper across the desk. "I think I've got a good mission for your first time flying solo." He says. I reach across and pick it up, frowning down at the paper.

My eyes narrow and I turn to glare at him. "Are you _kidding me?!"_

"What?" Mustang asks innocently. "Do you think it's too much of an _advanced_ mission?" He mocks and my temper snaps for a moment.

Mustang's hand flies out, a wall of flame intercepting the lightning bolt that had burst from my hand of its own accord and canceling them both out, both disappearing as quickly as they had come.

I sit trembling, staring at the wall, my ears ringing with the loudness of the thunder that had exploded in the room and my throat burning from the scent of smoke in the air. I could see Mustang was on the phone, his lips forming words I couldn't hear, probably assuring everyone outside that everything was fine.

I look down at the paper, but see it is gone, a little pile of ash on the floor the only indication it had ever existed.

Neither of us speaks for a long time- I'm too shaken up to react. _I still can't control it. After all these years, if I lose my temper… _

I glance involuntarily at Mustang, who is frowning thoughtfully at me and I look quickly away. _If he'd been anyone else I would have killed him. _

An image of Ed flares up in my mind, of how angry he could make me, and my blood runs cold at the thought of what I could do to him.

A spot of ash lands on my nose and I sneeze, realizing for the first time that the stack of papers on Mustang's desk had also been engulfed in flames, the ashes falling like snow.

"You see," Mustang's voice breaks the deathly silence. "This is why I give you such easy missions."

I turn slowly towards him, a realization dawning on me. He was _protecting_ me?

_He's just trying to save you from yourself. _A voice echoes in my mind. _Maybe that's why he put you with the Elrics- he knew they would really test your patience, and help you learn to restrain yourself. _

"All right." I say shakily. "I'll go on the stupid mission."

OOO

"Bodyguard" was not a term that I would have ever thought I would use to describe myself. But now as I stand in front of the elementary school, looking between the picture in my hand and the crowd of kids I wonder if Mustang could have given me an easier mission.

The mission was to walk the kid home from school and stay with him until his mom got home- apparently his dad was some big crime boss or something and was a witness in a trial against one of his partners- today it was my responsibility to make sure the kid didn't get shot, blown up, etc, on his way home from school. His usual bodyguard was at a wedding, so this was only for the day.

_How bad can it be? _I wonder, looking down at the picture and taking a double take. _Wow. How did I not notice that?_ I think in shock. The kid, Marc, looks a lot like Ed- long blonde hair pulled into a braid, about Ed's height, and had that same mischievous grin- but his eyes were brown, not Ed's golden eyes.

_Wait, golden? Why didn't I just think "yellow" or something less… handsome? _Ugh. The words "handsome" and "Ed" just did not sound right together.

My weird thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a short boy walking through the crowd, an annoyed look on his face when he spotted me waving him over.

"You're the sub?" Is all he has to say when he stops in front of me. "Hi to you too." I mutter. "Let's just go." He growls.

Without waiting for a go-ahead, he walks off in a huff. I sigh, following a few feet behind him, keeping my eyes not focused just on him, but on the area around him, alert for any sign of movement or the slightest sound.

But as I walked, thoughts of what I had almost done to Mustang emerged in my mind like something rising to the surface of dark water- try as I might, I couldn't force them back down again.

_Well, I doubt I'll lose my temper around him- he's only eleven. _I thought, and then grin. _And he's taller then Ed!_

"We're here." Marc says, jerking me out of my thoughts as he opens the door to an apartment building. "Wait." I order, darting in front of him. "I'll check inside first."

Marc just rolls his eyes, not offering a response as he leans against the door frame, watching in silence as I cautiously enter the stairwell, checking for anyone, traps, etc.

"None of the other bodyguards did that." Marc points out as I poke my head in his closet. "Well, I'm not the other bodyguards." I reply, closing the door and turning to him. "OK. The coast is clear."

"I could have told you that." Marc snorts as he kicks off his shoes. "So… what do you want to do?" I say awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck as I frown down at him.

He just shrugs and wanders from the room, leaving me to roll my eyes and follow, knowing it's going to be a boring night.

OOO

I try my best not to fidget as Marc fiddles with the radio, listening to the latest adventure of some superhero- he was getting pretty into it, though I was slowly going insane.

"I'll just clean up." I say finally with a slight twitch, jumping up and looking at the clock. It was seven- I'd be relieved any minute.

I gathered up the plates and silverware and took them to the kitchen, escaping into the quiet dark room, away from the loud sound effects and the deep, booming voice of the radio announcer.

_Just a little bit longer…_

I finish up with the dishes and wander back into the living room, frowning at the back of Marc's head. He was a bit of an annoying brat- though I couldn't really blame him. It must really suck to have your every move tailed by a stranger and have your dad locked up somewhere in protective custody.

But no one said he has to be such an ass about it.

I leap up just as the door opens, my legs braced and my fists ready for battle, but the blonde haired woman at the door just laughs.

"I see Marc was in good hands." She smiles and I notice for the first time the dark, very large man behind her.

"See you kid." I try not to dash for the door, ruffling Marc's hair as I pass and nodding to the mom's bodyguard, disappearing out the door and crashing right into someone.

"Ow!" I hiss, rubbing my head as the door closes behind me. I turn to glare at whoever it was and blink in surprise.

"Ed?"

_What the heck is he doing here?_ I wonder, watching Ed rubbing the sore spot on his forehead and scowling. "What are you doing here?" I repeat out loud and Ed jumps, his scowl turning into an embarrassed sort of grimace, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Um… well…"

"Spit it out." I roll my eyes, privately amused with his babbling. "We ran into Mustang a little while after you left," He starts. "And he told us about how he had sent you off- I figured I'd come with the bodyguard when he takes the kid's mom home." He explains. I raise my eyebrow. "And why did you come with?" I ask curiously, crossing my arms. Ed turns a bright shade of red, ducking his head as he mutters a response.

"I didn't think you should be walking back alone." He finally scowls. "It's after dark and this isn't exactly a safe neighborhood. And since you're a girl and all…"

I smack him on the back of the head. "You know, I almost thought you were sweet and then you just _had_ to add that last bit!" I roll my eyes. "I can take care of myself." I snap, storming down the steps, Ed trotting along just behind me.

"I know that!" He sounds about one step away from one of his famous rants. "But since you're sick…" He trails off again and I want to kick myself for snapping at him. _Damn him and his good heart- making me look bad!_

"Oh. Yeah." I'd almost forgotten about my failed hooky attempt this morning- I was starting to think I should have just stayed in bed.

We walk in silence for a few minutes, and I start to realize Ed had a point- this place _was _creepy- it seemed like every few feet there was yet another dark alley, and considering I had to make sure a kid didn't get killed by the gangs in the area, I almost felt relieved Ed was with me.

"So, are you feeling better?" Ed asks suddenly and I blink in surprise, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. "Yeah. Thanks for asking." I reply, trying to look pale.

We fall into another rather uncomfortable silence, before I realize we're missing a certain suit of armor.

"Hey, where's Al?" I look around as though he may be hiding behind me. Ed shrugs. "Sulking. We got in a fight." Ed admits.

An unexpected stab of pity rose in me and I look down at Ed, not liking the unusually sad look in his eyes. "What did you fight about?" I ask, fully aware my voice was a lot more gentle then usual- those two were closer then anyone I had ever seen. I hated the thought of them fighting.

Ed looks embarrassed. "He picked up another stray cat." He sighs.

I could guess the rest- I hadn't known them long but I'd already discovered Al had a thing for cats- walking back from Irade we'd run into at least six stray cats- Al had carried each one back to Central and found them all homes.

I couldn't help but think it was a bit funny that a suit of armor had a bigger heart then every man I knew put together.

"He'll be fine by tomorrow." I reassure Ed, and he nods in agreement. "Yeah, he's just being a baby." He snorts.

Whatever he was going to say next was interrupted when I felt a shadow loom up behind me and I spun, calling out Ed's name to warn him but it was already too late.

Ed screams as someone pulls a burlap sack over his head, kicking and flailing as he tries to get free, and I lunge towards him, desperate to help but two arms wrap strongly around me, hauling me straight up into the air.

"Edward!" I call, wriggling frantically. I manage to elbow the man holding me to the head and he grunts, tossing me roughly aside into the wall of a building nearby. I lay stunned for a moment, shaking my head as I try to get up, watching helplessly as Ed is carried away.

OOO

But I don't give up so easily. Despite the fact I'm fairly certain I have a concussion, I take off after Ed, keeping my eyes fixed on the broad back of whoever's carrying him.

But I just can't go that fast- the world is spinning, and my eyes can't focus, but from what I can see Ed isn't moving anymore- have they drugged him? Hit him over the head?

_Why are they taking him?!_ I scream silently as my vision darkens and the sidewalk comes rushing up at me and I crumble, trying to catch my breath.

An image of Marc flashes through my mind and I blink in shock, the pieces of the puzzle coming together. _They think he's Marc? But they were going to _kill_ Marc!_

I rise from the cement, staring into the dark alley in which they've disappeared, gritting my teeth against the throbbing in my head.

_Hold on Ed- I'm coming!_

OOO

I follow the men to an old warehouse, and I sigh, rolling my eyes. _Could this really be any cheesier? Really?_

I peer through a boarded up window, just able to catch a glimpse of the two men disappearing into a room, not even closing the door behind them.

_Morons. _I smirk as I step quietly inside, stepping lightly over the dusty floor as I make my way to the door, peering in warily.

They've got Ed sitting in a chair, and the one who grabbed him is tying his hands behind his back. Ed's eyes are open, but they're dazed and cloudy- they must have hit him over the head, and hard.

_Let's see. Options. Smart thing to do would be to call Mustang and get reinforcements. _I try to think tactfully, but my thoughts are interrupted by the deep, gravely voice of the man who had grabbed me.

"You sure this is the kid?" He asks, eyeing Ed warily. "Of course I'm sure." His friend snorts. "Do you think I'm a moron Cedric?" He demands.

"Yes, but that's not the point." The other man, Cedric apparently, snorts. "Look at the picture and back at him."

There was a brief silence as Cedric and his friend studied Ed and a picture of Marc, the other man's dark eyes narrowing.

"Shit. This is the wrong kid!" He exclaims, dropping the picture and staring nervously at Cedric. "Well, thanks to you Jon this kid's gotta die." Cedric rolls his eyes, reaching into his jacket.

The second I see the gun I know there's no time for reinforcements and I kick the door open, mainly to grab their attention away from Ed.

There's a thundering bang close to my ear and I duck down, death whizzing past my head and exploding in the wall behind me. I clap my hands together, transmuting my arms into swords as I come at them, not quite willing to use my lightning alchemy just yet.

_Not after losing control today- I can't risk it with Ed so close. _I think as I charge, dodging a rain of gunfire from both Cedric and Jon now.

_Ugh, why do I even care if I accidentally blow him up? He's never done anything to make me want to keep him around._

I shake my head, dislodging my thoughts and trying to focus on the situation as I race towards Jon and Cedric, both arms crossed in front of me, ready to fight.

A bullet lands in my right thigh and I cry out as the machinery explodes, glad for once that it wasn't flesh and blood. I see Jon and Cedric's eyes widen by the fact that nails and screws shoot out of my lame leg, not blood.

As I finally reach Ed's chair though my leg buckles, and I drop down, clapping my hands together as I slam them into the ground, throwing up a shield for both of us, the sound of the bullets ricocheting against the concrete wall loud as thunder in my ears.

"Memarie…?" Ed asks slowly, shaking his head as I start to untie him, glancing frantically at the wall. It wouldn't be long before Cedric and Jon realized they could just walk around it and start shooting again. "Get out of here- now!" I hiss as the final knot comes undone.

Ed, with nothing to support him, falls forward, I barely managing to catch him before he hits the concrete. "Damn it Ed don't make me carry you out of here!" I demand, shaking him just as Jon steps out from behind the wall.

"Peek a boo." He grins, just as he fires. I throw myself over Ed, wincing as a bullet lands in my left arm, thankfully not destroying it, but certainly leaving a pretty bad dent.

I pick up Ed and toss him roughly aside, clapping my hands together just before they hit the ground again, creating a shield all around him, but in the process I used up all the concrete flooring nearby- there was nowhere for me to hide now.

"Dumb move." Cedric, having come beside Jon, snorts and I stare up into the barrel of his gun, cold terror clenching my stomach.

_So this is the end? Dying to save Ed? _I think as I close my eyes. But somehow, I don't regret that being my final deed. _This morning I wanted to choke him- but now here I am, in front of a gun just to give him a chance to survive this crazy situation. _

I open one eye and look towards the concrete dome I've created for Ed. _All because you wanted to be a gentleman and walk me home. _

I watch Cedric tighten his finger on the trigger and close my eyes, waiting expectantly for it.

There is a thunderous _bang_ and then, silence.

OOO

_Well being dead certainly hurts like hell. _

I open my eyes and blink with annoyance. _Maybe I shouldn't have put it like that- this certainly looks like the place I died. _

"You idiot." A voice hisses in my ear and I turn to Ed in surprise. "What are you doing here?" I ask in shock.. Did Ed die too?

"Saving your ass." He says just as a bullet bounces off the concrete between our heads- for the first time I realize I'm lying on the ground several feet away from where I had been earlier, Ed on top of me with his head on the ground beside mine.

We both must have had the same thought because we both turn red as I clap my hands, building yet another wall. "Why aren't you using your lightning?" Ed demands as we both sit up, ready to keep fighting. I don't answer- mainly because I don't want to, but also because I've noticed something.

"Ed, you're bleeding."

Ed blinks in surprise and pulls back his jacket, revealing a dark stain on his stomach, and I suck in a breath. "Ed…"

"It's nothing." He shrugs. "I don't even feel it." He says but I can see how pale he is. _He took that bullet… for me. _I think, staring dumb-founded at the growing dark red stain. _He risked everything for me._

I clap my hands together, lifting up another concrete wall surrounding us, using up all of the concrete in the room- no more shields now.

"Lie down." I command him quietly and after a moment's silence he obeys finally, letting me pull up his shirt and examining his wound carefully.

"I can cure the bleeding now." I say finally, clapping my hands together quietly. "But I can't remove the bullet now- we can do that later." I press my hands gently to the edge of the hole in his side and he flinches slightly as the wound begins to glow.

I grow deaf to the explosions thundering around me, concentrating only on carefully knitting together blown veins and torn organs, putting Ed back together again.

"Thank you." I say quietly as I work, not looking at Ed. "Hey, you came back for me." Ed replies. "We're even."

I smile slightly, not feeling like pointing out that if he hadn't come to walk me home we wouldn't be in this mess- we've still got to bust out of here.

"There." I whisper after another's minute's silence. "You won't die now- good thing I was here, eh?" I wink and he grins, pulling his shirt back down. "Yeah, I guess it was." He says, sitting up slowly, his hand on his side, a slightly pained look on his face. "You ready?" He asks as he claps his hands together, pressing them to the ground. I grin back at him, clapping my own hands. "Ready."

OOO

Ed waits for me to slip into my semi-conscious state, crouching beside me as I spread my arms, closing my eyes as I tilt my head back.

_Well Ed, let's hope I can keep a lid on the lighting tonight._ I think as I concentrate on the electricity in the air, feeling it speed up and compress into an orb almost in the palms of my hands, the energy crackling around inside our little shelter.

The bullets stop as they start to hear what must sound to them like a fire, probably wondering how it happened. "Now." I whisper, and Ed slams his hands against the wall, blowing it to bits.

I straighten in an instant, feeling my hair lift up around me as I start to give myself over to the storm, the energy in my hands now beginning to glow.

Ed is forced to back away from me as the lightning crackles and spits, wary of the bright energy and rightfully so.

I spot Jon rising from the ground, blown clear across the room, and send the lightning in my left hand towards him, waiting until I feel the molecules collide with that of the gun's and compress the atoms in an instant.

Jon shrieks as the gun explodes in his hand, reeling backwards and clutching his hand, and I avoid my eyes from what I have done to him. _He was trying to kill you. And Ed. _A voice in my head reminds me as I look for Cedric.

_He's still a human being. _Another voice retorts and I hear a cry of pain and turn my head in surprise, seeing Ed standing over Cedric with one foot on his chest, grinning as he waves at me.

For a moment I just stare at him- the fight's over? That fast?

_You could have prevented him ever getting hurt if you'd just used your lightning in the first place! _The voice hisses angrily.

I ignore it, allowing the molecules to drift apart, returning back to their normal places in the air and I groan softly as the energy drains out of me.

I fall to my knees, collapsing onto my side and closing my eyes, trying to catch my breath. I feel a hand shaking me, calling my name but I ignore it, allowing myself to slip into the dark warmth of sleep.

OOO

"Do you have any idea how stupid you both were?" Mustang demands, glaring down at Ed and I.

"It's not my fault I got kidnapped!" Ed snaps and I nod tiredly, pulling my blanket closer around me. "You both could have been killed." He fumes, pacing back in forth in front of the curb where Ed and I both sat, leaning against each other and not really caring about the closeness- we were tired and cold, and it felt nice to have a friend to lean on.

_A friend you could have lost because you were too scared to use your power._ I wince. It was true- the scar in Ed's side would forever remind me of my cowardice.

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but apparently sometime after I passed out Mustang and his lackeys arrived, having gotten reports of gunfire and since Ed and I hadn't arrived back yet he probably put two and two together- so now Ed and I were wrapped tightly in two thick blankets and sitting on the curb of the street in front of the warehouse, both of us tired and in no mood for a scolding from Mustang.

"But we weren't, and we got two thugs arrested." Ed says smugly. Mustang runs a hand down his face, and for the first time I realize he looks tired. I quickly put it off on the poor lighting.

"Just get some rest." He sighs, walking off. I close my eyes, hating how tired I am- it takes almost all my energy to control the molecules of a storm- if I used it for too long I'd probably end up killing myself.

There's a sudden _bang_ and I jump as Ed frowns down as his auto mail hand falls off. "Oops." He says flatly and I smile slightly as I eye his missing hand and my blown leg. "We're falling apart." I sigh, leaning my head back against his shoulder. He turns red, which makes me smile wider- he's probably never had a girl so close.

_Like you've ever had a boy so close before._ A voice scoffs in my head. _Yeah but I'm not flipping out about it. He's like a brother. _

I swear I must have magic powers or something because the instant the word "brother" ran through my mind a very large shadow loomed over Ed and I.

I look up and smile weakly at Al. "Hey." I say tiredly.

"What happened?!" Al shrieks as he picks up Ed and me, engulfing us in a rib-cracking hug as he practically nuzzles Ed.

"I was so worried! Mustang called and said you'd been in a fight and you'd been shot! Don't scare me like that ever again!" He exclaims.

"Al… we… can't…" Ed's voice comes out strangled and I finish his sentence for him. "Breathe! Al, too much love!" I gag and he sets us down carefully.

"Oh! Sorry!" He says sheepishly. I smile slightly at the loveable suit of armor and turn to Ed. "Well, I think we're going to need to get fixed up." I say, nodding to his hand and he grimaces. "Yeah, Winry's gonna kill me." He groans and I almost laugh. "Wait till she gets a load of me!" I exclaim, sweeping a hand towards my busted arm and leg.

"So we get to go visit Winry?" Al asks eagerly and Ed sighs.

"Yup, I guess we're going to have to."

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Gah I'm so sorry this took so long to put out! My brains been kind of cluttered so… yeah. Ha ha.

So yay, we get to see Winry soon! *dances*

OH!

Before I forget, guess what the LOSGAP did?!

…

I got a deviantART account!! :D

Just click on my homepage link and you'll go right to it ^_^

I've already got a few pics up there- I'll be posting some for Tourniquet quite soon!

Well, I'm off for now so hasta la bye bye!

LOSGAP =D

10


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:**

Hehe yeah there was certainly a lot of hinting towards Ed and Memarie starting to get some weird feelings last chapter, ne?

I'm trying to keep it from ending up as them realizing they're in love or something at the last minute -_-;; don't you hate that?

It's a lot more interesting to toy with their emotions XD

So we'll be taking it slow but steady- Ed's kinda slow so we'll have to take baby steps with him anyway :)

**Ed: HEY!**

Oh, from now on I'll have song lyrics in the beginning of every chapter, sometimes scattered throughout- they usually won't have much to do with the actual chapter, but with the story/Memarie in general.

Just letting you know. :D

- LOSGAP =D

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_I've gotta fight for what's right_

_ Today I'm speaking my mind_

_ And if it kills me tonight _

_ I will be ready to die_

_ A hero's not afraid to give his life_

_ A hero's gonna save me just in time_

_ ("Hero", Skillet)_

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After a lot of pushing, shoving, insulting, screaming and kicking, we finally got Ed into the hospital- I had insisted he get that bullet removed by a legitimate surgeon then by me on his couch but he seemed to prefer the latter- I asked if he was scared of hospitals, Ed chased me, and then his wound opened up again. .

That finally got him in the operating room.

Idiot.

_Still, I don't like the idea of Ed going under the knife. _I think, feeling my brows crease with worry. _Even as a doctor I don't like surgery- the whole cutting live flesh just creeps me out a bit. _

I shake my head and stare up at my ceiling, sighing quietly. Al was waiting patiently at the hospital, probably happily chatting with the nurses, who were most likely making plans to have him marry their daughters, while I was holed up in my room, brooding.

Every time I close my eyes I hear the gunshot, see the dark stain on Ed's side, his calm, unafraid face. _How could he be so willing? Doesn't he value his life at all?_ I wonder. _Doesn't he fear death?_

I sigh, running a hand down my face, feeling the cool auto mail beneath the soft gloves, and brush back a lock of chocolate brown hair.

_Ed, I hope you never try to sacrifice yourself for me again. _I think, rolling over and switching my attention to the window, unable to see more then a scrap of blue sky from my position.

_ Because if you do, I'll bring you back and kick your scrawny ass._

OOO

"They _still_ haven't let me eat anything!" Ed complains just as I walk in, blinking in surprise at the fact Ed is sitting up in bed.

"Lie down." I say curtly and he scowls. "Make me." He snorts. I eye the carton of milk left on the dresser next to his bed and he follows my gaze, then growls. "Fine." He flops backwards, crossing his arms. "Happy?"

"You're acting like a four-year old." I snort as I pick up his chart at the end of the bed, running a critical eye over it.

"Hmm." I frown thoughtfully, seeing his surgery had gone well- he'd probably be up and about in a week. "Well Ed, it's a good thing you're small- little people heal faster." I say, setting the chart back. Ed promptly explodes.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING LITTLE?!" Ed roars, then winces. I roll my eyes. "That's why I told you to lie down!" I snap, storming over and stepping between Al and Ed, forcing the irate state Alchemist back down onto the bed and pulling up his shirt, making him turn red but I ignore his modesty as I check the bandages.

"Well, you're not bleeding, you're just sore- take it easy, will you? We've got to head back to see Winry soon." I remind him, indicating the crutches I left beside the door. Ed gets an unreadable expression in his eyes as he looks at them then back at my leg.

"Yeah, I know." He says quietly. I sigh, then lean forward, trying to improve my bedside manner a bit. "Just get some rest, OK?" I ask him, brushing back his bangs as I try to see if he has a fever, cursing the fact my hands can't feel temperature.

It'd be a whole lot easier to tell if he'd stop blushing.

"Well, it's going to be a long week while you recover." I sigh, placing my hand back on my hip, and Ed's flush disappears with it- at least he doesn't a fever. A fever meant infection, and infected wounds are never good.

"Al, make sure he _doesn't leave_." I say sternly. "Only bathroom trips, and even then take it easy- and keep him warm, but not too warm-,"

"Memarie," Ed interrupts me and I blink, looking down in surprise. "What?"

"I'll be fine- I'm stronger then I look." He says, his lips turned up at the corners in an amused smile- his eyes are like warm honey as he looks back at me. "You're acting like you're never coming back to visit." Al points out and I bite my lip.

"I'll be back to visit just… not often." I say awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. "Scared of hospitals?" Al asks in sympathy and I laugh quietly. "I'm a doctor- that'd be a little weird, no?" I grin.

_Still, I don't want your pity so I'll have to make something up- I've never been good at this. _

"I just, er…" I start but am interrupted by Ed's derisive laughter. "You _are_ scared of hospitals! Hah! That's great! A doctor afraid of hospitals!" He roars with laughter, clutching his side as though he thinks it's going to split open from the laughter.

"It's OK Memarie, you don't have to come back if you don't want to." Al says kindly and I smile slightly at him. "Thanks Al- I'll be back soon." I promise, oddly reluctant to leave, but with a resigned sigh I walk out, lifting my hand in a wave as I take my crutches, waiting until after I've left and closed the door behind me before I crumble, gasping as I clutch my injured leg, gritting my teeth against the pain.

_Damn it! I can't even move! _I think with an inner snarl as I straighten carefully, biting my lip as I hobble slowly down the pearly white hospital hallway, looking forward to collapsing in my bed.

OOO

Whatever had happened to my leg, every movement was agony- each step felt like Mustang had set my leg aflame and the fire raced through my veins clear up to my spine- but every day I made the long, painful trek to the hospital to see Ed.

_He saved my life- I owe him the courtesy of a regular visit. _I think, gritting my teeth as I stare up the long stairs leading to the hospital.

_I hate these damn things- who puts stairs at a hospital? Shouldn't there be a wheelchair ramp or something? _I think with a scowl, cautiously placing my crutches on the first step.

_I don't even know why I bother- it's not like he's glad to see me or anything. _I think as my left leg quivers from the strain of lifting my body with no help from the right leg.

_Maybe I should just start sleeping in his room- that chair looked pretty comfy, and it's better then doing this stupid trek every day. _

I can't help but wonder what Ed will think if I stay so close. _Why do I even care what he thinks of me anyway? _I ask myself as I climb the third step, already feeling a thin sheet of sweat gather on my forehead.

_Three down, only about forty to go…_

OOO

When I finally reach the top about twenty minutes later I collapse onto a nearby bench, every limb trembling as I try to breathe, using my shirt to wipe the sweat off my face.

_I just can't do that again. _I think, cursing my weakness. For a minute I consider just lying here and not even going- the thought is painfully tempting.

_Pull yourself together! It's just a little pain, you've had worse! _I scold myself as I rise from the bench, clenching my jaw as I swing forward on my crutches, doing my best to ignore the pain in my leg.

I nod politely to the nurse at the front desk and she smiles in return- she knows where I'm going- she's offered me a wheelchair escort every day for the past three days but I've politely refused each time. I couldn't imagine anything worse then coming to see Ed and Al in a wheelchair.

Thankfully, Ed's room is on the first floor- that's my only lucky break on the trip here, but I'm grateful for it. I tap on the door with a crutch and poke my head in, doing my best to offer a smile. "Hey, how's the invalid?" I ask, setting my crutches down against the wall, keeping a poker face as I walk to his bed, even as my leg wobbles dangerously when I stop beside it.

"Sleeping." Al says, sounding relieved. I look over at him in amusement. "Painkillers?" I guess and he groans. "They're making him nuts!" He exclaims. I chuckle quietly as I sink down in the chair beside his bed, then smile warmly at Al. "Why don't you go? You've earned a break, and I'm probably better at dealing with our crazy little patient." I say, leaning back in the chair and picking up a magazine.

"I don't know- what if Brother wakes up and wants to see me?" Al asks anxiously. "I'll send for you if he does." I promise him. "Now go find some lost kitties in the street- I think I saw one on my way here…"

I didn't even need to finish the sentence- Al was already gone. I smile after him- it was so hard not to love Al.

_He's such a good kid._ I think with regret. _Whatever he did to lose his body, I'm sure he had no bad intentions. _

I turn my attention back to Ed, frowning. _I wish you would tell me what you did. I'm sure I would understand. _

OOO

As Al had aptly put it, the pain killers had made Ed, well, "nuts"- though I would have said "bat shit crazy".

Right now he was playing with a plastic fork, pretending it was an airplane before stabbing his food violently- I was sitting clear across the room, a bit worried for my personal safety.

"Die." Ed mutters, twisting his fork in whatever he was eating- he'd demolished it too much to tell anymore.

"You see kids; this is why you don't drugs." I mutter quietly to myself, turning a page of a medical journal I'd "borrowed"- I was going to put it back of course. Just… later.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SMALL?!" I blink in surprise as a fork finds its way into the wall a mere inch from my head.

Another effect of the morphine seemed to be severe paranoia- I could already see what kind of drunk Ed would be as he glares at me, his right eye twitching.

I look at him in mild amusement, but I'm not dumb enough to provoke him- he'd probably end up tearing something in his side again- not to mention there were plenty of sharp objects within his reach.

"I didn't say anything," I murmur, careful to avoid eye contact and clapping the book shut. "I'm going to go find a doctor." I say, standing up.

"Why?" Ed demands, then twitches. "Hold still, damn it!" I raise an eyebrow, genuinely concerned this time. "I haven't moved… Ed?"

_He's asleep?_ I think in surprise, staring at the suddenly slumped boy and then sigh in relief. _Well now I don't feel so guilty about leaving you for a bit- I need to go see about getting you morphine dose adjusted. _I think, picking up his chart and taking it with me.

I collect my crutches and wander down the hall, deciding I would stop the first nurse I see. Unfortunately, the first one I found looked a bit… stoned.

"Can I help you?" She drawled, leaning her head on one hand and looking at me tiredly. "Yeah, are you insane?" I ask, shoving Ed's chart under her nose. "This is _way_ too much for someone his size!" I exclaim. "Not to mention he's half metal! Are you out of your mind?!" I demand.

She just blinks slowly, then raises an eyebrow. "I'm not a doctor." She says flatly and I smack my face into my hand. This hurt quite a bit, considering the whole metal hand thing.

"Then get me Ed's doctor." I snarl and she sighs, picking up a phone. "Paging Dr. Moskovitz to the front desk." Her voice comes over the intercom, flat and emotionless. "He'll be with you shortly." She says, blinking slowly as she returns to her magazine.

_I have the feeling this is going to be a long wait._

OOO

Three hours later Ed had finally gotten his morphine dose lowered and I nearly had a restraining order taken out against me.

"Stupid doctors think they know everything." I think with a scowl as I slam Ed's hospital door, flopping down in my chair and glaring at the wall.

"Well that's an interesting thing for you to say." Ed remarks and I jump, glancing over at the oddly lucid alchemist in surprise.

"Where's Al?" Ed asks, glancing around the room and I shrug. "Out being the savior of cats everywhere." I reply and he smiles and shakes his head. "Of course."

He's silent for a moment while I flip through the medical journal, fascinated by some of the new medicines they've developed.

"Why are you here?" He asks suddenly and I don't look up. "Ah, one of man's biggest unsolved questions." I say importantly. "Mankind has been trying to solve it for thousands of years…"

"Shut up." Ed snaps. "You know what I mean."

I fall silent for a moment, wondering the same thing- a month ago I'd probably be out doing, well, anything but staying in Ed's hospital room all day.

"Because I feel guilty," I admit quietly. "I hate the fact you're in here because of me." I say, flushing scarlet and I duck my head down, allowing my hair to fall forward and shield my eyes.

"Hey, I was there by choice." Ed says and I glance up at his oddly serious face. "You shouldn't be feeling guilty about anything." He says firmly. I blink, fixated by the amber, cat-like eyes that catch and hold me like hypnotist's jewels- for a moment my mind goes blank.

"Hey guys!" Al says, bursting into the room. The spell is broken as Ed and I snap our heads around to Al, who is positively beaming. "Brother, guess what?!"

"What?" Ed doesn't seem affected by the weird moment earlier- I curse myself for staring at him, wanting to kick myself.

"I just talked to your doctor- he says you can go home tonight!" I smirk slightly as Ed heaves a huge sigh of relief, then looks confused. "Wait, I thought I had to stay the week."

I lean back in my chair, closing the medical journal and setting it on the desk beside me. "Well, I had a little talk with your doctor…"

Edward's eyebrows disappear into his hair. "You got me discharged? Why?"

I scowl. "Because I hate the walk up here. But, there's one condition." I add as Ed starts to get up. Ed suddenly looks worried. "And what would that be?" He asks warily.

"You get a babysitter."

**Author's Note:**

Oh poor Ed. He has to get babysat.

By MEMARIE

O.O

Oh dear Lord what have I done?

So yeah. Warning for next chapter- my fluff senses are tingling. I predict fluff next chapter.

*mildly horrified look* Drat. I was hoping to write ONE story with no fluff. Ah well. I can't work without fluff. No story's complete without it

:)

This was originally going to be a WAY longer chapter but if I didn't stop here it would have dragged on another ten pages and by then you'd have gotten bored with it.

So yeah. Next chapter will be up soon.

- LOSGAP =D


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:**

In this chapter I'm going to be focusing more on the budding relationship- I'm not like most authors who try and hide all relationships, I'll tell you straight from the get-go- I see no point in hiding it. It's kind of obvious anyway.

OK I'll stop rambling and let you read :D

LOSGAP =D

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_I hate what I've become_

_The nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel_

_Like a monster_

_("Monster", Skillet)_

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Dragging Ed back to Central was a lot trickier then I would have anticipated- first we had to calm him about the babysitting quip, then he tripped down those damn stairs and I had to fix his ankle.

To top it all off, Ed's morphine was wearing off and he was downright _stoned._

"OK. We're finally here." I say weakly as we come to Ed and Al's apartment. Al sighs with relief, holding Ed with one hand as he unlocks the door and holds it open for me. I toss him a tired grateful smile as I hobble in, hearing Ed snore softly as Al follows.

"So this is your place?" I ask, glancing around. Neat as a pin. For some reason I'd thought it would be a lot messier.

"Yeah. We're not here too often." Al admits as he starts heading to the bedroom. I follow him, grimacing as my tired legs tremble as I trail behind him.

It's in no way a large apartment- a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom and a living room were it- I was grateful for this, though- no stairs.

Al lays Ed gently in his bed, then turns to me.

"Are you going to spend the night here?" He asks, and I glance towards the window- it's nearly sundown. "Yeah, might as well." I shrug. "I'd like to keep an eye on him." I say.

"Well we've only got two beds- I don't need one, so you can sleep in here if you want." Al offers, nodding to the bed across the room.

"You sure?" I ask, sorely tempted- a couch would be murder on my leg. "Of course!" Al replies. "I'm never uncomfortable, and since I don't sleep I don't even need it." He explains as he starts walking to the door. "Do you want me to order dinner or something?" He asks and I smile slightly as I look back at him. "I'm fine, thanks- I'm just gonna head to bed." I say, stifling a yawn.

"OK. Night Memarie." He says, heading out the door. "Night Al." I reply, sinking down gratefully onto my borrowed bed.

_He's so sweet it almost hurts to be around him._ I think as I stretch out, not bothering to get under the covers as I close my eyes, letting out a tired sigh. I hadn't done very much physical work today, but pain is exhausting.

I'm out cold the instant my head hits the pillow, slipping into the dark warmth of sleep.

OOO

I blink open my eyes to blinding sunshine, hissing in annoyance at being pulled from my slumber as I sit up, scowling as I rub my eyes.

I look over to the clock on the wall and blink in surprise to see that it's eight- I'd thought it was a lot later.

I place my leg out carefully in front of me, balancing precariously on one leg as I straighten up, leaning heavily on my crutches as I swing over to Ed's bed, peering down at him.

He's still out cold- morphine tends to make you sleepy. I sigh as I go down to the kitchen, poking my head into the cupboards in search of food.

"Morning!" Al says cheerily and I squeak as I jump, banging my head into the top of the cabinet. I sigh. "Al, you know I love you, but _please_ don't do that." I grumble, pulling back and rubbing the top of my head.

"Who loves who?" We both turn in surprise as Ed wanders into the kitchen, rubbing his eye sleepily.

"You have no food in your cupboards." I say flatly, ignoring Ed's comment. "So?" Ed flops down at the kitchen table, resting his head on the scratched wooden surface. "We usually just eat out."

"Uh-uh. Not with me here. Al, come with me- we're going shopping. Ed, stay here and rest." I order, grabbing Al's hand and somehow managing to drag him even though I was on crutches out the door.

OOO

Al immediately struck me as the type who would make a good husband someday- he follows behind me patiently in the supermarket, holding the basket and even making suggestions about what we needed to get.

Of course everyone who saw us probably thought we were a couple- Al freaked out every time someone commented on how cute we were while I just laughed.

"Al, let them think what they want." I chuckle quietly as I place a carton of milk in the basket. Just to annoy Ed.

"They'll forget about it in ten seconds anyway." I add as I wander down the aisle, frowning thoughtfully at the items on sale. "But you're not my girlfriend! That'd be lying!" Al exclaims. I look over at him in amusement. "Want me to be your girlfriend for the day then?" I tease.

Even though it's probably impossible for a suit of armor, I think Al blushed.

"N-n-n-no!" He shakes his head and hands rapidly, sounding horrified. "That'd be wrong too! I know you like Ed-!"

He was cut off by the filthy look I gave him. "_Excuse_ me?" I snarl. Al's armor rattles as his knees start to shake. An old lady passing by giggles at the "lovers spat" she thinks she's witnessing.

"Who ever said I like Ed?!" I demand furiously. _Ed?!_ "I love him like a brother, if you think I love him in any way other then that you are _so _wrong." I snort as I swing down the aisle, Al hurrying to catch up.

"But- but when I saw you two the other night when you hurt your leg you looked…" He trails off and I turn to look at him, no longer angry, just curious. "Looked what?"

"…"

"Come on Al, you can tell me."

"…cute together."

For a moment my left eye seemed to develop a twitch before I collapsed to the ground, making Al cry out in horror before he realized I was laughing.

"Oh I wish Ed was here to hear that!" I roar with laughter, clutching my sides as I shake with silent mirth. I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed so hard. Everyone walking past probably thought I was having some kind of fit but I just couldn't stop laughing at the thought of Ed and I.

"Al," I giggle as I wipe away a tear, struggling to a sitting position. "I would sooner ask _Mustang_ out before I so much as winked in Ed's direction." I laugh as he helps me stand up.

"Yeah- I guess I was wrong." Al laughs. I grin up at him briefly before I start walking down the aisle again. "Come on- we've got a lot of stuff left to get."

OOO

"Ed, get the hell out of my kitchen!" I snap, wielding my spatula like a weapon as I glowered at the Full Metal Alchemist.

"_Your_ kitchen?!" Ed exclaims. "I live here!"

"Well I'm cooking, therefore it is my kitchen." I sniff, returning back to the stove. Two seconds later Ed was peering over my shoulder, inhaling deeply.

"What is _that_?" He asks, staring down at the pot. I thwack him with the spatula. "I said get out! I can't cook with you breathing all over the food!" I cry, chasing him out of the kitchen.

"Nosy little…" I mutter angrily, stirring the stew with an annoyed scowl.

I sigh, wiping a hand over my forehead to remove a sheen of sweat caused from the steam of the pot. "Well, Al says he likes stew so hopefully he'll eat more." I murmur to myself, tasting the contents of the pan and deciding it needed more salt.

Despite making what I thought had been a good breakfast this morning, Ed had barely managed a few eggs before being sick and retreating back to his bed- he wouldn't be very hungry for a while, the poor thing.

_I should have known the surgery would be a bad idea! He's reacting terribly to whatever shit they put in his system- if this keeps up much longer he'll be back in the hospital within a few days. _

I glance over my shoulder when I feel eyes boring in the back of my head and smile slightly as Ed's head disappears back behind the corner.

_Well I'm glad his energy's back at least. _I think, mildly amused- Ed was worse then a four year old when he smelled something interesting.

OOO

I sigh as I pinch the bridge of my nose, taking a deep, calming breath.

"Ed, for the last time, STOP WOLFING DOWN YOUR FOOD!" I snap, glaring daggers at the alchemist.

"I thought you wanted me to eat." Ed retorts, inhaling another large spoonful. "Yes but you're going to make yourself sick!" I protest. Ed snorts. "I am not gonna-!"

He cuts off and his face turns a sickly shade of green. Al and I both sweat drop as he leaps up and races over to the sink.

"Don't puke on the dishes." I sigh, rubbing my temples and closing my eyes. "I told you you'd make yourself sick." I mutter, pushing away my own bowl, losing my appetite by the sounds Ed was making in the kitchen.

"I'm going to bed." Ed mutters suddenly, stalking from the kitchen. I watch him go in silence, then sigh as I stand up and glance over at Al. "I'm going to run to the pharmacy and see if I can find something to settle his stomach." I say, stealing Ed's trench coat since I knew it was probably cold out.

"OK." Al nods. "If he sneaks out for more stew, give him some toast or something and send him back to bed." I say sternly. "Lord knows that boy is going to try to eat again in a little bit." I roll my eyes as I open the door and head outside.

OOO

When I come back an hour later with some tablets Al tells me Ed's already asleep- I nod tiredly, slipping out of the trench coat- it had been _cold _outside, but the biting cold in my face had distracted me from my leg.

"I'm just gonna head to bed too." I reply. Al looks at me in concern. "You've been going to bed really early lately," He remarks. "Are you getting sick or something?"

I pause for a moment, wondering if I should tell him about the leg. _Then he'll pity me, and if there's one thing I can't stand it's pity. _

"Yeah." I say after a moment. "Just a little cold, nothing to worry about." I say, walking down the hall.

"OK. Good night Memarie." Al says and I lift a hand, acknowledging him before I enter the bedroom, leaning over Ed's bed to check on him.

He's dead asleep, his flesh arm thrown over his eyes, his breathing deep and even. I shake my head at the blanket hanging off the edge of the bed, picking it up and tossing it over him gently.

_If you catch a cold I'll kill you._ I roll my eyes as I collapse onto my bed, curling under the covers and closing my eyes, letting out a long sigh as I slip into sleep.

OOO

_The metallic tang of blood hangs in the air, punctuated with the acrid scent of smoke as the flames flicker before my eyes, devouring all in sight. _

_I look around wildly, shocked to see myself lying on the ground, eyes blank and staring ahead at nothing, watching helplessly as the fire reaches for my body. I feel as though I'm floating above everything, watching as my body burns and crumbles into itself like burning paper._

_I scream for it to stop, for it to end as the fire engulfs my vision, blinding me and encasing my world in flames._

OOO

I jerk awake, staring wildly ahead and trying to breathe. For a moment I can't remember where I am or how I woke up until my eyes finally land on a concerned face.

"You OK? You were screaming." Ed's face is a mixture of tiredness, worry and annoyance as he looks back at me.

"It was just a nightmare." I whisper to myself, reaching up a trembling hand to push back a sweat-soaked strand of hair from my face as I struggle to sit up. I can still smell the smoke, can still see those awful, dead eyes…

Ed stiffens in surprise as I lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as I just try to forget. Ed doesn't move as I wrap my arms around him, holding myself close to him and inhaling the scent of him- he smells so human, so _alive_. So unlike that girl in my nightmare.

"Hey, it's OK." Ed says awkwardly, cautiously putting a hand on my back and stroking my hair. "It was just a nightmare."

"Just a nightmare." I repeat, hearing my voice shake as I pull back, wiping a hand over my eyes even though I know I'm not crying. I haven't cried in years.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, surprisingly gentle and I smile weakly. "You're too nice." I laugh harshly as I wipe my arm across my forehead, hating the itchy feel of sweat.

"How am I nice?" Ed raises an eyebrow. "You woke me up." I reply simply as I lie back down again. "Go back to bed." I say, rolling over so he can't see my blush as I stare at the wall.

"OK." I can practically hear him shrug as he stands up and wanders back to his bed. "Night." I don't reply, pretending to already be asleep.

_Ugh, what if Al was right after all?_

OOO

**Author's Note:**

:)

I love couple fluff. Especially comfort couple fluff.

Why does the girl ALWAYS figure out what they're feeling first?

Guess it just proves we're the smarter gender :D

For the record, I don't think Memarie has it exactly figured it out though- she's pretty smart though, she'll figure it out before long.

Hmm. Was the nightmare _really_ just a nightmare or was it a memory? You can decide for yourself on that one :)

Next chapter will most likely have Winry in it- unless Ed decides to get himself hit by a train or something. You never know with that unpredictable midget.

LOSGAP =D

6


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:**

Well this is my first attempt at Winry and Pinako, so I may fail miserably. Tell me if I do, ne? In a nice way though :)

I know this is a REALLY long chapter, but the next one will be shorter, I promise.

Well, enjoy! :D

LOSGAP =D

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_And this is who I am when_

_When I don't know myself_

_Anymore_

_This is what I choose when_

_It's all left up to me._

"_Breathe Into Me", Red._

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Finally. _I think in relief as I sink down onto the train bench, scooting over to the window as Ed slides in next to me, Al sitting down across from us.

"So we're off to Winry's then?" I ask as the train starts to move, unconsciously moving a hand to my thigh as with a jolt the train starts to pick up speed.

"Yeah." Ed crosses his arms behind his head and leans back in his seat, closing his eyes and sighing. "She's gonna kill us all." He grimaces and I nod in silent agreement.

"Well it's better then hobbling around or using just one hand for everything." I point out, glancing at his missing hand reflexively. He scowls. "She's gonna give me grief about that." He says, holding up the stump and glaring at it, as though blaming it for the hand falling off. Looking closely, I could see a nick in the metal- he'd probably taken a bullet to the wrist and hadn't noticed.

"She's going to give us grief for everything." I reply. "Me sticking my neck out for you, you being a total moron and getting yourself shot…"

"Hey, how was that being a moron?!" Ed protests furiously. I raise an eyebrow. "You took a bullet for a useless old girl like me- therefore it was moronic." He glares at me and I glare right back.

"Wait," Al says suddenly. "Ed, you took a bullet for her?" We both glance over at him, I suddenly realizing Al has no clue what happened that night.

I look out the window, not offering a reply- Ed stares at the table, mumbling a response. "What?" Al leans forward, and I wonder suddenly if his hearing is just as good as a human even though he has no ears- it was definitely something to think about.

I tune out Ed's response as I stare out the window, watching the world fly by, unable to pick out a single detail in the blur of twilight's muted colors. "Wow." Al sounds surprised. "So _that's_ why you two have been acting so funny lately." He says and I turn to him in surprise. "What?" Ed and I demand in unison. "How have we been acting funny?!" We both glare at each other, annoyed when we spoke at the same time.

"I don't know." Al shrugs. "Just different. You haven't been fighting as much." He points out. "I won't pick a fight with a patient of mine." I snort, crossing my arms.

"How am I your patient?!" Ed demands. "Hey, don't forget I saved your life, I took care of you while you got better, and I kept those dumb ass doctors from frying your brain." I say smugly. Ed scowls at me. "But I saved your life first." He points out haughtily. "I _own_ you now."

Al groans as Ed and I launch into another battle, neither of us willing to admit we owed the other something. "I should have just kept my mouth shut." He moans.

OOO

When we come to a long road, Ed marches off happily with Al at his side while I stare down it in horror. It's _endless._

"You coming?" Ed asks, pausing and glancing over his shoulder. I bite my lip. "Yeah." I say after a moment. "I'm coming."

Ed and Al wait for me to catch up and I walk in between them, keeping a wary eye out for stones and bumps in the road, not trying to keep up a conversation. It was just as well- Ed and Al both seemed lost in their own little worlds, staring around the landscape.

"Are you ok Memarie?" Al asks abruptly after a short while and I blink in surprise, lifting my head to glance up at him. "I'm fine." I grunt just as my right crutch lands on a loose stone.

Al somehow manages to catch me as I pitch forward, gasping in pain at the searing pain exploding in my thigh. For a moment I saw stars.

"No you're not." Al says sternly and suddenly, I'm airborne.

I let out a genuinely scared shriek and wave my arms in the air as I find myself seven feet off the ground. "PUT ME DOWN DAMN IT!"

Ed looks up in amusement as Al calmly hoists me onto my back as I stare around fearfully, completely unused to being so high.

"I thought you weren't afraid of anything." Ed smirks, reminding me of one of the first things I had said to him. It felt like an eternity ago. I scowl down at him. "I've never been up this high." I hiss. "I'm uncomfortable, not afraid." I lie blatantly.

"Liar." Ed calls my bluff and I roll my eyes, not offering a response. "It's better then walking." Al says as he moves off and I squeak, my arms, wrapped under his, tightening to the point that if he'd been human I probably would have snapped both his shoulder blades. Al chuckles.

"Like I've told you before," He said. "It's OK to be scared."

"I'm not scared." I say stubbornly, turning my head away from Ed's smug smirk and shutting my eyes tight.

Once I got over the mind-numbing terror of being up in the air, the even rhythm of Al's footsteps almost became soothing, the gentle murmur of the wind around me a quiet lullaby as I slowly relaxed my grip on Al's arms, slipping into sleep.

OOO

I jerk awake to sound of screaming and cursing.

"ED! YOU JERK! I TOLD YOU TO CALL BEFORE YOU CAME!"

I growl deep in my throat and turn my head, rubbing my cheek where I can feel a dent was left from Al's armor and stare blearily ahead. "Wha…? Oh. Winry. Hello." I lift a hand in a sleepy wave when I noticed Winry and Ed facing off, Ed with a rather wrench-shaped bruise on his cheek.

For a moment Winry just stared at me. "Memarie?" Her voice was shocked. I grin. "The one and only." I reply, attempting to slip off Al and my still-asleep legs decided to betray me, letting me fall flat on my back in the dirt.

"Well, that's an impressive entrance." I remark. "Little help Al?" I hold out a hand straight in the air and Al happily helps me to my feet, handing me my crutches so I can lean on them while I look at Winry.

Her face, once wide open with shock was now closed and angry. "Your leg." She said flatly. "You broke it, didn't you?"

I was suddenly very, very afraid. I'd forgotten just how horrible Winry could be in her wrath.

"Hell hath no wrath like a mechanic scorned." I mutter, earning a snicker from Ed and a glare from Winry.

"I have half a mind to beat your head in." Winry's voice shook with rage, tightening around the wrench in her hand. Al and Ed took a step back.

"But I'm just so glad to see you!" I was suddenly bowled over in rather over-excited mechanic love, smothered in her apparent glee. "I've missed you like crazy!" She squeals.

"Missed you too." My voice came out faint and she pulled up, looking down in concern. "You ok?"

It was hard to gather my words- the pain in my leg, which she was currently bending the _really_ wrong way, was stealing my breath away.

"Memarie? Quit zoning out!" Winry snapped. "Uh Winry I think you're hurting her…" Al says worriedly and Winry immediately hopped off. "Why didn't you say so?" She demands, offering me a hand. After a long moment I take it, closing my eyes tight as I return my leg to the right position- Winry's eyes widen at the audible _crack_ with which it straightens.

"I think we should skip the greetings and go look at your auto mail." She says, eyeing my leg and I nod tightly, following her on unsteady legs to the house, Ed and Al close behind.

OOO

I sat on Winry's examination table of sorts in a pair of shorts I'd borrowed from her, watching her examine my leg with a worried expression.

"I don't know how you haven't sawed off your leg by now." She shook her head and I chuckle. "It's been tempting." I admit and Ed gives me a hard look but didn't say anything. I raise an eyebrow at him but don't press it, turning my attention back to Winry.

"Well, I'm glad you came in- you've overdue for replacement auto mail, this is all way too short. And as for this leg," She tapped my injured leg and I wince. "The metal's so warped right here it's pinching a nerve every time you move it, sometimes several- you've gotta be in _agony_!" She exclaims. "We'll get this off right away." She assures me, hurrying to go get her tool box.

Ed stands up and I look over in surprise as he glares at me. "Agony?" He repeats, sounding livid. "Why didn't you tell me?" He demands.

I raise my eyebrows. "Since when do you care about whether or not I'm in pain?" I ask, completely confused by his behavior. He's almost trembling now. "Of course I care!" He snaps. "I'm your friend, damn it, and I can't believe you came to the hospital every damn day when you were hurting this bad!"

His concern about my well-being was both touching and infuriating, but at this moment it was mostly the latter.

"I came because I wanted to see you!" I snap back at him. "Did you think I was just going to lie around in bed all day while you were in the hospital?!" I snarl. "Like you just said, we're friends! Friends don't abandon each other because of something as stupid as a sore leg!" I felt like throwing something at Ed to make him understand. He looked like he was thinking the exact same thing. Finally he just turned and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Al, the only one left in the room, gave me a bewildered look before he finally decided to follow his brother and I was left alone, seething with rage and wondering why tears were spilling onto my clenched fists.

OOO

I did something completely out of character after Ed and Al left.

I told someone how I felt.

"A-and he just drives me so crazy sometimes!" I exclaim and Winry nods, smiling slightly to herself as she finally undoes the last screw and removes my leg. I let out a relieved sigh and close my eyes, unable to express my relief.

"Better?" Winry asks, leaning back and looking at me with more then just a little concern. I smile back at her, though my lips tremble. "A lot." I admit. "Not just about the leg." She adds, and I nod. "I know."

She's silent for a minute as she goes to work on the other one, before she finally says. "He'll get over it."

I glance at her, trying to hide the hope in my voice. "You think so?"

"I know so." Her smile grows soft, her eyes distant. "We've fought a lot, usually over dumb things, kinda like this." She laughs quietly, picking up a screw she's undone and setting it aside. "He tends to overreact, but I think you know that by now." She grins and I laugh, furious at how it catches in my throat. "I think we have that in common." I say, wiping away a stray tear. "Damn it I don't even know why I'm crying." I scowl. Angry, hot tears kept leaking out of the corners of my eyes, making me angrier and increasing the problem- I hadn't cried in years, but the first time Ed seemed genuinely furious with me I was reduced to this.

Damn that midget.

"Ed has that effect on people." Winry says wisely. "Especially us girls." I frown down at her, suddenly wary. _If she pulls an Al and accuses me of liking him…_

"He's just too soft-hearted for his own good sometimes." She chuckles quietly. "He just doesn't know how to show he cares though, and it tends to backfire like this."

_She's in love with him._ I realize as she works, a small smile on her face as she continues talking about Ed. Suddenly I felt dirty. Like somehow I was trespassing, stealing away a man she obviously cared deeply for.

_Wait, what am I talking about?_ I thought in surprise._ I don't even like that little pipsqueak. It'll be fine. At least Ed's lucky enough to have a girl like Winry who cares about him. _

OOO

Pinako came home just in time to help Winry and I with dinner- the little old woman looked at me calmly before telling me to hand her the spatula, since I was apparently ruining the food.

_Nothing fazes her._ I think in admiration, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. I adored Pinako. She was like the grandmother I'd never had.

I hear the door open and shut and stiffen, the pan in front of me suddenly very interesting as I hear the unmistakable sound of armor stepping into the room, followed by much lighter footsteps. They brought the scent of rain with them.

"Edward and Alphonse! You're getting mud all over the floor!" Pinako snaps, not even looking up. I hear a short apology and retreating footsteps before the slam of a door. Ed and Al must have left the room.

"Babies." Winry sighs. "I'll go see about his hand." She said, leaving the kitchen. "I'll clean off the mud before it dries." I say, sighing as I grab a towel and kneel over the mess in front of the door, relieved to see at least Ed had removed his boots before tracking it all over the house.

"Idiot." I scowl as I scrub the already drying mud, taking out my anger on the floor.

"Keep that up and you're going to dig a hole in the floor." Pinako says and I blink, realizing I've been scrubbing the same place spotless for a while. "Sorry." I mutter, moving on to another spot.

"You and Ed fighting?" Pinako asks after a while and I sigh. "Yeah." I say shortly, hoping she'd leave it at that.

"When did you three start traveling together?" She questions and I frown thoughtfully. "Um a few months ago." I say finally, and she chuckles quietly. "I never would have thought you three would end up together." She says, sounding faintly amused.

"You're a military dog now?" She asks and I nod tightly, forgetting she had her back to me. She must have taken my silence as a yes because she sighs. "Never would have thought that would happen either." This time she sounds regretful.

Maybe that was one of the reasons I loved Pinako so much. I'd told her everything- she's the only person never to judge me for what I have done. Even Winry doesn't know.

"Have you told them?" She asks softly and I stiffen. "No." I say flatly. "I don't plan on it." I grunt, attacking a stubborn scuff mark.

"They deserve to know." She says as I straighten, done with the task. I turn to her, not sure what to say when she suddenly bawls over her shoulder. "Supper's ready!"

There's a bang from the next room and a loud curse from Winry- Ed had probably tried to leave in the middle of her working. I snort with laughter as I help Pinako set the table, feeling a little of my anger at him leaving. It was so hard to stay mad at him.

OOO

After a very awkward, quiet dinner, we sat in silence at the dinner table, Winry and I clearing the table as Pinako smoked her pipe. Winry and I notice something at the same time and we both froze, our expressions turning from neutral to evil in a second.

"Edward." We both say calmly, and Ed stiffens. "You didn't drink your milk."

I'd never seen Ed look so terrified.

"You get the milk," I say calmly to Winry. "I'll wrangle the midget."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE RIDES ON THE BACK OF A GRASSHOPPER?!" Ed shrieks as I tackle him, knocking him to the floor and sitting on his chest, smirking down at him happily.

"Now Ed, remember what I did last time?" I ask as Winry comes up by his head, her eyes flashing. "Maybe the words 'holy friggin' shit it BURNS' refreshes your memory?" I smile sweetly and he shudders.

"What did you do to him last time?" Winry asks and I smirk at the memory. "Dumped it down his pants." I shrug nonchalantly. She grins. "I like that idea. Let's do it!"

OOO

Well, needless to say, Ed hated both of us for a while after that.

It gave Winry and I some more girl time though while she examined my arms, both of us talking about nothing in particular. It was good to have a girl to talk to again. I missed the easy closeness and bond all teenage girls share- Winry and I had bonded when I'd first met her, and I hadn't realized just how much I missed her.

"When are you going to leave?" Winry asks, remembering last time. I flinch at the misery in her voice. She knew I couldn't stay long. "Probably right after I get my auto-mail." I admit quietly. "I'm sorry, Winry."

Her smile grows soft. "Just like last time?" She asks and I shake my heard urgently. "Of course not. I'll say goodbye this time." I promise her. "Good. Because if you don't I'll track you done and wrench you." She says seriously and I laugh.

OOO

"Man I hate these new legs." I scowl as I walk around unsteadily on the grass, a displeased frown upon my face. "It's like walking on stilts."

Den, my only audience, whines once and thumps his tail on the grass, panting happily. I flop down in the grass beside him, scratching him behind the ears. "You're such a good boy." I croon, and Den rolls over and begs for a belly rub, wriggling around on the grass.

"I wouldn't have pegged you as a dog person." I jump as Ed comes up behind me, my entire body reacting to his presence. Every nerve seemed to pin-point his exact location as the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up and my muscles tensed.

I don't respond, and Den whines softly, reacting to the tension in the air. Ed clears his throat. "Uh Pinako said she needed some stuff from the market and asked me to go- you want to come?"

"Why? Do you want me to come?" I reply, watching as Den stands up and shakes himself, glancing between us with worried eyes.

Ed's silent, and after a moment I roll my eyes, turning toward him. "I'll come, but only because I'm bored out of my ever-loving mind. Doesn't mean I forgive you for blowing up at me yesterday." I say warningly, falling into step beside him. He scowls at me. "You blew up at me too." He snorts.

"Self-defense!" I protest. "You were the one who just started attacking me for no reason." I say, glaring at the ground.

"I had a reason!" Ed snaps. "You were being an idiot." I stop dead and turn to stare at him. "Call me an idiot one more time. I dare you." I growl, crossing my arms and glowering at him. Ed gulps and avoids my eyes, hurrying on down the road.

"Let's just forget yesterday ever happened." He mutters after a tense minute of silence. "OK?"

"Calling a truce?" I ask after a moment, eyeing him warily. Well, he wasn't saying sorry, but at least I didn't have to apologize. After all, I wasn't wrong. "Yeah. Truce. Whatever." He shrugs, holding out a hand. After a moment I shake it, still not too happy with him.

"So where's Al?" I ask after a minute and a shadow flickers in Ed's eyes. "Visiting our mom." He says quietly and I almost regret asking. "Oh." I look away, knowing not to press. It was clear Ed's past was a touchy subject, and I could relate. Besides, digging into his past would make him want to dig into mine.

I want to ask if he's going to visit her, but maybe he already has- while he and Al disappeared yesterday, maybe they went to her grave? I wasn't going to ask.

"How's your leg?" Ed asks suddenly, distracting me from my thoughts. "It's fine now that my auto-mail's gone." I reply. It wasn't the whole truth, I was still a bit sore, but it would probably be fine by the time we got back to Central.

Ed nods and we walk in silence a bit longer; I can see the beginnings of a small town in the distance.

"I need to get some things in town too, so I'm glad we came." I say as Ed lifts his head a bit higher, seeing the town also. "What are you getting? Doctor… things?" He asks, hesitating at the end. I laugh at that. "Though I don't call them 'doctor things', yes, that's what I need. I need to change your bandage again tonight." I point out and he grimaces. "Again? Can't I just do it myself?" He mutters, scowling. He hated it, though it only took a minute and was pretty painless.

"No." I say firmly. "You'd probably give yourself toxic shock with the medication or rip a stitch out, with your luck."

"No I wouldn't!" Ed protests, and I roll my eyes. "Sure you wouldn't." I reply as we pass the first store, a barbershop. "OK I'll go get my things, you go get what Pinako needs and we'll meet here, ok?" I ask, coming to a halt. He nods and wanders off, his hands in his pockets. I watch him go, aware of the slight smile crossing my features. At least we weren't fighting anymore- besides, a truce was probably the closest to an apology I would ever get from Ed.

OOO

"Ed! ED! Look what I got!" I wave my bag in the air with excitement, bouncing in place. Ed looks worried as I skip over to him, an excited grin plastered on my face. "The pharmacy here is amazing! I thought since this was such a little town it would have crap but it turns out they have some awesome stuff! Look!" I rummage through my bag and pull out a small black leather case, rather like an eyeglass case. Ed gave me a long look. "I give up. What is it?" He finally says. "A syringe case!" I practically squeal, flipping it open and revealing a brand-new syringe. Ed takes a step back.

"Oh, just look at the neatly printed measurements, the shine of the needle, and the gleaming rubber of the plunger!" I gush, admiring it in the sun.

"You're insane." Ed shook his head as he wanders off, I trotting along happily just behind him. "But look! I got lots of other neat stuff too!" I say, carefully putting it away. "Though I must say the syringe is the highlight of the trip. It's perfect traveling size."

"Why the hell are you taking a syringe with you?" Ed asks, giving me a wary look. "You never know when you'll need one." I reply mysteriously. "Besides, with the neat little case I won't accidentally stab myself." I say and Ed raises his eyebrows. "You mean you've carried around one before?" He demands in disbelief. "Maybe." I reply with a shrug, swinging the bag happily at my side.

Ed just shakes his head.

OOO

"So you're still doing the doctor thing?" Winry asks as I drag Ed to the living room, insisting he let me demonstrate for Winry.

"Of course." I reply. "Allow me to demonstrate the art of restraining an unruly patient." I say, tossing Ed onto the couch. "AL! Come sit on your brother!" I bawl over my shoulder and Al appears.

"I don't need restraining." Ed scowls, shooing away his brother, who just looks amused and sits down precariously on the arm of the couch as I sit down next to Ed. "Take off your shirt."

Ed, looking annoyed and a little embarrassed, obeys, revealing the large bandage on his side. "Just a scratch." I assure Winry before she can bash our heads together or something.

"Yup! Just a scratch!" Ed chuckles somewhat nervously and Winry's expression darkens, but at least she doesn't assault us as I carefully peel away the bandage, lowering my head to examine it.

"So what are you doing now?" Winry asks, leaning over my shoulder as we both violate Ed's personal bubble, our heads bent close a few inches from his side. Al giggles at the sight of this but is silenced by Ed's dirty look.

"Checking for infection." I say, poking the flesh on the side of the stitches. "Does that hurt?" Ed shakes his head, staring unhappily at the ground between his feet. "Hurry it up." He grumbles.

"All right Mr. Cranky Pants." I mutter, pulling out the peroxide and a cotton pad, dabbing a small amount on it as I carefully clean off the long line running down Ed's side.

"How did he get that anyway?" Winry asks, tilting her head curiously. "Oh you know. He's a klutz." I say absentmindedly, careful not to apply too much of the stinging liquid, seeing no point in hurting Ed.

"It doesn't matter if Ed gets hurt anymore," Al says, preventing Winry from pursuing the subject. I flash him a grateful look as he presses on. "Memarie can heal him, just like that." He says and Winry brightens. "Really?" She asks eagerly. "I mean I remember you saying you could heal yourself but I always thought it was just simple doctor stuff. Do you use alchemy then?" Winry sounds fascinated. An understanding look crosses Ed's face and I wonder about it, but don't ask as I apply the new bandage. "Yeah, I do." I reply,

patting it in place and pulling back. "All better." I say as he pulls his shirt back on.

"Here, I'll show you." I say, clapping my hands and passing it over my index finger, transmuting a small blade. "What are you doing?" Winry asks nervously as I pull my shirt up. "Relax." I say, not flinching as the blade flashes over my stomach. Ed flinches though at the line of fresh blood welling up as I clap my hands again.

"Watch." I say, glancing at Winry as I press my hands to the cut, neatly knitting together the broken skin and blood vessels.

"You see the key is," I say as the room is suddenly bathed in the blue glow of alchemy, "that you have to know what a body is made of. Like if Ed tried to do this he'd hurt himself, because he doesn't know what he's putting back together. But since I've been studying medicine for years I know exactly where these veins are, where they lead, and what composes my skin- he could tell you what a human body is made out of, component wise, but he can't tell you the shape of a skin cell, the exact pigment of blood, etc." I say as I pull my hands back, revealing the freshly healed skin.

"She's right." Ed admits. "We know exactly what makes up a human body." Al puts in, his voice sounding a bit melancholy. "But not how to fix one." Ed finishes quietly.

The air in the room became thick and profound, almost tangible; I felt suddenly heavy, as though I couldn't lift a finger if I tried.

"I'm gonna get some air." I say, clearing my throat awkwardly as I stood up to leave, quietly shutting the door behind me and breathing the crisp air in deeply, closing my eyes.

I hated it when the brothers suddenly got like that, but with Winry in the room, it was worse- somehow I knew that she knew their secret. For some reason seeing an understanding look pass between her and Ed made me feel like I was suffocating.

"Beautiful sunset." Pinako comments and I open my eyes again, seeing her standing by the staircase, smoking her pipe, Den by her side.

"It is." I agree as I came up beside her, running a hand over Den's head. "I'm going to take a walk, in case anyone asks." I say, heading down the steps. "All right. Take care." Pinako says and I lift a hand in a wave, acknowledging her silently as I walk down the dusty road.

OOO

I don't know where I'm headed, only that I keep walking, wanting out of that stuffy house and away from the Elric's troubles.

But I couldn't shake them off so easily; they clung to my mind like cobwebs, always there, always wanting to be examined and revealed for what they really were.

_What happened to those boys? _I wonder as the dust turns to grass, then to sand and suddenly I'm staring at my reflection in a river.

"What happened?" I whisper to my reflection. She offers no response, looking back up at me helplessly. I look up at the sky in front of me, seeing the beginning of nightfall directly in front of me, inky black smudged against brilliant red with a few stars scattered across the horizon.

"Do you really want to know?" I watch my reflection stiffen in surprise before I turn to face Ed, wondering why he came after me.

From where he's standing, the sun is framing him, encasing him in a golden glow so that it was almost hard to look at him. We stood there, two opposites, one with the night behind them, the other with the sun. I couldn't help but think it was fitting, him with his bright eyes, and I with my shadows.

"I said, do you want to know?" He repeats, his gaze serious. I swallow hard, then nod. "Yes." I say quietly.

Unexpectedly, he comes towards me, step by step until he is at my side, staring off at the night, watching it approach. His eyes have ghosts in them again.

"When Al and I were kids, a plague came through here." He says quietly. "Our mom died from it." He doesn't look at me, doesn't pause to wait for me to comfort him, but keeps going. "All we wanted was to see her smile again." I can barely hear him, but when he finishes I suck in a breath, realizing what must have happened.

_No…_

He turns towards me finally. "We tried to bring her back from the grave." His eyes were like golden ice, fixing me with a hard look, waiting for me to judge him. "We committed the taboo. Human transmutation.

"But we failed. Al lost his body, and I lost my leg." He looks away again, back towards the approaching darkness. "I sacrificed my arm and bound his soul to a suit of armor." He lets out a quiet sigh. "That's why we want the Stone. We want our bodies back to normal." He turns towards me again, but his eyes are different. The ice had melted slightly, and I could glimpse the warmth underneath again.

"Ed…" I shook my head. "I wish I knew what to say." I really, really wished I did. What could I say? "Sorry for your loss?" "Sorry you committed a taboo?" Edward didn't want apologies.

"Don't say anything." Ed shrugs. "But now you have to tell me what _really_ happened to your limbs." He says, and I stiffen. "I don't buy that was just an accident. You can do alchemy without a transmutation circle, and I only know one other person then me who can do that."

His gaze isn't accusing, nor is it pitying, just sympathetic. He knew. "You broke the taboo too, didn't you?"

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Gah I know, evil cliffie.

Well all I can say really is the next chapter will be up soon, so don't kill me!!! *flees*

LOSGAP =D


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:**

OK I'm aware you all hate me, but I added LOTS of fluff to this chapter! Lots of mushy romance, to the point I'm rather annoyed with how this chapter came out, but it'll make you guys happy so why not post it?

Enjoy the chapter and please review! :D

LOSGAP =D

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_We lived our lives in our paradise_

_As gods we shaped the world around._

_No borderlines we'd stay behind._

_Though balance is something fragile._

_While we thought we were gaining_

_We would turn back the tide_

_It still slips away_

_Our time has run out,_

_Our future has died,_

_There's no more escape._

"_Forsaken", Within Temptation._

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"_But now you have to tell me what really happened to your limbs." He says, and I stiffen. "I don't buy that was just an accident. You can do alchemy without a transmutation circle, and I only know one other person then me who can do that." _

_His gaze isn't accusing, nor is it pitying, just sympathetic. He knew. "You broke the taboo too, didn't you?"_

I stare at him in silence for a long time, debating whether I should tell him or not.

_Go ahead._ The voice, ever-present in my mind, is gentle for once. _You can trust him. He won't hate you. _

I swallow hard and sit down on the river bank, drawing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them, resting my chin on my legs as I stare out across the river. After a moment, Ed does the same, sitting down quietly beside me, patiently waiting for me to start.

"Where do I begin?" I laugh bitterly. "Every way I think of starting this sob story just leads to more questions I'm not ready for you to ask." I say honestly, glancing at him. "But you deserve the truth." I say, looking away again. Thunder rumbled ominously in the distance, and I could see menacing storm clouds crouched on the horizon, approaching like dark soldiers. As though they had sensed the story and had come to listen.

"When I was a kid," I say quietly. "I lost my sister in an accidental shooting." Ed sucks in his breath, his eyes flashing with pain as he turns to me, looking like he wanted to say something. "The war in Ishval had come close to home." I say before he can speak. "She was killed by a stray bullet."

The last time those words had left me a burning fury raced through my veins, clenching my fists and grinding my teeth at the thought of losing her to an accident. Just another innocent casualty.

But now the words seemed to echo deep within my hollow heart, the words plucking at long-dead heartstrings and earning no reply.

"Her name was Tara," I say softly. "And she was my twin." At the sound of her name something long asleep stirred within, a spark of life in my cold spirit. After all this time, I still respond to her name.

"Twin?" Ed repeats in shock, then looks like he wished he hadn't interrupted. "Yes." I reply, offering him a tiny smile to assure him it was ok. I look away again, unbidden memories fluttering deep within my mind.

"I was the older twin," I say, and something cracked. "I should have been able to protect her." I clench my jaw. "I should have been able to bring her back."

Edward doesn't speak. He knew. "I studied for years." I whisper. "I was so sure I could do it. I was in the medical business, after all. My parents had taught me so much; I thought creating a life would be easy."

I look down at darkening waters. "I was wrong. I was so, so wrong."

"The night I attempted to revive her it rained. I remember because the thunder seemed to encourage me, the lightning felt like it was shocking my heart; I felt all-powerful." I remembered the feeling, as though I could control anything. The pile of human components in front of me and the circle it rested on was all I needed to bring my sister home.

"As soon as I touched the circle I knew something was wrong. I was terrified." I close my eyes, but the darkness pressed against my lids, refusing to be closed out as the nightmare replayed itself. "And then," My voice was hardly audible anymore. "I saw the Gate."

It was hard to go on after that; the long black arms of the Gate were around me again, laughing at my foolishness, jeering at me, calling out Tara's name in a mocking rendition of my voice.

"When I came back from the gate, my arm was gone." I didn't notice, but my hand was gripping my right arm tightly, as though my body remembered the loss. "I saw a… _thing_… in the center of the circle."

How could that gasping, writhing thing be my sister? One look at it had filled me with terror.

"But I was so close." I whisper. "So I tried again."

Ed's eyes flew wide open with shock. I bow my head, a tremor running through my body. "And again." I whisper. "And again. Until I had nothing left to give but my life. But by then, I wished for death." I close my eyes, remembering what the final result had been. A shiver of pure horror ripples through me. That monster hadn't been Tara. It hadn't been human.

"I would have given my life," I admit. "But I passed out from the blood loss before I could. Besides, how could I do anything? I had no arms." I say bitterly.

Edward was silent for a moment, his eyes wide and horrified. "How did you survive?" He asks finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I was saved." I say quietly. "Though I didn't deserve it, though I had broken the taboo, that idiot kept me from bleeding to death and destroyed the monster." Ed stared at me. "Who was it?" He asks finally and I smile slightly. "That man," I say finally. "Was Maes Hughes."

Edward stared at me in open shock. "H-Hughes?!" He exclaims, stunned. I nod, avoiding his gaze. "What was he doing there?!" Ed blurts out. "Why was the military at your home? Why would a soldier save you instead of just letting you die?" He demands. I smile sadly at him. "Because Hughes wasn't just a soldier," I say quietly. "He was my uncle."

OOO

Edward paled noticeably. "Your uncle?" He repeats. I nod. "Technically he was my godfather too. After my parents died, he came to take me home with him. I didn't know he was coming, or I would have tried to bring Tara back before he came." I admit. "If he hadn't come though I would have died." I bow my head. Deep in my heart I wished he had left me for dead. I sure as hell don't deserve to live, not after what I've done.

Edward was silent for so long I started to get concerned. A surprisingly strong part of me ached for him to speak; when I heard his voice, I could forget about the monsters for a moment. And right now the monsters were overwhelming, as though speaking of them had raised them from the dead and now they had sunk their fangs in, ebbing away at my strength.

"I can't imagine," Ed says finally and I raise my head, feeling the monster's grip loosen. "The love it would have taken to go back to the Gate again and again." He looks at me with something like awe. "I don't know if I could have done it." He admits. "I know you would have." I reply firmly. "If it was Alphonse, I know you would give your life without a second thought."

He just blinks and looks away, and I see him swallow hard. I want to make a sarcastic comment, something to lighten the mood, but the darkness is too oppressive to lighten with a simple remark.

"Thank you." I say finally and he turns to me in surprise. "For listening." I say, turning to him.

_And for not looking at me like I was a monster. For knowing I did it out of love. _

Ed just smiles slightly at me, not speaking. A drop of moisture runs down my cheek and for a shocking moment I think I'm crying, but then another runs down my forehead and I look up as one splashes onto my cheek.

"It's raining." I say flatly. Ed looks up too, and we watch the rain come down in silence.

Somewhere deep in my heart I couldn't help but think the clouds were crying for us.

OOO

When we come back I can almost smell the tension in the air from Al and Winry- they didn't seem angry, just concerned and strained. It was plain to both Ed and I they wanted to know why we had been gone so long and what we had done, but they didn't ask and we offered them nothing.

"How's the hand coming along?" Ed asks hopefully at dinner, and Winry frowns at him briefly. She'd always gotten mad at me when I showed any signs of impatience too. "It's coming along fine, should be done soon. Memarie has first priority though." She says flatly and I could almost see the arrow sticking out of Ed's chest.

I suppress a snicker as Ed glares at her. "Why does she get special treatment?!" He exclaims. "Because she needs four new limbs!" Winry snaps. "That's more important then a hand!"

They start bickering and I sigh, rubbing my temples and closing my eyes. I felt a random flash of relief that Winry had agreed to let me keep my arms for a while, until she repaired my legs at least- I wasn't looking forward to having no arms for a few days.

"…I haven't slept in days and you're acting like a spoiled brat!" Winry was ranting as I returned my attention to the argument. Across the table from me, Al was bearing a long-suffering look, a small sweat drop sliding down his head. Pinako just smoked her pipe in silence, watching with a calm, mildly amused expression.

"I'm going to bed." I announce, standing up and pushing my chair in. Ed looks up at me, the only one acknowledging my leaving. For a moment he looks sad, as though he's remembering our conversation- I offer him a tiny smile. _I'm fine._ I thought at him, wishing he could hear me as I turn and head up to bed, yawning widely as I slip up to the room Winry and I shared.

OOO

**Author's Note:**

OK we are going to be trying something new here folks, so bear with me for a bit. I'm going to be switching to third person, from Edward's point of view.

Why?

Because I want to show Ed's side of things, and I don't feel like first person suits him very well- third person gives me a lot less responsibility and I can expand my description a bit more, as well as show a bit of what the other characters are feeling and thinking.

I'll also be trying this out with other characters too, if the story calls for it- just a heads up ahead of time :D

It's going to be a bit different seeing Memarie through someone else's eyes, so bear with me and I promise I'll do my best for the transition to be as painless as possible :)

OOO

**Edward**

Edward had guessed the first time Memarie had performed alchemy that she had committed the taboo.

He had never guessed the story behind it.

_Four times… she saw the gate four times…_ The thought wouldn't leave his mind. Seeing the Gate twice haunted him in his sleep, she had seen it twice more. Each time she knew exactly what was coming, she knew another limb would be ripped away, but she didn't give up.

Suddenly he understood why she had nightmares every night.

He'd faced his demons a long time ago; the night terrors visited him on occasion, but not every night anymore- he understood why she looked so tired sometimes.

Memarie quite suddenly became the bravest person he knew, save Al. He glanced over at his brother at the thought.

But damn that woman, now he couldn't sleep because she wouldn't leave his head. All he could think about was the thought of a young Memarie facing the Gate. He also thought of her sister, Tara. It wasn't hard to imagine what she looked like, but the thought of two Memaries scared him somewhat.

He scowled up at the ceiling. He was exhausted, and even when she wasn't in the room she was nettling him to no end. As though she had heard him thinking of her, there was a tentative knock at the door. Al raised his head in clear surprise and glanced at Ed as the alchemist sat up, swinging his legs over the bed.

It had to be past midnight; what the hell did Memarie want with him at such a late hour?

But when he opened the door he was a bit surprised to see Winry waiting for him, her blue eyes worried.

"What?" Ed snapped as Al clattered up behind him, waiting to hear what Winry had to say. "It's Memarie." Winry said with a somewhat sleepy yawn. Ed felt a flash of guilt at how hard the young woman was working but he stifled it.

"What's wrong?" Al asked, sounding concerned. Winry looked both amused and anxious. "She's sleep walking." She admitted.

"Well, wake her up and drag her back to bed." Ed snorted, not seeing the issue. Winry shook her head vehemently. "I can't do that!" She exclaimed. "You're not supposed to wake a person when they're sleep walking." She explained. Ed frowned at her, not having heard that before. "Why?" He asked, completely confused.

"I don't know, I just remember Dad saying something about that." Winry said quietly and Ed nodded stiffly. "So what do you want us to do?" He asked gruffly. "You're the genius," Winry hissed. "You think of something! She's making tea for God's sake!" She pointed down the hallway and after a moment Ed trudged off, Al just behind him.

"This is going to be a long night." He grumbled to his brother. "I don't mind." Al said happily, probably excited to have something to do instead of pretending to sleep- he felt a flash of guilt over that, but forgot it when he entered the kitchen.

Memarie was humming quietly under her breath, a happy tune he couldn't place as she dropped some tea into a kettle- he couldn't help but wonder if she really was awake, she seemed quite aware of her surroundings.

"Memarie?" Al asked warily and she turned, and Ed immediately noticed the glazed look in her eyes- she was dead asleep, but somehow on her feet.

"Who're you?" She asked, tilting her head. "Are you a patient?" Al looked confused, but nonetheless he played along. "Um… yes?" He said tentatively and she shrugged. "OK- you'll have to wait, we're really busy today, there are a lot of soldiers here." She said as she turned back to her work. "I think there was an explosion or something." She said, picking up the kettle. For the first time Ed noticed there were two cups at the table and he watched her pour them, hoping maybe she'd just drink some and go back to sleep.

"Sister, I know you're there." Memarie said, sounding amused as she pulled up a chair. "Come on, sit down! We haven't gotten to have tea together in a while, I've been so busy." She waved her hand, beckoning to someone in the corner Ed couldn't see.

_She's hallucinating. _He realized as she turned to an invisible figure in the chair beside her, chatting animatedly- she was speaking so fast it was hard to understand it, but he picked out some medical terms and immediately lost interest.

"Maybe she's reliving a memory or something?" Winry suggested quietly and Ed jumped, having forgotten the mechanic was behind him. He shrugged, watching her talk- she used her hands a lot, and her sleep-glazed eyes were bright. She looked completely different from any other time Ed had seen her- it took him a minute to identify the difference.

She was happy.

Well and truly happy- she hadn't stopped smiling since she and her invisible twin had started talking. It was painful to watch Memarie speaking with a memory- he was relieved though that she wasn't having a nightmare though, at least the dream she was having was pleasant.

"Maybe we should just leave her be." He suggested quietly to Winry, who looked torn. "I don't think we should, it's not safe." She said softly. "She could hurt herself- she doesn't know where she is." She pointed out and Ed sighed, agreeing silently.

"Sleepwalkers don't stay in this state for long," Winry went on in a hushed whisper. "I don't know what happens when they leave it though." She admitted and Ed felt a flash of frustration that all they could do was stand and watch Memarie chattering with a dead person. It was pathetic to watch.

"I'm going back to work." Winry said after a moment, and left without another word, leaving Ed and Al to deal with the sleepwalking doctor. "Why don't you go to bed brother?" Al asked softly after a minute. "I don't mind watching her." He said and Ed shook his head. "Nah it's ok, if I go to bed now I won't be able to sleep wondering if she's ok." He replied with a shrug and glowered at his little brother for the look he gave him. "Oh I see." Al giggled quietly and Ed wanted to kick him.

He was distracted by the clap of thunder outside and looked out the window in surprise.

"It's raining." Memarie said in surprise- apparently she was still influenced by outside voices and sounds. She flashed a grin over at the empty chair and jumped up.

Ed and Al exchanged a worried look as Memarie leaped from her chair and ran eagerly to the door, throwing it open and running outside. "Stay here." Ed said softly. It was coming down in buckets, and he didn't want Al to get wet. "Be careful." Al said, pausing just inside the door as Ed grabbed his red trench coat and threw up the hood. He nodded once and stepped outside.

He stopped dead in surprise at the sight that greeted him- Memarie, the girl who was always the voice of reason, the steadiest and one of the sternest people he knew, was dancing in the rain.

But the most surprising part of it was the fact the rain danced with her, swirling around her in torrents, moving with her arms and swirling around her head- it was stunning to see, but he wasn't prepared for what she did next. She raised a hand into the air and lighting crackled, arching around her in an explosion of white light; Ed blinked hard in the light, but he strained to see- he didn't want to miss this.

The scientist in him was ranting about how this was impossible, no human could control a storm, but his eyes told him the truth- Memarie was dancing with lightning, swirling it above her head like a banner and around her in a dizzying pattern of light.

"Wow." He looked back over his shoulder- Al could see what was going on from just inside the house. "Brother, isn't that beautiful?" He said in awe. Though Ed wasn't known to dwell on beauty, he grunted a yes and turned back to Memarie, watching the rain throw off sparks of light in reaction to the lighting as she danced.

There was no music, but her feet bounced lightly off the ground in a soundless rhythm, her arms moving in sync to a tune he couldn't hear- he wondered if maybe she heard it in her dream.

"If she's asleep, she's going to wake herself up pretty soon." Al remarked and for a moment Ed didn't know what he was talking about- but then he heard thunder, so loud his whole body shook. Every time her lightning flashed through the air it broke the sound barrier- he hadn't noticed, but thunder exploded every few seconds; he had been too entranced by the sheer beauty of the glittering rain and the white lightning that he hadn't even noticed.

"True." He nodded, no longer keeping his voice down- Memarie couldn't hear them, she was rather far away.

Suddenly Memarie stopped, as did the lightning and the rain. Even from his safe distance away Ed could see the surprised look on her face- had she seen something?

She fell backwards into the mud, flat on her back and lay motionless. Ed swore and took off after her, wondering if she'd hurt herself with the lightning.

Ed crouched by her side, peering over her anxiously, looking for scorch marks, but other then being dripping wet she seemed fine- a tiny smile was pulling at her lips.

Apparently the sleep-walking stage had ended quite abruptly- she was dead asleep, and didn't respond to Ed speaking her name a few times, or him prodding her.

With a resigned sigh he scooped her up, grunting in surprise at how light she was- he realized her legs weighed little, which explained why she felt so top-heavy.

She was much taller then him, making it hard for him to get a good hold on her- it was infuriating how tall she was, she was a girl after all.

He managed to half-carry, half drag her to the house where Al held the door open- part of him wanted to hand him over to his much taller brother, but she was clinging to him so tightly he couldn't put her down- besides, his cold armor might wake her up, and then they'd have a very confused, quite possibly hostile teenager on their hands he was just too tired to deal with tonight.

Al followed along quietly as Ed struggled to take the girl to Winry's room, wishing he had given her to Al- so what if she killed them all, she was heavy, damn it.

After practically dropping her on her bed, he turned to leave, and Al sighed in annoyance. "Brother, you really are clueless sometimes." He muttered as he pulled the blanket up to cover her. "She'll freeze to death at this rate." Ed crossed his arms and scowled at his brother's scolding. "I'll go tell Winry she's ok." Al said, slipping from the room with surprising stealth for a suit of armor.

Ed watched him go, then sighed down at the sight of Memarie curled up in bed. With her eyes closed, and her dark brown hair framing her face, she looked hauntingly like his mother with her peaceful expression- normally all resemblance could be ignored, especially when she was beating him senseless, but moments like these when she was calm, it almost hurt how much she resembled her.

Using his flesh hand, he brushed back a lock of soaking wet hair from her face, wondering if maybe they should have dried her off before they went to bed- Al was right, she was going to get a cold.

Ed clapped his hands, touching her hair gently and watching in satisfaction as her hair dried instantly as he transmuted the water in her hair to steam, evaporating it away.

He did the same with her clothes and her now soaked blanket, then stepped back to admire his handiwork.

He finally left her to sleep, where he met Al standing in the hallway, somehow bearing a smug expression.

"Don't start," Ed sighed tiredly as he trudged to his bedroom. "I was just going to say that was very nice of you." Al said, following along happily. He knew his brother would give him more grief, but he was too tired to deal with it.

He flopped down on his bed, asleep before he hit the pillow.

OOO

Memarie obviously had no memories of the night before because she didn't seem the least bit awkward around Ed the next day; though he was a bit uncomfortable around her. Mainly because her arms were missing.

He finally understood why people couldn't stop staring at him when he didn't have his arm on- it was disorienting to see someone without what should be there. Memarie didn't take kindly to his staring and snapped at him often, and despite Al's warnings he teased her, thinking he wouldn't get hurt for it.

He'd obviously forgotten Memarie still had her legs.

After another remark about "Stumpy", which really wasn't that great of a nickname anyway, he suddenly found himself on the floor with two legs wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Damn it Ed I'll kill you!" Memarie snarled, tightening her hold dangerously. Though her prosthetic limbs weren't responsive enough to choke Ed, they hurt like hell when she kicked him and left bruises on the sides of his neck.

He didn't stop teasing her though, just made sure he was running before he finished.

OOO

Winry worked like a woman possessed to finish Memarie's arms and she did later that day, saying it was because her arms weren't as destroyed as her legs and needed only minor adjustments.

As her legs were also finished, the decision was made to attach all four limbs at once, and Ed found himself sick with nervousness in sympathy for her. Attaching just one arm and leg was agony; attaching four sent a chill down his spine.

He didn't know what would be worse; seeing Memarie without her limbs or watching them connect, but once he came in the room and saw her without her limbs he couldn't imagine a more pathetic sight.

To his surprise, Memarie smiled at him and waved a stump of an arm at him in greeting. Her limbs had all been removed quite close to her body; she only had an inch or two of flesh left on each limb. It almost hurt to see one of the scariest women he knew without her limbs, completely helpless and about to be in agony.

"Quit staring," Memarie scowled. "I know I'm not completely covered up but have _some_ decency!" She snapped, rolling her eyes. In nothing but a white tank top that fell a few inches past what was left of her waist, she certainly exposed a lot more then Ed usually got to see, but that wasn't what he was looking at. She looked so small, so vulnerable. Almost as pitiful as last night, but she showed no fear, seeming quite calm and collected.

"We'll do your arms first, then your legs." Pinako decided, picking up her right arm. "Just make it quick." Memarie sighed, bracing herself. Ed found himself holding his breath. He'd never seen it done to anyone else and guiltily wanted to see how it looked.

As Pinako and Winry positioned themselves on either side of her she closed her eyes, clenching her jaw. Ed had a strong impulse to cover his eyes as Winry counted to three.

He flinched as her arms locked in place and Memarie went rigid, but a scream didn't even try to escape her throat. She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling, her jaw working and her entire body tensed.

If it had been him, he would have been allowed to lie down and be left alone to quietly deal with his pain for hours; but Memarie had to go through it again.

"You ready?" Winry asked as she positioned herself next to Memarie, holding her leg and glancing at her. "As I'll ever be." Memarie replied tensely.

To Ed's mild amusement Al covered his eyes. "Brother I can't watch it again." He muttered and Memarie smiled sadly at him. Her expression changed from concerned to agonized as her legs connected; true pain flickered across her face as the veins stood out in her neck and her back arched briefly, but still she didn't make a sound as Winry and Pinako laid her on the couch, closing her eyes and trembling every time she exhaled. The agony she must be in made Ed's limbs ache in sympathy.

He couldn't help but wish he'd had Al's good sense and covered his eyes as he was herded from the room with Al, neither of them complaining.

OOO

**Memarie**

To say it hurt would be the understatement of the century.

To say I was agony would also be an understatement.

_Well this has to be the worst birthday ever._ I thought miserably, staring up at the ceiling. I wondered if Winry or Pinako remembered I was officially sixteen today.

_Oh well. Doesn't really matter, I've haven't had someone celebrate my birthday for years._ I thought with a shrug, then winced as pain exploded in my shoulders.

I was happy enough to be surrounded by friends on my birthday, so I didn't mind if no one wished me a happy birthday; it was already a good birthday, as sentimental and generic as that sounded.

_I wouldn't mind a piece of cake though._

OOO

I fell asleep eventually, thankfully one too light to dream, and woke up to someone poking me rather annoyingly.

"Hey," Winry whispers as I blink sleepily, looking up at her. "Feeling better?" She asks and I groan in response. "Yeah, I guess. Help me sit up." I say as I start to struggle up. Winry happily obliges, supporting me to that I can lean drowsily against the couch, my eyes half closed. "You're going to miss dinner," Winry explains.

"Ah." I say, my rumbling stomach reminding me I haven't eaten hardly anything today. "OK." I gather my still-weak limbs under me and stand up, realizing with a shock I'm taller then before.

"This is going to annoy Ed." I remark as I follow Winry on unsteady legs, which makes her laugh. "You'll get used to the height difference soon." She assures me. "And about your longer arms- it would have been easier if I'd gotten to adjust them sooner." She gives me a reproachful look to which I smile weakly and shrug, then wince.

To my surprise, Ed has his hand back, which he waves to me quite eagerly with. "Good thing you got your hand back; you were starting to look pathetic." I remark, still a bit miffed at his taunting when I hadn't had my arms.

Ed just glares at me as I plop down in the seat beside him, my mouth watering at the scent of beef stew- it didn't get better then Rockbell stew.

Dinner was quiet, the conversations were mainly between Al, Winry and Pinako while Ed and I inhaled our food, I deciding I would have to get the recipe from Pinako.

After dinner most of us slouched in our chairs, tired and happily full- I crossed my arms and laid my head on them, closing my eyes. I was still tired and I still hurt- my stumps were killing me from the rain too, and I wondered if maybe I should go outside and try to break up the storm, but I was feeling lazy from the stew.

I noticed for the first time Winry had disappeared from the table and raised my head, about to ask where she'd gone when she practically blew into the kitchen, her eyes wide and shining.

"Happy birthday!" She said happily as she placed an apple pie in the center of the table, grinning from ear to ear. Edward was practically drooling at the sight of it.

"It's your birthday?" Al asked in surprise as Ed helped himself, earning a rather violent reaction from Winry.

"Yeah." I admit with a shrug, taking my own piece of pie and digging in happily- Winry made wonderful pies. "Happy birthday then." Al said and I flashed him a grin, not denying to myself I was happy Winry had remembered my birthday.

"It is?" Ed asked in surprise, his words muffled and I glared at him. "Don't talk with your mouth full." I chided him.

"I didn't know you were coming here on your birthday, otherwise I would have gotten you a present." Winry said apologetically. "So I'm not charging you for your auto-mail." She said and I raised an eyebrow in shock- four limbs was a hefty price, especially when she worked overtime.

"Thank you." I said, still a bit surprised and Ed frowned. "You're still charging me for the hand, aren't you?" He asked grumpily. "Of course." Winry snorted. "Your birthday's a long time away." She said.

Ed scowled, but his temper was placated by the amount of pie and stew he had already consumed and he didn't offer a retort, merely lounging back in his chair.

I felt as lazy as he looked, but I tried to stay alert though I was falling asleep at the table- it was too early for bed though, so I excused myself and went back to lounge on the couch with one of Winry's parents old medical journals- it was one I had back home, and the words were familiar. I lost myself in the pages, feeling like I was greeting an old friend.

I heard a knock and looked up at the sight of Ed standing in the doorway, glancing over his shoulder. "Ssh." He held up a finger to his lips and shut the door behind him, and I listened in amusement to Winry calling his name, a dangerous edge to her voice.

"Hiding?" I guess as he flopped down next to me. "I may or may not have let something slip that I shouldn't have," He says carefully. "About how I really got this." He says, his hand going to his side and I grimace. "Nice going." I snort. "She's going to kill us all for that one."

Ed just sighed, looking tired. I notice for the first time he had circles under his eyes. "Get enough sleep last night?" I ask, setting the book down and frowning at him. He avoided my gaze and I frowned, then realization hit me. "Ah, the rain, right?" I guess.

"You could say that." He replied after a minute and I shrugged, deciding to leave it. "I think it's about time to take your stitches out." I say after a moment and Ed groaned. "Really?" He asks with a scowl and I nodded. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." I promise him as I slipped from the room to get some of the things I had bought at the pharmacy in town.

When I returned I found Ed waiting unhappily, his arms crossed and a wary look in his eyes when he saw what I had. "Oh you big baby." I chided as I set the bottle of alcohol down on the coffee table in front of us, clapping my hands and transmuting my left arm into a sharp blade. Ed paled noticeably.

"It won't hurt." I promise him as I lift his shirt up, using the blade to carefully cut the thread of the stitches, careful not to nick him by accident. "This is the part that hurts a little." I admitted as I plucked out a stitch, making him yelp as a bead of blood surfaced.

A minute later all the stitches were gone, and after cleaning it off with the alcohol I put a new bandage on it for the last time- he wouldn't need one on it anymore, the little cuts would heal on their own.

"All done." I said, and got no response- I looked up to see he had fallen asleep. I sigh softly and shook my head, wondering if I should fetch his brother to come and take him up to bed.

_He'll be fine- I don't want to wake him; he looks like he didn't get much sleep last night. _I thought worriedly as I picked the book back up and leaned back, wondering if maybe he was getting a cold.

I thumbed through the pages, refreshing my memory on cold remedies, hoping he would wait to start getting sick until after we left- Winry probably wouldn't let us leave if he was sick.

_You always have the worst timing._ I thought in annoyance.

OOO

**Alphonse**

"Brother?" Al called softly into the dim hallway. "Winry put her wrench away, I think it's safe- where are you?" He peered into various rooms, hunting for the diminutive alchemist.

_Knowing him he found a warm place to curl up and fell asleep- he's just like a cat. _Al thought in amusement as he opened up another door.

If suits of armor had eyebrows, Al would have raised his at the sight of Ed and Memarie. Ed was asleep, as Al had guessed, but so was Memarie, a forgotten book spread out on her lap as she dozed.

Apparently they both had fallen asleep sitting up, but Memarie had fallen to the side a bit and now her head was resting on Ed's shoulder, with his head on top of hers.

_That's so cute! _Al thought happily. _I can't stand to wake them up now! I'll just leave them like that- what's the harm?_ He thought, closing the door. They'd both had a rough night- he wanted them to get some well-needed sleep, and he knew they were aching anyway from the rain- Ed had complained enough about his aching stumps today, and Memarie had once mentioned pain tended to exhaust you.

_Poor things._ He thought with a shake of his head, turning to leave and nearly crashing into a sleepy mechanic.

"Winry!" Al looked down in surprise- she looked exhausted. "Why are you still awake?" Al asked, concerned.

"Looking for Ed." Winry admitted. "I was hoping to get some more details about him _getting shot,_" She growled, her eyes turning vicious and Al felt his armor shake. _Ed you idiot!_ He thought, remembering him complaining about his side killing him at the dinner table- Ed had said something about how bullets hurt a lot worse then he'd thought they would and Winry had been sent into a rampage.

"But he hasn't turned up for an hour and I was getting worried- he hasn't even sparred with you yet." Winry said and Al nodded. "We both agreed to do it tomorrow if the rain stopped." Al explained. Winry looked around him and frowned. "Is he in there?" She asked, sounding hopeful as she side-stepped around him. Al, not seeing the harm in showing her where the two State alchemists had gone, opened the door and happily showed her.

"Aren't they cute?" Al whispered in excitement. "Brother will be so embarrassed when he wakes up, but right now they look so…" He broke off when he realized Winry was paying him no attention. "Winry?" He turned to her, taking in her pained face and wondering if he'd done something wrong. "Are you ok?" He asked, resting a hand on her shoulder and she turned to him.

"I guessed a few days ago, when they fought." She said quietly. "But I didn't know… Ed felt…" Al started as tears suddenly rolled down her cheeks. Before Al could ask what was wrong Winry had vanished, running down the hall and disappearing.

_I will never understand women. _Al thought, shaking his head.

OOO

**Edward**

"Nraggh," Ed blinked sleepily when he felt someone shaking him. "Brother, wake up." A voice commanded softly and Ed groaned. "Ten more minutes." He mumbled, turning his head away from the annoying voice that was trying to pull him out of the warm comfort of sleep. He felt something warm and soft tickling his face and wondered if Den had snuck into his bed- there was definitely a living being next to him, and he pulled it a bit closer, trying to get back to sleep.

"Brother get up!" The voice hissed insistently. "She'll _kill_ you if she wakes up before you do!"

Edward groaned and opened his eyes again, blinking in the bright morning light. As his eyes focused he realized the sleeping being next to him was Memarie.

"Holy…" Ed jerked his head back, shock at his position making him fully alert. It wasn't the fact she was there that surprised him, he'd fallen asleep here last night- at least he thought he did, the last thing he remembered was Memarie applying a bandage.

What surprised him was the fact he was actually holding her to him- he had one arm wrapped around her waist, and until a moment ago he'd been resting his head on hers- she hadn't stirred even with his cursing and squirming.

"I hate to wake you up but you and I both know how much she hates being touched." The voice that non-surprisingly belonged to Al explained. Ed shuddered. Al had a very good point.

A mental image of the unspeakable horrors Memarie would do to him if she realized they were so close sent a chill through him- he carefully shifted away from her, removing his arm and trying to cushion her as she fell to the side, curling up on the couch.

"She's one deep sleeper." Al remarked and Ed nodded fervently in agreement. "I got us train tickets back to Central for tonight." Al said quietly as Ed stood up and stretched. "I thought you'd want to leave as soon as possible."

"Good thinking," Ed nodded. "I want to get out of here." He said, then sighed as the image of Winry's tear-streaked face surfaced. He was going to make her cry again.

"Should we wake her up now?" Al asked, nodding to the sleeping girl on the couch. "Nah, let her be- she's probably still sore, and I'd rather not be maimed today- at least not before breakfast." Ed said, sniffing the air hopefully as he made his way to the kitchen.

OOO

**Memarie**

I woke up with my face annoyingly damp and shook my head, letting out a surprised yelp as I fell off the couch and landed face-down on the floor.

"Oh, what a _glorious_ way to start the day." I groan into the floor. A wet nose pushed itself into my face and I sighed. "Did they send you to wake me up?" I asked in amusement as I sat up, yawning as I stretched. Den panted happily and licked my face again, trotting out of the room and leaving me to pick myself up off the floor.

_Must have fallen asleep reading. _I thought, picking up the book I had left on the couch and returning it to the bookshelf. _Ed probably left after I feel asleep. _I thought as I wandered sleepily down the hall, hearing loud noises coming from outside. I quickened my pace- what I was hearing was obviously fighting, and my blood ran hot in my veins, pulsing with excitement as I stepped outside.

"You're finally awake." Pinako observed, taking a long drag from her pipe. "What time is it?" I asked, looking up at the sky and trying to judge where the sun was. "About noon." I stiffened in surprise and turned to her, about to comment when there was a thud and my attention was snatched away.

Ed and Al were really going at it- I'd never gotten the opportunity to see the two of them fight, and it was impressive to watch. Ed moved fast and had considerable power despite his size- Al had the advantage of height and bulk, but that wasn't the only reason he seemed to be thrashing Ed- his aim was more refined, and his reflexes were better then Ed's.

_I never would have thought Al was the better fighter. _I thought as Al flipped Ed over his shoulder for the umpteenth time- Ed was no pushover though, his recovery time was faster then Al's and he moved like a cat.

I was itching to join them, bouncing on my toes and waiting impatiently for one of them to call it off so I could join in.

My patience was rewarded a short time later after Ed got tired of eating mud and surrendered. "Can I join?" I asked hopefully, bouncing over and raking my gaze over Ed critically, looking for any injuries before I even realized what I was doing- other then being out of breath and a few minor cuts and bruises he seemed fine- Al had gone easy on him. His eyes were bright and his cheeks were flushed- the adrenaline hadn't worn off yet.

"Sure." Ed shrugged. "You can go at it with Al- I'm not hitting a girl." Ed replied, crossing his arms. "Good, because I was thinking the same thing." I reply offhandedly. It took Ed a minute for the insult to make sense but by then I'd already launched myself at Al before he could make the same excuse.

"I gotta tell you," I say as I ducked yet another blow. "You're one of the faster opponents I've faced." I say with an excited grin. Sparring was ridiculously fun, especially against someone who matched you.

I gasped with surprise as I was suddenly sent flying through the air and landed in the mud, the wind knocked out of me. "Did I hurt you?" Al asks anxiously and I moan in response, twitching feebly.

When Al comes closer to make sure I'm ok I push myself up with my arms, keeping my weight fixed on my hands as I spun, knocking Al's legs out from underneath him.

"Cheater!" Al accuses as I leap to my feet, waiting for him to come at me again. "There's no such thing as a cheater in a fight. If you strike fast you'll end it fast." I reply, holding out my fists in waiting.

"I think I've heard that before," Al says thoughtfully as he barrels towards me. I was a bit amused he could keep up a conversation easily even while we fought- he never got short of breath though, so it was easy for him.

"Oh, I remember!" He announces as I somehow manage to land a blow on his chest, knocking him backwards. If I had a flesh hand that would have probably broken a knuckle- I could see how Al was a formidable opponent.

"When Ed and the Colonel fought during his examination Mustang said that!" He exclaims suddenly and I stiffen. Al doesn't miss his window of opportunity and before I know it I'm on my stomach, my arm twisted behind me and a knee on my back.

I spit out a mouthful of mud and look up at him, grinning despite my sound defeat. "That's one of the best fights I've had in a long time." I say happily. "You're really good." Al says as he helps me up. "Not good enough." I reply with a grin and turn to Ed, who is watching on the sidelines with Granny Pinako and Winry. "Come on Ed." I beg. "Please? I don't want to stop yet." I beg, bouncing from foot to foot. The adrenaline high was exhilarating- if Ed didn't agree to a fight I'd probably fight him anyway, just to keep it going a bit longer.

"After seeing you and Al nearly kill each other how could I resist my chance to kick your ass?" Ed asks with an evil grin. He charges and I sigh in mild amusement. I had already pegged him an easy defeat after fighting Al- if Al could beat him I probably could, Al and I had about the same fighting abilities.

"Try not to make your approach so obvious next time." I offer as I dodge Ed's attack, ducking as his fist swings towards me. I catch it in my hand and grin at him. "Too slow."

Ed swears as I spin, my leg catching him behind the knees, forcing his legs to buckle and him to fall. He's surprisingly fast though- he grabs my ankle before I can jump clear and before I know it I'm on the ground, my eyes wide with surprise.

"Not bad." I comment as we both climb up, and I notice his eyes are bright again- I knew I probably looked the same.

I decide to attack first, throwing a fist towards his face, gauging his reflexes. I'd been taught to build up a stat sheet of my opponent in my head, deciding their weaknesses and strengths and going from there.

I wonder if Ed was doing the same, because he managed to bring me down into the mud again. "Now who's too slow?" Ed brags as he stands above me. "You." I reply as I push myself up off the ground, bowling him over and pinning him down in the mud.

"Wait to brag until after a fight." I chide him as I leap off again, holding out my fists in front of me. "To tell you the truth I've been going easy on you," I admit. "But I'm getting tired, and you're starting to annoy me, so I'll take it up a notch." I say as I dove forward. Edward gasps as I land a blow firmly on a pressure point in his shoulder, effectively numbing his flesh arm.

In a fight, blows to the chest and anywhere above are critical areas that can end a fight in a moment- but they can also end a life, and should be dealt with carefully- one more blow to Ed's neck and he was on his knees.

I look down at him in surprise, wondering if I'd hurt him, when a fist connects with my stomach.

"Dirty trick!" I gasp as I'm sent sprawling. "You just said it yourself; there are no dirty tricks in a fight." Ed laughs as he tackles me to the ground, using one of my signature moves against me as we roll around in the mud, both trying to get the advantage.

I finally manage to pin him down and lay on top for him for a moment, trying to catch my breath. "You're good," I pant. "I'm glad I don't have to face you in a _real_ fight." I say and he nods fervently. "You'd probably blow me to bits." He laughs and I grin.

"Are you guys going to lie around in the mud all day?" Al asks, sounding amused and I roll off of Ed, standing up and frowning down at my very muddy self.

"I call the shower!" Ed cries and dashes off. "No fair!" I exclaim and then sigh, giving up. "I'll make my own." I mutter, looking up at the overcast sky.

I clap my hands and after only a brief concentration I had my own personal rain cloud hovering above my head, raining down on me and washing off the mud.

"Much better." I say after most of the mud was gone- any longer and I was going to freeze, the rain was _cold._

"Now if you'll excuse me," I say to my flabbergasted audience, "I have a midget to strangle for stealing my shower." I say, wandering off.

OOO

The rest of the day was spent packing and wondering what awful sin I had committed that made Winry glare at me and give me the cold shoulder.

_I wish she'd tell me. _I thought in annoyance as I slammed my suitcase shut. _She's acting so different then she was last night, so I must have done something either this morning or last night. _I thought, but trying to figure out what made me want to scratch my head.

"You ready?" Ed pokes his head into the room and I frown at him. "Don't come into a girl's room unannounced." I chide him as I pick up my suitcase. "But yeah, I'm ready." I follow him out to the porch where Winry, Pinako and Al are waiting. Den gets to his feet with a resigned whine, as though he knows we are leaving.

"Sorry boy," I murmur, running a hand over his head as he blinks sad brown eyes up at me. "Come back soon. And send us letters from time to time." Pinako says as I lean down and hug her, despite her protests. "I'll write." I promise, then turn to Winry.

"Come back soon." She says softly and while I hesitate she dives forward and latches onto Ed, who of course panics.

I wonder yet again what I did as she bids Ed and Al fond farewells and then disappears back into the house, ignoring me completely.

"Ignore her, child." Pinako says wisely, taking a drag from her pipe. "Just a touch of the green-eyed monster." I stare at her in complete confusion, about to ask what she meant but she shoos us all off. "Go! You're going to miss your train!" She points out and Ed and Al take off, waving happily to the little old woman.

"Bye Granny!" I wave, taking off after the Elrics.

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Naarrgh. This chapter was soooo long. Gah. I'm tired just looking at it.

It's brimming with fluff because I feel rather bad about last chapter's cliffie so I added plenty of fluff to cushion Memarie's dark secret.

Well, review please! Feedback is very much appreciated! :D

LOSGAP =D

16


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:**

Bwahaha. This chapter will be awesome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA *oh how I wish I did* or the song mentioned, but little Memarie and everyone else not in the anime belong to ME.

:D

LOSGAP =D

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_There's a hate inside of me like_

_Some kind of master._

_I tried to save you but I _

_Can't find the answer._

_I'm holding onto you._

_I'll never let go._

_I need you with me as I_

_Enter the shadows._

_(Red, "Shadows".)_

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I drop my suitcase just inside my door and stretch, sighing with relief.

_Home sweet home._ I thought, looking around my small apartment- it was the same as Ed and Al's, apparently we got special treatment.

I wasn't complaining though- I was tired from the train ride and from the strain of reporting to Mustang and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed.

I pad softly up the stairs and entered my bedroom, then stiffened. Someone had been in here, and recently. I lift my head and scour the room, looking for traces. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing straight up, and I just _knew _someone had been in here recently, though I had no idea who. My eyes landed on a package lying on my bed and I was immediately suspicious.

I step forward lightly, eyeing it warily. It was simple, a rectangular box with brown paper wrapping and a white bow. I tilt my head as I look at it- there was a card attached to the top.

I carefully snatch the card off and duck, shielding my eyes. After a minute when nothing happened I relax, scolding myself for being so suspicious. I was paranoid, and I was well aware of it. I read over the card, glad no one had been here to see me acting so strangely.

_Happy birthday _was all it said. I raise an eyebrow. That was it? It wasn't signed, which I instantly took as a bad sign. I glare at the package, distrust rising in me.

My fingers twitched and I groaned. I was only human.

I undid the ribbon with a few deft pulls and ripped the paper away, staring at the white box. It was short and wide- anything could have been in there. Holding my breath and closing my eyes, I opened the box and ducked away.

_Damn it Memarie get a grip on yourself! _I thought furiously. Though I hated most of the people here, I knew they wouldn't let a bomb or something into my room. Tentatively, I leaned over and peered into the box. I couldn't tell what the neatly folded fabric was so I pulled it out and unfolded it, holding it in front of me and examining it in the moonlight.

My eyes widen in surprise at what I held. It was a long trench coat, made of brown leather so soft I wanted to rub my cheek on it and go to sleep with it. It had a fur-lined hood, which I rebelled against at first but then I realized it was fake- whoever had gotten me this knew me well enough that I would die before putting on anything with real fur.

I ran my fingers over the soft coat, wondering who had gotten me it as I stood up and slipped it on. It snuggled around me like the hug of an old friend and I close my eyes, sighing with delight. I wasn't one for fashion, but I'd been meaning to get a good jacket for a while, after all the traveling I had been doing- this one was perfect. It was light, but the soft leather would keep me warm on cold nights and days.

I wished the card had been signed- I wanted to thank whoever had given it to me. I threw away the packaging and lay down on the bed, still wearing the coat, turning my head into it and breathing deeply, closing my eyes. Leather was one of my favorite scents.

_Who would have given me this?_ I wonder, my eyes drifting shut. I thought instantly of the Elric brothers, but neither of them would have had time to put this in my room before I got there- besides, they hadn't known of my birthday until the night before.

_Maybe Armstrong? He has an eye for beauty._ I thought, then dispelled the thought immediately- there was no way Armstrong would be discreet about giving anyone a gift, besides, he would have thought showing me his impressive muscles would be present enough.

_Ugh! I have no idea! I don't even _want_ to know who gave it to me- the only one who could have given this to me would be a soldier, and the thought of any of them wanting to give me gifts disturbs me to no end- I may be overreacting, it may have been a woman, but what woman would have given away something that is clearly expensive without expecting a thank you?_

I thought of Hawkeye and smile. _Maybe her then- I wonder how she knew it was my birthday… _I wonder absentmindedly as I slip into sleep.

OOO

"Well I have no idea who would give you a coat." Ed shrugs after I relayed the mystery to him the next day at breakfast in the mess hall.

"It's weird though." I say, pulling it around me- I hadn't taken it off yet. It was so damn _comfy._

"Maybe you have a secret admirer?" Al suggests and both Ed and I choke on our food. I hold up a hand while I try to catch my breath, gasping and swallowing in a very un-ladylike fashion before I finally drew enough breath to speak.

"It has to be a soldier though," Ed points out before I can. "Which means if she has an admirer he's a pedophile." I shudder all over. "_Ew!_ Can we please stop speculating about what creepy man got me this? I'm starting to think it was Hawkeye." I admit and Ed raises an eyebrow. "Why would she care about your birthday?" He asks in confusion and I shrug. "I barely know the woman, but she seems nice enough." I say and Ed shrugs. "She's all right." He says and I take another sip of coffee and sigh. "Why do I get the feeling we're not going to get to just lounge around today?" I mutter.

Ed grimaces. "I really hope we don't get sent on anything just yet, I wanted to go check out some new books." I groan at that and flop my head down on the table. "How do you read so much?!" I moan into the table. "You're teenage boys! It's unhealthy and unnatural!"

"What else do you suggest we do for research?" Ed points out I shrug without looking up. "No idea. But there's gotta be _some_ people out there we can talk to!" I exclaim.

"I think I can help you with that." I turn my head and glare up at the familiar face of Mustang. "Really?" Al asks, ignoring the dirty looks both Ed and I are sending Roy's way.

"Meet me in my office in an hour." He says, marching off and I notice for the first time Hawkeye was just behind him. I wave at her and she blinks, offering me a small nod before she marches off.

_Hmm. Maybe it wasn't Hawkeye after all._

OOO

When Ed, Al and I walk into the office Roy starts talking as soon as we sit down.

"We've been getting reports coming from a small town up north," He starts. "Apparently people have been disappearing and red light seems to be coming from a place out in the woods." He says and my eyes widen. "That certainly sounds right up our alley." I say, my brain already whirring with what could be going on out there.

"I thought you would say that." Mustang says, pushing a few papers over his desk towards us. I snatch one up and run my eyes over it, scanning over the details.

"I suggest getting a train tonight so you can be there tomorrow morning." He says, folding his hands and resting his chin on him.

"What, no sarcastic comments this time?" Ed asks, and I nod in agreement, wondering why he's helping us without a single snide remark. Mustang shrugs. "Just in a good mood today," He says, his lips lifting up in a smirk. "Of course, anyone who has such a fine date tonight would be in a good mood." I roll my eyes and count to ten in my head before I speak.

"Well, we'll be leaving then." I say, standing up and moving towards the door. "You forgot to salute." Mustang reminds me. "No I didn't." I reply calmly as I step outside, proud of myself for not losing my temper once in his office.

"Let's go get a train." I say, leading the way down the hall.

OOO

**Riza**

Riza Hawkeye turned her head, watching Memarie and the Elrics leave the office. She turned towards the Colonel, who was watching them go with a little smile.

"That was a nice thing you did Colonel." Riza commented as the two watched the three walk away. "I don't know what you're talking about." Roy sniffed, returning to his paperwork. Riza raised an eyebrow and turned back to the window, watching Memarie pull the hood up on her coat as it started to rain.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Roy was watching her as well. A small smile crossed his features before he went back to doodling on some official paperwork.

OOO

**Memarie**

"I'm freezing." Ed complains from the seat next to me and I grunt in agreement, burrowing deeper into the rented blanket. It was ridiculously expensive, but it kept most of the cold away.

I look past Ed's silhouette and try to see outside, but it's pitch black, only just a shade brighter outside- I could barely make out Al's massive bulk in the seat across from me and Ed's slight frame next to me.

My eyes started to drift shut but I snap them back open, staring stubbornly ahead of me. I wonder if I'll really be able to stay awake all the way there- it's a proven medical fact you're most likely to have nightmares when it's cold, and I was hoping to keep up the two night streak of pleasant dreams.

I'd had good dreams the past two nights, though I didn't know why- maybe it was because I was staying at the Rockbells?

But then why were the two dreams so different?

Two nights ago had been nothing more then a memory I'd relived- I barely remembered it, but Tara was there, and she was alive- I remembered dancing in the rain, it had been so real I'd woken up with the scent of it still on my clothes.

_I haven't danced like that in years. _I thought wistfully. It was wonderful to dance with a storm, beautifully exhilarating and just plain incredible.

But last night I had dreamt without a memory nor a nightmare for the first time in many, many years- I only remember snatches, but most were of trivial things, like picking flowers on a bright green hill, lying on a beach and watching the waves and at one point I think I flew- I wondered why I'd had such a carefree dream, or why my arms felt so empty when I woke up.

_Maybe I was feverish or something._ I decide finally as I allow my eyes to drift shut, giving up and waiting for the monsters to claim me.

OOO

**Edward**

"Brother, we're almost there." Al said softly and Ed grunted, attempting to roll over and bashed his head into the window.

"Ow!" He hissed, straightening out his cramped limbs and rubbing his very sore head. "Ugh." He shook his head, blinking his eyes. He shivered and pulled the blanket closer around him, glancing around the train. From the light outside it was late morning- the train would be pulling into the station anytime now.

He glanced over at Memarie and did a double take- she always got herself into the strangest positions in the middle of the night, right now she was bent over on the table, her arms spread out around her and her hair flying around her face.

"How can she sleep like that?" Ed shook his head, perplexed. Memarie's fingers twitched and she muttered in her sleep, unaware of him talking about her.

"You've slept in some pretty weird places too." Al pointed out as Ed shook the Storm Alchemist awake. Ed didn't deny it, leaning back and wrapping himself more securely in the blanket as Memarie blinked awake, her eyes bleary as she stared ahead.

"You awake?" Ed asked, glancing over at her. A shiver ran through her, and she nodded once. "Yeah." She said softly, sitting up and wrapping her arms around herself. Ed recognized the face of someone who had just had a nightmare and said nothing, allowing her to come back to reality on her own.

"We'll be there any minute." He said and Memarie nodded, glancing at her pocket watch and yawned massively. "Well, at least we'll start getting to the bottom of this soon." She muttered as she pulled some official reports out of her suitcase.

"We're going to have to be careful," She said, glancing over the paper. "People have been disappearing left and right- I'd rather not be kidnapped and/or murdered anytime soon." She said, yawning again as she tucked it away. She gave both Al and Edward stern looks. "That means no wandering off on our own; we're going to have to apply the buddy system." She said, and Ed snorted.

"Buddy system?" He repeated in amusement. "I think I'm capable of looking out for myself, and so is Al." He said, crossing his arms stubbornly. He hated it when she patronized him like this.

"And so can I." Memarie replied, not losing her temper for once. "But it'd be just plain stupid to go wandering alone- at least until we know what we're dealing with." She said and Ed scowled. He hadn't been planning on wandering off by himself; did she think he was an idiot or something?

"We're not stupid." He said, voicing his thoughts. "I'm not going to go looking for trouble." He said and she glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't that exactly what we're doing?" She pointed out and Ed rolled his eyes.

"Look, let's just try and stick together here. I've got a bad feeling about this place." She muttered, wrapping her arms around herself and frowning.

"What do you mean, a bad feeling?" He echoed. He'd never been one to believe in that kind of thing. She glanced at him and shrugged. "Call it a sixth sense." She replied, then jumped as the train whistle blew, signaling that they were approaching the station.

"Well, we're here." She grunted. "Let's hope we get out of this one without injury."

OOO

**Memarie**

"Oh praise the Lord, we have fire!" I exclaim, hurrying over to the fireplace and immediately attempting to figure it out.

Ed and Al follow inside more slowly, watching as I attempt to get the fire started by fiddling with the switches and dials.

"Oh screw this." I mutter finally, clapping my hands and sending a spark into the logs. I sigh with relief as a fire blazed up in the logs and sat down on the freezing wooden floor of the room of the inn we were staying at, trying to warm up.

"I hate being cold." I complain, shedding my coat and throwing it onto one of the two beds in the room. "You know you haven't stopped whining since we got here?" Ed asks as he flops down onto one of the other bed and Al sat down next to him.

"It's a horrible place to live and I hate everything in this town." I reply flatly. "I haven't seen anything worth praising here yet. The people are mean, it's cold and it's white everywhere." I scowl. I hated snow. It got in my joints, rusted my gears and it was cold, and as I've said before, I _hate_ being cold.

Ed just shook his head in amusement and stretched out, yawning. "It's only mid afternoon, don't take a nap." I snort in annoyance as I moved to my bed, putting a bit of distance between myself and the flames- since I couldn't feel heat in my arms and legs I didn't want to risk melting them or damaging the auto mail in any way.

Ed doesn't reply, already asleep. I sigh and grab my pillow, dropping my head onto it. "He's so annoying." I mutter and Al nods, not denying the fact his older brother was annoying. "We'll go out for dinner or something tonight and start sniffing around, but let's keep it low-key- I don't want to raise suspicions." I say, yawning a bit as I roll over and turn my back to the flames, turning to Al.

"Still have a bad feeling about this place?" Al asks and I nod tightly, drawing the blanket around me. "It's worse now, actually." I mutter. I couldn't put my finger on it, but ever since I had entered this town alarm bells had been ringing in my head insistently- something was wrong, it burned the back of my throat and made my skin prickle.

_You're being paranoid again._ I thought in slight amusement as I yawn, burrowing my head into my pillow. "I don't know, I'm probably just being paranoid." I mutter. "Forget I said anything about it." I sigh, allowing my eyes to drift shut.

OOO

Ed and I agreed on something, for once- taverns are great sources of information, locals hang out there and after a few drinks they'll tell you anything.

Ed, Al and I decide to scope out a bar called the White Lion, that was a part of the hotel we were staying at- there was nothing white about this place, it was filthy, the people in it kept giving us the evil eye, and the tables looked like they hadn't been cleaned in years.

But it seemed to be the most popular place in town- the place was packed, which meant plenty of people to get information from.

"Can I get you anything?" I look up at a bar maid and nudge Ed's foot with my own, flashing him a look that I hoped he would read as _Be polite._ The last thing I wanted was to get kicked out of here because he opened his big mouth. Ed shoots me a glare and turns to the waitress and offers what he probably thought was a charming smile, though it came out more as a grimace.

_Well we're off to a great start._ I thought with a sigh, interrupting him before he can insult the woman- he was obviously staring at her protruding belly; the woman had to be due in a week.

"We'll just have some water." I say, grounding my foot on Ed's toe as he continued to stare. He yelps and glares at me, making the waitress arch a blonde eyebrow. "You ok there sonny?" She asks and I stomp down on his foot again as his eyes stray, once again, away from her face.

_Edward Elric I am _so _going to give you a lesson on manners. _

"Just fine." Ed says weakly, staring at the table and I remove my foot as she walks away. "What was that about?!" Ed hisses and I glare at him. "You were staring at her!" I snap, keeping my voice down. "No I wasn't." Ed snorts and I roll my eyes. "You were totally ogling her." I shoot back.

"Well what's wrong with that? She's huge!" Ed exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. "Oh like you've never seen a pregnant woman before!" I reply and he scowls. "No, but that woman was like a melon!" He continues and I frown. He had a point- she was probably expecting twins. "That doesn't give you the right to stare." I point out. "Why are you so upset about me staring at her?" Ed wonders. Suddenly he raises an eyebrow, grinning cheekily. "Are you jealous?"

For a moment I just stare at him. A laugh leaps out of my throat and I cover my mouth as my shoulders start to shake with silent mirth, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"You know, that's kind of insulting." Ed scowls and I just shake my head, unable to respond even as the waitress came back with a pitcher and three glasses. She gave me a weird look and left, while I attempted to control myself.

"I think," I giggle as I pour myself a drink. "That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard."

OOO

"What a waste of time." I grumble as we wander back to the hotel. "We were there for two hours and didn't learn a damn thing- they don't trust us." I scowl, crossing my arms in a futile attempt to ward off the cold.

"They don't even know you're State Alchemists though." Al points out and I shrug in unison with Ed. "Doesn't matter. We're outsiders." Ed says and I nod in agreement.

"This is a small town; people don't take kindly to newcomers." I say, then freeze in my tracks. "What?" Ed pauses, looking back. "Nothing." I say after a moment, walking off again. I glance back towards the woods far off from town, wondering if I had imagined that flash of red light.

OOO

**Edward**

"Well this was a wasted day." Edward remarked, leaning back in his booth at the White Lion. They had decided it would be a good idea to become regulars here, hoping to fade into the woodwork and possibly pick up traces of gossip.

"I know, I'm tired and we didn't learn anything. That one guy hates our guts now." Memarie commented, glaring at the table.

"I feel bad for scaring that poor cow." Al moaned and Ed suppressed a snicker. "It probably hadn't seen a suit of armor before." Memarie assured his brother. She turned to glare at Ed who held up his hands innocently. "We wouldn't have had to chase that damn cow half way back to Central if _someone _hadn't volunteered to help." She scowled.

"You're the one who said we should help out wherever we can!" Ed protested. "Besides, you don't even have real feet, what do you care about walking?" He grumbled and Memarie shot him a look that sent chills through him. "I get tired too, like a real person." She replied in a tone that made Ed regret having opened his mouth- he hated it when people commented on his auto mail, why should Memarie be any different?

"It's snowing." Al remarked and Memarie and Ed both turned to look at the window directly beside their table. Sure enough, snow was falling in massive flakes, blanketing the town in a thick white cover of snow. "Good luck to anyone trying to get home tonight." Memarie remarked and Ed nodded, wondering how anyone could drive through this, or even walk.

Memarie sighed, resting her chin on her hand and stared out the window. "It's so boring here." She muttered. "The residents here really don't like strangers." She frowned.

"Any ideas Al?" She asked, glancing over at the suit of armor, and he shook his head. "None." He sighed. "Ugh." Memarie dropped her head down on the table and groaned. Ed frowned at her, wondering what she was thinking- her eyes were narrowed with thought, he could almost see the gears turning in her head.

"I have an idea." She said abruptly, sitting up. "If I need you two to do anything, play along and don't ask questions." She said sternly before she stood up and walked off- Ed watched her go, wondering what on Earth she was up to.

He and Alphonse watched Memarie as she walked over to where the heavily pregnant waitress was leaning against the bar, and Ed raised his eyebrows as Memarie started talking to her- he wasn't surprised that she was trying to strike up a conversation, but the grin on the waitresses face made him wonder what they were talking about.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Al whispered to him and Ed shrugged. "No clue." He muttered, watching as Memarie spoke more and more animatedly, pointing to Ed and Al several times.

After a few minutes Memarie finally came back, waving to the waitress. "What were you talking about?" Ed asked before she could explain as she slid in next to him, taking a long gulp from her glass of water. "You and her were getting pretty chatty." He observed. "Her name is Patience." Memarie said. "And yes, we were." She grinned. "I have a lunch date with her tomorrow." Ed raised his eyebrows, impressed. "What did you tell her?" He asked, crossing his arms. "That I'm six weeks pregnant." Memarie replied happily and Ed choked on his water. "_What?!"_

"Oh calm down, I'm not really pregnant." Memarie snorted. "Then why…?" Al was just as confused as Ed. "Fun fact; pregnant women _love_ talking to other pregnant women." Memarie said wisely. Ed raised an eyebrow. "Really?" He asked in surprise. Women always mystified him. "Yeah. Especially when you're a doctor- they'll talk for hours and hours and hours. About anything, really. Pregnant women are easy to trust. Especially when wed to cute little alchemists." Memarie wiggled her eyebrows at him. It took Ed about seven seconds for this statement to make sense.

"Oh no!" He waved his hands frantically in front of him. "No way! I am _not_ going to pretend to be your husband!" He exclaimed. Memarie mock-gasped. "Edward, how could you raise your voice at the mother of your child?!" She wailed. Half the bar turned to stare at them. Ed cleared his throat nervously. "Um, maybe we should take this outside…?" He hissed, his voice strained as he glanced around at the accusing stares from everyone, mainly from the women.

"Are you ashamed to be with me?!" Memarie shrieked and Ed's eyes widened. _What the hell did I do?!_

"Fine!" Memarie sobbed. "I'll find somewhere else to stay tonight- take your lazy ass and get out of my sight!" Memarie screeched, standing up and pointing towards the door. The bar was deathly silent. Ed cleared his throat awkwardly under the stares. Beside him Al stood up. "I think we should go." He said, practically dragging Ed out the door- Ed glanced over his shoulder to see Memarie collapse in tears into the arms of Patience, who flipped him the bird.

"What did I do?" Ed demanded as soon as they were outside, the door locked behind them. "Brother, you're an idiot." Al said in amusement. "She was acting!" Ed blinked in surprise. "I knew that." He sniffed after a moment. Al snorted. "Sure you did." He muttered, wandering off. Ed followed, glancing back at the bar where it seemed half the patrons were comforting Memarie. He had to admit, she was a damned good actress.

OOO

**Memarie**

"Patience said that the river was this way." I say as I leap up onto a rock, scouring the woods ahead. Ed and Al pause just below, waiting for my verdict.

Last night, I had talked with Patience for hours; she had been happy to spill details about everything in town to a weeping young mother. Apparently her husband had been just one of dozens of people who had disappeared from the town within the past month- she also mentioned that the lake north of town had begun to stink and the water had changed color- it wasn't safe to drink anymore, a little girl had died after drinking some.

_Whatever's going on in this town, we need to stop it. _I thought grimly as I took off again, Ed and Al just behind me as I led the way.

I could feel my pace slowing down and a headache started to creep up on me; I glance over at Ed to see if he was starting to feel weird too but he seemed fine, so I put it off on not getting much sleep the night before.

I cough and slow down to a halt, dragging in shallow breaths and doubling over, struggling to catch my breath. "Are you ok?" Ed asks, crouching down beside me. I shake my head mutely, motioning towards my chest, trying to indicate I couldn't breath. Ed's eyes hardened and he stood up.

"Al, take her back to town, I think I know what's going on." He says quietly as I sink down to my knees. I don't protest as Al scoops me up with ease and takes off at a run, not bothering to explain to me as we leave the area.

Within moments I start to feel better, but whatever was in the air back there has already deprived me of oxygen for a while; too tired to fight, I allow myself to sink into sleep.

OOO

**Edward**

Ed swore the instant he caught sight of the lake; with his shirt pulled up over his nose and mouth he approached the red water with caution, staring at it distrustfully.

Just as he'd thought, Memarie had been poisoned by the scent of the red water- the Tringham brothers had taught him it was lethal in high doses, but he hadn't thought someone could get sick that far back from the water- perhaps Memarie was just sensitive.

_Her? Sensitive?_ He thought in amusement as he studied the water, wondering if he should take a sample back to Central and let the authorities handle this- he'd already had experience with red water, he didn't need another lesson on its potency. He thought unwittingly of Patience back at the White Lion and his stomach rolled; had someone made her drink the red water?

_The sooner we get this over with the better. _Ed thought, dumping out his water flask and filling it with the toxic substance, deciding he would ship it back to Central but would stay to ensure that no more civilians were harmed by this.

He straightened, about to go back to town to tell Memarie and Al his findings when someone called his name.

"Edward?" He turned, his eyes widening with shock at the painfully familiar voice. He stared as the woman emerged from the trees, smiling at him. "I've missed you, my little Edward."

His eyes narrowed as he stared at his mother, clapping his hands and transmuting his arm into a blade. This had Envy written all over it.

"Too much of a coward to show me your real face?" Ed sneered, and the face of his mother frowned. "What do you mean?" She asked curiously- as she took a step closer Ed took another step back, towards the water's edge.

"I'm not an idiot Envy," Ed snorted, leaping forward. "Envy?" His mother asked in surprise as he came at her; he came too fast, he had thought Envy would duck his blow with ease and come at him, but his sword passed into her chest before she even blinked.

Ed stood frozen, watching as blood stained the front of his mother's dress crimson. What was Envy playing at; did he think he could rattle him that easy?

"You always were a naughty boy." His mother murmured in disappoint, and Ed stiffened at her voice; it was distorted and low, and he raised his eyes reluctantly to what he knew he would see.

He looked up into the face of the monster he had created, the result of his failed human transmutation attempt. He was too terrified to speak. This was the face that haunted him in his nightmares, and now it was looking down at him. How would Envy know what this creature looked like?

It stared down at him with unspeakably sad violet eyes. "You couldn't fix Mommy, could you?"

OOO

**Memarie**

"Memarie?" Al's voice was faintly frightened as he shook me gently awake. I open my eyes reluctantly and stare at him blearily; I was still exhausted, though I was having trouble remembering why.

"You've been asleep for three hours." Al says gently as I struggle up, looking around the room and immediately noticing we were short a midget.

"Where's Ed?" I ask with a yawn. "That's the problem; he hasn't come back yet." Al says and I'm instantly more alert as I remember leaving Ed in the woods.

"Well, why haven't you gone after him?" I demand, standing up and sticking my feet into my boots. "I wanted to wait for you to wake up first; the buddy system, remember?" Al says meekly as I go for the door. I smile slightly at that and turn to Al. "That's a very good point Al, but right now I want you to stay here in case that idiot comes back; I'll go see if I can find him; if at least one of us doesn't come back by the end of the night I want you to call Mustang and wait for back-up before you come looking." I say firmly as I turn the door handle. "Mmm." Al nods firmly.

"Memarie?" He asks as I step outside. I look back at him, waiting for him to finish. He hesitates a moment before he finally speaks. "Be careful." He says quietly. I smile at him. "I'll be back soon." I promise him as I shut the door behind me.

OOO

After transmuting a face mask out of a strip of cloth I went off in search of Ed, wary of the fumes; Ed had probably gotten sick from them and was resting somewhere, I told myself as I ran through the trees. I couldn't help but wonder at the fear pulsing in my chest, as though my heart knew something I didn't.

The alarm bells were ringing again, and I felt an overwhelming urge to turn tail and flee; something was ahead of me that I shouldn't have anything to do with, but Ed may be in danger; that fact warded off the panic that fluttered in my chest like a trapped bird as I broke through the bushes.

For a moment I saw nothing, wondering if the suspense had been built up for no reason when there was a low groan from nearby.

Even before I saw his body I smelled the blood; the hot acrid tang of it hung heavily over the air; I must have been hallucinating in the dim light of dusk because even the water appeared to be stained crimson.

"Ed." I breathe, my eyes lighting on the sight of a familiar red jacket. My breath caught in my chest with fear as I approach and he didn't stir, not even as I kneeled beside him in the snow and gently rolled him over onto his back.

"Edward?" My voice sounded timid even to me as I stared down at his still face. Holding my breath, I lower my head to his chest and listened intently. He was silent, and cold.

My hand flew to my mouth as I stare down at his still form; how could I go back to Al with the dead body of his brother? How could I go back at all?

For the first time in a long time, I felt something wet roll down my face and soak my mask as I stare down at him, unable to move as I fell backwards, not feeling the icy chill of the snow.

Ed was gone. Edward Elric, perhaps my closet friend, was dead. I close my eyes as an empty gap yawned in my chest and my hands clench into fists.

I sat up again and forced myself to try to figure out what had killed him; but as I look down at him I realize he had gone and I was staring into the smiling face of Tara.

OOO

**Edward**

Ed glanced around him, refusing to let that… that _thing _see his fear as he crouched down low to the ground, hiding under a bush.

What the hell was that thing? It was like it could read his mind, pulling out all of his deepest fears and showing them to him in graphic display; he had relived the death of his mother again and again, among countless other brutal deaths of friends as he had tried to escape; every time he tried to fight it it would change form into a face he couldn't force himself to fight; he had to get out of here.

As he started to creep away he heard a voice call his name; he recognized Memarie's voice instantly and cringed away from it; he had already had to watch that creature take her form on today, he couldn't bear to watch it again.

But another voice joined it soon after and he paused, listening. It sounded like Memarie's, but was softer and almost younger.

"I've missed you sister." It said softly and Ed, wondering what was going on, crept closer, peering out anxiously into the clearing beside the red water.

Memarie was standing just before the waters edge, her face hidden by a mask but her eyes were visible; wide with disbelief and to his surprise shining with tears; Memarie was not one to cry, she hadn't shed one tear even during the recounting of her failed human transmutation attempt.

"Surprised to see me?" His attention was caught by the voice again; he turned his head to see a girl standing in front of him; he could not see her face, but from what he could see she was the same height as Memarie, and had the same body shape and frame but her hair was blonde, falling around her shoulders in soft curls.

"A little." Memarie admitted, though her eyes were wary. Ed silently praised her for her suspicion; she had every right to fear this thing. He waited in silence; the instant it made to attack Memarie or did the cruel things to her like it had done to him he would intervene, but not before. He wouldn't admit it, but he was terrified of this creature.

"I've missed you so much." The girl whispered, stepping forward. Ed jerked his head back in shock at the explosion of thunder and swallowed a scream as the blonde girl exploded before his eyes.

Memarie dusted her hands off, appearing remarkably calm for someone who had just killed a monster- Ed still didn't know what it was, but he was glad it was dead. He made to come out towards her but to his shock the blonde girl started rebuilding herself from the feet up, gathering together like dust as it slowly built up.

She wasn't a blonde girl anymore; her hair was black, as were her clothes as she slowly rebuilt herself from bone to skin; now Ed knew she was a Homunculus.

"Think it would be that easy?" The Homunculus laughed, flicking a piece of dark hair over her shoulder. Memarie stared at her in silence. "Wh-what _are _you?" She breathed, taking a step back, now dangerously close to the water.

"Haven't you guessed?" The girl giggled, taking a step closer. "I'm your Sin."

13


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:**

I'm aware I was quite evil last chapter. I'm more evil this chapter. :D

LOSGAP =D

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_Fallen angels at my feet,_

_Whispered voices at my ear._

_Death before my eyes,_

_Lying next to me I fear._

_She beckons me,_

_Shall I give in?_

_Upon my end,_

_Shall I begin?_

_Forsaking all I've fallen for_

_I rise to meet the end._

_("Whisper", Evanescence.)_

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All I could do was stare at her. This vile mockery of Tara, staring at me with cold violet eyes; she looked like the creature that I had created that night; she _was_ the creature that awoke that night.

"I don't understand." I say weakly. Tara, who had always smiled so joyfully, smirks without a trace of happiness at me.

"You know what a Homunculus is, don't you?" She asks, and my eyes widen. An artificial human. Tara was…

"That's right. That night you created me, _Mom._" She sneers. "Though I would have died if not for Father…" She sighs, and for a moment a trace of affection flickers across her face.

"He kept me from dying, giving me red stones and allowing me to survive." She began to pace, circling me like a wild animal; everything about her was feral, from her smooth grace to her slitted pupils that stared at me hungrily.

"I'm a mystery to him," She murmurs, her eyes never leaving mine. "There's only supposed to be seven, yet I was born even while all seven where there. I suppose others like me have been born while the seven were all alive, but they were not fed properly; Father saved me." She smiles, revealing sharp teeth that glisten in the fading light.

"He says if I am a Sin, I would be Wrath, but there is already a Wrath." She shrugs. "He does have a name for me though; he calls me Nightmare, because that is exactly what I am." She stops and smiles at me. "Fear is not a sin, but it is my power; I can see your deepest fears, and I can show them to you. I can render the strongest man defenseless, weeping on the ground at my feet." She says, and I swallow hard, thinking of Ed without meaning to; had she hurt him?

As though she saw his face register in my mind she grins. "You're little boyfriend's all right. For now." She shrugs. "For a strong boy, he fears the silliest things." She sneers. "But so do you." She resumes pacing again; I turn around slowly, watching her warily; any minute now she might make a move. I had to be ready.

"I thought you were going to wet yourself when you saw me." She smirks. My heart lurches in my chest when she transforms into Edward, who smiles at me chillingly. "I don't know what you see in this form." He/she frowns, looking down at itself. "You got a midget fetish or something?" It asks in Ed's voice and I nearly laugh in her face, but keep myself impassive.

"Oh don't bother trying to hide your emotions." She changes back with a flash of light, regarding me calmly. "I can read everything going on in that head of yours."

Her eyes narrow as I thought some things about her and she scowls. "That's not a nice thing to say about your sister." She says.

"You're not my sister." I hiss, taking a step back and lifting my hands in a defensive stance. "Now tell me what's been going on around here; what's with the water?" I demand, looking over towards the crimson lake.

"Edward didn't tell you?" Nightmare asks in surprise. "Homunculi need red stones to survive; you make them with red water, duh." She rolls her eyes and my heart twists; she was just like Tara, but so different.

"I can't perform alchemy so I had a poor alchemist from nearby make it for me; enough gold and he was willing to do anything for me." She shrugs. "Too bad he was old; I couldn't resist toying with him, he died of a heart attack from fear yesterday." She smiles at me suddenly. "Did you know people can die from fear?" She asks eagerly, taking a step closer. I take several back, keeping my distance.

"It's quite fascinating to watch," She whispers, and suddenly she turns into Tara. I stare at the warm brown eyes I had known for so long and swallow hard. I don't know what she's going to do, but I know whatever it is it will be terrible; I stand frozen, waiting for it.

When she lunges towards me I realize what she has planned; she wants to kill me with the face of my sister; she knew I wouldn't be able to fight back.

I fall backwards onto my back, barely avoiding her kick. I stare up at her as she pulls a knife from her boot; the wicked blade gleams in the dim light as she lifts it up and admires it. "I've waited so long for this." She murmurs, running her eyes over the knife. She looks down at me. "Any last words, sister?" She asks, and I just stare.

How could I fight back? The girl looking back at me was still Tara, as twisted as she was. I didn't know how I was going to lift a finger against her.

The knife flashes through the air in a silver arc; a part of me didn't mind this was the end. I got to see Tara one last time before I died. Slightly comforted, I tip my head towards the darkening sky, offering her easy access to my heart, throat, whatever she wanted to aim for. I didn't care.

Instead of the sound of knife in flesh, there was a sharp shriek of metal against metal and a flash of red. I jerk back as Ed threw himself in front me, holding up his auto mail arm to block the blow.

My eyes widen in surprise as he shields me with his body, pushing himself off the ground towards Tara with a shout of rage. Where had he come from?

_He saved me… again._ I realize as he transmutes his arm to a sword, coming at Tara with fury almost radiating off of him.

Her knife slashes cruelly at his face and he flinches as a streak of red blooms across his face; something inside of me snaps.

This was not Tara. Tara would die before hurting a fly; this twisted creature was nothing like my sister. She was a monster, and she had to be destroyed.

I clap my hands, transmuting my arms into blades as I charge forward, coming to fight at Ed's side.

Sparring with Ed had only been a mere taste of his true fighting abilities; when he was fighting to kill, and as angry as he was now he was like a wild animal.

We fought together with perfectly coordinated moves; we had nothing holding us back now, and we were both highly skilled fighters.

But Tara, who had transformed into Nightmare again, was anything but a push-over- she fought like a wild cat, twisting and striking like a snake with a grace that was anything but human.

I couldn't seem to land a blow on her; Ed wasn't having much more luck then I was, he was steadily growing frustrated as she ducked. "She's worse then you!" He hisses as Nightmare neatly avoids a well-aimed kick. "I should be." Nightmare laughs as she lands a blow on the side of my head, making me stagger.

Ed glances over at me, concern flickering across his face; Nightmare takes advantage of his distraction and sends him sprawling with a blow I didn't even see coming.

"Stay out of this, Edward Elric." Nightmare growls. "This is not your fight. This is between my creator and I." Ed narrows his eyes. "Her fight is my fight." He hisses, lifting his fists in a defensive pose. An emotion I don't recognize flares in me briefly but I extinguish it as quickly as it comes; I don't need distractions right now.

"Very well, I'll have to kill you as well then." Nightmare shrugs. "Ed, she's right." I say softly and he stares at me in disbelief. "You shouldn't die for my mistakes." I say, rising from the ground and shaking my sore head to clear it.

"I'm not abandoning you." Ed snaps. "Besides, I don't plan on dying tonight. That would be an inconvenience." He says, then strikes out towards Nightmare. I throw myself back into the fight, giving myself over to the mindless rush of fighting.

OOO

**Edward**

This stupid Nightmare character was really starting to get on his last nerves- she wasn't letting him land a single blow, sneering at his efforts and being maddeningly quick; he was glad Memarie was fighting beside him; she was certainly keeping the Homunculus on her toes.

He realized just how easy Memarie had been going on him when they had sparred; Memarie was giving blows to Nightmare that would have killed a normal human, but Nightmare dodged half of them- he noticed whenever Memarie landed a blow they didn't heal as quickly as they should have for a Homunculus.

_Wait, that's it!_ He realized in shock as Memarie sliced open a long cut on Nightmare's arm, making the Homunculus hiss in pain. _Homunculi are weakened when around things that remind them of their past; Memarie shares Tara's DNA, they're twin's for God's sake, she's a living weapon against her!_

Neither Memarie nor Nightmare seemed to be aware of this though, and continued the chaos of a fight unlike Ed had ever been in; Memarie turned into a totally different person when fighting; her eyes lost all emotion, and she became a mindless, emotionless killing machine. He found himself a little afraid of her.

Memarie had another advantage; she was wearing a mask, Ed wasn't, and they were still dangerously close to the red water. He could feel the fumes working on him already; he would be rendered useless in minutes, he had to end this quickly. He could feel exhaustion sucking at him, beckoning him into the warm blackness.

He probably would have either collapsed or fled by now, but he had someone to look out for now; there was no way in hell he was going to abandon Memarie.

He didn't even feel the pain as Nightmare plunged her knife into his shoulder, merely grunting and leaping backwards before she could do further damage, but his legs were tired; he sank to the ground, his flesh arm useless from whatever Nightmare had done to it.

There was a blinding flash of light and a shriek as Nightmare shattered into thousands of pieces, blown apart from a lightning bolt Memarie had directed at her without even clapping her hands. She ran to Ed, clapping her hands and putting them on his shoulder.

"That won't kill her, but it'll buy us some time." She murmured, pressing her hands to his bleeding shoulder. Ed relaxed as the dull throbbing began to ease; he could already feel the blood flow beginning to slow.

Memarie grunted suddenly and fell forward, dropping to her knees; Ed saw blood gleam on the back of her head and he turned to have a boot land in his face.

He was sent sprawling into the snow, skidding on his back to land dangerously close to the red water; he scooted away from the deadly toxin and stared at Nightmare.

"That hurt, sister." She scowled, planting a boot on Memarie's back and knocking her into the snow. Ed winced for her, trying to get up but his arm dangled uselessly; Memarie hadn't been able to finish. His auto mail arm shook with the effort of trying to lift himself up; the red water's effects were taking their toll. He couldn't even stand.

"You're out of it." Nightmare observed. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about you anymore." She shrugged, turning back to Memarie. She swore as Memarie leaped up from the snow and plunged her elbow into Nightmare's gut, using her weight to throw herself and the Homunculus backwards.

She knocked Nightmare onto her back, then leaped up to her feet and before Nightmare could react leaped over her, ripping her mask off and tossing it to Edward. "Take it!" She snapped as she returned to the fight. "I can't fight with the damn thing on anyway."

"But you're more sensitive to it then I am!" Ed protested, catching it as it flew towards him. "I'm not the one on the ground!" Memarie retorted as Nightmare leaped up again.

Ed put the mask on, then looked over at the water. There had to be something he could do; it was going to kill them both at this rate.

The Tringham brothers had sucked the water up with trees and then burned them; there was no way he was capable of growing trees, but perhaps he could burn it. It wasn't like water; maybe it would burn.

He clapped his hands together and tentatively pressed an auto mail finger to the sinister red liquid. Almost immediately it burst into flame and he shrank back, crawling away from the burning lake.

He collapsed into the snow, watching the fight. Memarie and Nightmare didn't even glance up at the fire; they were so preoccupied with the other.

It was like watching Memarie and her shadow fight; Nightmare was a polar opposite of Memarie, all blackness and hate while Memarie was light and fire; she didn't seem to be aware of it but sparks flickered in the air around her; small bits of lighting sparked in reaction to her movements, throwing off scattered flashes of light.

He began to wish desperately he could fight for her, struggling anew to get up but discovering he was even weaker then before; if he couldn't even move, how was Memarie still fighting so hard?

He could see signs that the air was beginning to have a toll on her; her face was pale and slick with sweat; her movements were becoming clumsy and she was taking more hits then she was giving.

He was growing steadily more furious at how weak he was as he tried desperately to get up, or at least crawl away from the burning lake; his back felt like it was melting.

His attention was caught as Memarie froze, staring down in surprise at her stomach. Ed's eyes widened in silent horror as she calmly regarded the knife in her abdomen.

"Well this sucks." Memarie remarked. She started to fall backwards and Ed shrieked her name, new strength flowing through him and he managed to crawl another five feet to where Memarie lay still.

"Memarie?" He breathed, trying to get to his knees. Her face was tight with pain, her jaw clenched and her eyes screwed tightly shut.

"That was easy." Nightmare said, calmly wiping the blood-stained knife on the snow. Cold fury raced through Ed and he managed to climb up to his feet, staring at Nightmare with undisguised hatred.

"Aw, isn't that cute? He's mad I hit his girl." The Homunculus sneered at him and he clapped his hands. He didn't know what he was going to do when he could barely move, but this creature would pay.

His thoughts were cut off by an ear-splitting shriek from behind him; he whirled to stare at Memarie, writhing on the ground in pain. Memarie, who had barely blinked when attaching four limbs of auto mail, was screaming, her face contorted with agony.

He started to come towards her but froze as with a shudder she stopped moving, her eyes closed. Fear gripped his heart as he wondered if she was dead. Her eyes snapped open suddenly and Ed sucked in a breath.

Her eyes had changed completely from storm grey to glowing amber, with a black slit in the center like Nightmare's; cat eyes.

"I see you've finally changed." Nightmare said calmly as Memarie rose with startling grace from the ground.

Memarie looked at Edward, and her eyes widened slightly as fear flicked through them. "Don't look at me." She whimpered in a voice that made Ed's voice chill; low and distorted, she sounded exactly like Nina had.

The truth hit him all at once.

Memarie was a chimera.

OOO

He took a terrified step backwards, staring at Memarie in mute horror. "Edward, I…" She cut off, realizing he wasn't listening; he was staring at her sharp fangs that gleamed in the flickering light of the fire behind them.

"I never wanted you to find out." She whispered, her eyes scared. Memarie had never shown fear in front of him, but now she was looking at him with something akin to terror. "Too late for that." Nightmare snorted.

Memarie crouched low to the ground, and Ed's heart broke at the animalistic stance she assumed, rocking side to side on her feet as she stared at Nightmare.

"Let's end this!" She hissed in that horrible voice as she sprang. She let out a fearsome sound like the cry of a puma and threw herself at the Homunculus.

Ed fell to the ground, staring dully at the fight. Memarie was part animal. She wasn't human. What half of her that wasn't metal was part animal; who had done this to her?

The instant he found out he would murder the cruel bastard who did this to her.

She was a well-made chimera, he had to admit, as advanced as the ones back in the Devil's Nest, perhaps more; she was nothing like Nina, she was more human then animal. But as she fought with her Sin, she appeared anything but human; her eyes gleamed with blood lust as she slashed savagely at the Homunculus, making Nightmare shriek as Memarie nearly tore her to pieces.

It was painful to watch. He wanted to scream for her to stop but he knew she would not hear him. She was too far gone now.

He wondered if she had been combined with a cat, or perhaps a big cat; everything about her was feline, from her eyes to her cat-like grace.

He didn't know if she was just too high on adrenaline not to feel it but she was taking a severe beating from Nightmare; almost every inch of her had blood running across her skin, staining the snow blood red all around the pair.

The fire was burning down to the bottom of the lake now; he could feel some strength returning to him, and he kept himself still, trying to save what precious little life he had left.

He watched Memarie and Nightmare fight, trying to keep his mind from trying to figure out what had happened to make her this way; he concentrated on the fight, wondering what he could do to help; Memarie had become incredibly strong after the animal part of her had apparently taken over, but she was weakening from the blood loss- he needed to act quickly.

He clapped his hands and pressed his right hand into the ground, making a transmutation circle appear directly underneath the fighting pair.

Nightmare shrieked with pain as the sealing circle captured her and she staggered, the blood draining from her face.

Memarie crouched low to the ground in front of her in a cat-like stance, hissing as she backed away from the blood-red liquid that spilled out of Nightmare's throat.

Nightmare bent over and retched, vomiting red stones up onto the snow; the circle was forcing her to give up her life source; without the stones she was powerless.

Memarie didn't miss her chance and leaped forward with a snarl, slashing viciously at her Sin. Nightmare didn't even cry out as blood blossomed on her chest, caused by Memarie's sword like arms. She merely smiled at Memarie.

"It's over." She murmured as Memarie landed, skidding on the ice and staring at Nightmare. She crumbled in on herself, her body arching in agony as she slowly dissolved away.

Memarie stared at where her body had once been, trembling. "Memarie…" Ed's voice was hoarse and cracked a little as he tried to speak; he couldn't think of anything to say. It was al over. What could he say?

Memarie didn't respond, dropping to her knees and onto her side, her body shaking like it had when she had turned into that cat-like creature.

Ed cried out and hurried to her side, his mind spinning with tiredness as he rushed to her side, staring down at her quivering form.

"I'm sorry you had to see this." Memarie hissed, her spasms ceasing. She opened her eyes and stared up at him with tired gray eyes and he let out a sigh of relief that at least she was back to normal. She smiled sadly at him and allowed her eyes to drift shut again.

"Memarie?" Ed demanded, lifting her head off the ground and shaking her. Her head lolled limply back; she felt cold in his arms. He called her name again, and again, but she didn't respond, growing steadily colder.

It couldn't end this way. She couldn't die, not like this. Not at the hands of that horrible creature; she deserved so much more then dying alone in the snow.

"No… please no. Memarie!" He shook her again. His only response was the crackle of flames from behind him.

6


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:**

Well I'm sure you all hate me now, for springing that on you last chapter.

xD

That was fun. I've never actually shocked my readers before, so I'm glad I was able to do that.

Well, let's get onto the chapter- please review when you finish! :D

LOSGAP =D

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_So what if you can see_

_The darkest side of me?_

_No one will ever change_

_This animal I have become._

_("Animal I Have Become", Three Days Grace)_

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**Edward**

It certainly seemed like he was spending a lot of time in hospitals lately.

His leather boots clicked on the bright linoleum as he walked, anger thrumming through him until his body felt like a live wire.

Alphonse had to hurry to keep up with him, concern radiating off of him as he watched his brother storm down the halls of the hospital.

It had been Alphonse who had called for help- he said as soon as he heard thunder that he knew something was wrong, even before he saw smoke in the distance.

His hands clenched into fists as he remembered how they'd carried her away, wrapped in a sheet like she was a corpse- they had all thought she was, she had stopped breathing and her skin was ice-cold.

But somehow, she was alive; her heart was still beating, but that was the only indication she was clinging to life. The doctors said something about "brain inflammation" when they had examined her, whatever that meant. They hadn't even let him see her for the past three days.

They said something about there being little to no chance she would wake up, but they obviously didn't know Memarie. A bitter smile twitched at his lips. Clearly, he didn't know her either.

He hadn't even told Al about what Memarie was; he was still trying to convince himself he hadn't been imaging things. But Memarie's feline eyes felt as though they were burned into his brain permanently.

He took a deep breath outside the door that led to Memarie's room before he opened it; his arm didn't even ache in protest anymore. Whatever Memarie did to his shoulder had sped up the healing process to the point there was hardly a bruise now.

"I see you finally came to visit, Fullmetal." He stiffened in shock, his eyes widening at the sight of Mustang sitting in a chair beside Memarie's bed.

He was leaning back in his chair, his feet propped up on Memarie's bed, a book in his lap. He grinned at Ed. "Surprised to see me?"

"What do you care about her?" Ed demanded, jerking his head towards Memarie; once his eyes landed on her though, he sucked in a breath, unable to look away.

She was so… _frail. _Weak. Defenseless. He'd never once used those words to describe the Storm Alchemist before, but looking at her now, he couldn't compare her with the fearless young woman he had thought he knew.

Her skin was sallow and translucent; he could see her veins plainly beneath her skin. Her head was wrapped in a bandage, covering even her ears. Her right arm was in a cast.

Beside him, Al let out a little strangled gasp of shock; clearly he was as shaken at the sight of Memarie as he was. Edward watched in silence as Alphonse stepped forward to place the flowers he had transmuted on Memarie's bedside table. Roy's eyes followed him as well, then flickered back to Edward.

"I'm not here for her." He said, closing his book and sitting up- Edward noticed with a flash of annoyance his boots left a scuff of dirt on Memarie's otherwise pearly white sheets.

"Then who are you here for?" Alphonse asked, turning to the Colonel. "Both of you." He said, folding his fingers and fixing them with stern looks. "I hope you two don't plan on staying here to wait for her to wake up."

"Of course we are." Al said in surprise while Ed narrowed his eyes at him. Did he think he was just going to abandon his friend?

"Didn't you hear what the doctors said?" Mustang demanded. "She's practically a vegetable; there's no point."

"Vegetable?" Alphonse repeated in horror. Ed flinched, glancing reflexively towards Memarie. Looking at her now, it wasn't hard to believe she really was in a vegetative state. But he refused to accept that; she had been through too damn much to waste away in hospital bed.

"Whatever happened to her," Mustang's eyes flickered to Edward, who looked away stubbornly. He wouldn't speak of what happened; they didn't need to know about Memarie's Sin, or her secret. "She certainly sustained incredible injuries. We're all surprised she's even alive at this point."

"Exactly why we have to stay." Ed pointed out, sitting down at the foot of Memarie's bed, since Mustang occupied the only chair in the room. He wasn't going to let her die alone- or die at all, for that matter.

Mustang just shook his head, an infuriatingly pitying look creeping across his face. "You don't even know who she is." He pointed out softly. "And you do?" Ed snapped.

"I know more about her then you do." Mustang replied and Ed clenched his fists, doubting it but not willing to voice his reasons.

"You two have come too far to wait around for months, even years, waiting for something that will never happen and putting off your mission." Mustang said and Ed clenched his jaw. Memarie was a part of that mission now, had he forgotten that?

"We want to get Memarie's body back too." Al said firmly. "We're not going to abandon her now."

"You might think differently if you knew her real story." Mustang snorted. For some reason, Ed got a chill at his words, as though he knew he wouldn't like to hear this story.

"Memarie isn't the do-gooder you seem to fixate her as." Mustang said, leaning forward in his chair to look Ed dead in the eyes. Edward stared right back, refusing to squirm under his steady look.

"Then please, do tell." Edward said dryly. A smirk pulled at Mustang's lips, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"She's a murderer, Edward." He said, and Alphonse gasped. "You're lying." Ed said flatly. "Do you really think I would lie about something like this?" Mustang demanded. "She's killed more people then you've ever fought in your life."

"What are you talking about?" Alphonse asked, his voice shaking with horror. "Do you know about her sister?" Mustang asked, glancing from him to Alphonse. They both nodded- Edward had told Alphonse Memarie's story; he saw no reason for him not to know, since Memarie knew his.

"Did she tell you what she did afterwards?" Mustang asked, leaning back in his chair again.

He took their silence as a no.

"I had just been assigned to Ishval," Mustang began. "It was my first day there, the day before we were to exterminate the resistance.

"I remember that night well; there was so much thunder, though there was no rain, or even a single cloud in the sky. At first we put it off as dry lightning, but then the first bodies were discovered.

"They were mutilated beyond recognition, blown up from the inside out, burned to crisps. Fingers were pointed; some accused me, some accused Kimbley; we were both found innocent, of course, since we had alibis.

"All that night we searched for who was doing this; it wasn't a soldier, and we feared they would come for us next. I realized that where the sound of thunder came from, bodies were usually found, so I followed the thunder. And then… I saw her.

"She had a man by the throat, screaming something about how it was all his fault… and then, she blew him up. I didn't even see her use a circle. She collapsed then, unconscious. I tied her hands together, and when I rolled her over I saw she was wearing a Philosopher's Stone on a necklace. As I picked it up though, it crumbled in my fingers. She had used it to its full power, and it had taken all of her energy with it.

"That night, she slaughtered forty-eight people in total. There may have been more, but we stopped counting. She was arrested of course, and taken away; I thought she was put to death, but obviously she's very much alive. She must have escaped." He frowned at Memarie thoughtfully. "As soon as I heard rumors of a teenage doctor who could cure with alchemy I knew it must have been her." He said.

"How… how did you know it was her?" Al's voice was somehow hoarse. Edward stared at his hands, clenched into fists in his lap, watching them tremble with barely suppressed rage.

"Her uncle's my best friend; I was well acquainted with her family. I've seen enough pictures of her to last me a lifetime." Mustang snorted.

Edward stared at Memarie's still form, fury making his limbs quiver. Words like "murderer" and "killer" ran through his mind as he stared at her, shaking with anger.

He had trusted her. Again and again, he had trusted this murderer. He had put his _life_ in those blood-stained hands! He felt dirty, remembering how much he had used to enjoy her touch, savoring the way his skin tingled pleasantly at her gentle, healing touch…

He shuddered all over and stood, turning his back to the girl he had once thought he would lay his life down for. Now he couldn't imagine looking her in the eye ever again.

"Brother?" Alphonse asked quietly. "We're leaving." Ed said stiffly. "She can find her own damn Stone. She found one once, she'll do it again." He growled, stalking from the room. He did not wait for his brother, slamming the door behind him as he left.

OOO

**Roy**

Perhaps he had been a little harsh; he hadn't though Edward could look at someone with such cold fury.

_Maybe he cared for her more then I thought…_ He wondered as Alphonse followed silently after his brother, closing the door quietly behind him. Where Edward had seemed infuriated, Alphonse just seemed disappointed, as though he had expected more from Memarie.

Still, those boys had sacrificed too much to give up the search now, when they were so close. Especially for her.

He stood up and stared down at her. He felt a flash of guilt for leaving her; she would be in here alone for God knew how long.

Maes would have never left her side; then again, Maes would have never let his precious niece get herself in this situation anyway. He had cared far too much to let her anywhere near danger. He would have shot Roy for letting this happen.

_You're not even here yet I can practically hear you criticizing me, you obnoxious bastard. _Roy scowled as he sat back down, picking up his book with a resigned sigh.

OOO

**Memarie**

"Well, that's the last of them." I sigh in relief, leaning my head on Tara's shoulder and closing my eyes.

"Ugh. I know." Tara groans, resting her head on mine, both of us supporting each other.

It had been such a long day; people kept coming in, there was so much gunfire nearby that residents were getting shot all over the place.

"I wish Mom and Dad were here." Tara says quietly and I stiffen. "Don't talk like that." I growl. We had managed without them for years; we were fine on our own, if a bit lonely.

"Do you think this war will ever end?" I wonder aloud and Tara shrugs under my head. "I hope so." We both flinch as a gunshot rang in the night. "I hope that's not another patient." She says worriedly.

"Let's just go to bed." I grunt, standing up and stretching tiredly. "Night." Tara says and I nod, knowing she'll come to bed when she's tired, so I leave her.

OOO

"Sir, you're not dying." I say patiently, patting the young blonde's shoulder. "It's just a flesh wound."

"But it _kills._" He moans, writhing on the examination table. I just pull a piece of chalk out of my pocket and draw a transmutation circle on the wood, instructing him to put the thigh with the gunshot wound in it directly over it. He obeys and I touch my hands to the edge of the circle.

He gasps in surprise as I heal his wound quickly, not even leaving a scar. "Wow." He breathes, flexing his leg. "How do you do that?"

"My parents studied in Xing for a while and learned alkahestry." I reply. Seeing his blank look I add, "It's their equivalent of alchemy, and they use it a lot for healing purposes."

"Oh." He still looks confused, but shrugs. "Thanks though, you're a life-saver." He says, getting up and leaving. I smile slightly after him and go to wash the blood off my hands, calling for the next patient.

There's no answer, so I go out to the kitchen, where we usually have patients wait, but it's empty. I sigh in relief that we had a light load today, then suddenly wonder where Tara is.

Thunder rumbles and I blink, a slow grin spreading across my face as I realize exactly where she is.

I go outside and, sure enough, she's dancing with the rain.

She's even more skilled with storms then I am; she doesn't even have to clap her hands like I do. I look down at my own hands, with the complex transmutation circle tattooed into the palms and scowl; I just wasn't as gifted as she was.

I lean back against the door frame, content to just watch my twin dance, her blonde hair flaring around her, bright as a flame in the lightning that arches around her, completely oblivious to the outside world.

OOO

**Author's Note:**

For those of you who didn't get it, Memarie is in a memory. I thought it would be beneficial to the plotline for everyone to get a glimpse into Memarie's past.

Please review- I look forward to reading your thoughts (no flames please) and predictions- see you guys later! :D

LOSGAP =D

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	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys, LOSGAP here again, with the new chapter! Yay!

Brace yourselves; this is going to be one HEAVY chapter, lots of stuff going on.

LOSGAP =D

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_Desperate I will crawl,_

_Waiting for so long,_

_No love._

_There is no love._

_Die for anyone,_

_What have I become?_

_("Diary of Jane", Breaking Benjamin)_

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**Alphonse**

Alphonse watched his brother pretend to sleep, as usual sitting up on his bed, patiently waiting for daybreak.

If Ed wanted to talk about it, then he would- he probably thought Al couldn't tell he was awake, but from his height Al could easily see the side of Ed's face; his amber eyes were wide open, staring towards the window, the moonlight casting a ghoulish glow to his skin.

He still couldn't believe Memarie was a killer. It felt so wrong to think of her like that, but a part of him had guessed all along; and with a Philosopher's Stone!

He had a sudden flashback, back when they had battled the Scarecrow.

_Flashback._

_Memarie held out the necklace with the fake Philosopher's Stone out to Ed, who took it and examined it quickly. _

"_A good imitation," He said. "Not very large though." _

"_What should we do with it?" Memarie asked, frowning at it curiously. "I don't know- turn it in, I guess." Ed shrugged and held out the necklace to her. "Unless _you _want it." He added. Memarie slapped it away from him, making Al jump. _

"_Keep that away from me." She hissed._

_End flashback._

Al's eyes widened as he stared at the wall. He had forgotten about that; at the time he had thought she knew the main ingredient to Stones and had been disgusted with it for that reason- but now he could guess why the sight of it had lit a fire in her eyes.

He wondered if he should say something to Ed about it; he usually shared his every thought with his brother, but right now Ed practically had "Do not disturb" written on his forehead.

He was lying with his back to Al, his shoulders hunched with grief as he stared ahead at the window with hollow eyes. And he was grieving; they had lost the girl they had thought they knew; the old Memarie had died with Mustang's story, revealing the new, cold version of her.

"I admit it; I was scared that night." Ed said suddenly and Al raised his head in surprise. Ed had told him about the Homunculus- Memarie's Sin- that had tried to kill him and Memarie, but little else. This was the first time he had spoken of what really happened.

"In fact, I can't remember being that scared in a long time." He admitted. He was silent for a little while after that. "What happened?" Al pressed, losing his patience.

For a short while Edward didn't reply; finally, his voice broke the silence.

"I thought I was going to die." He said quietly. "And I was ready for it, I accepted that without hesitation. I just wanted Memarie to get out of there alive." His auto mail hand tightened into a fist and he stared at it, watching the metal gleam in the silver light.

"But you didn't die," Alphonse reminded him. "You both got out alive." He would always be grateful for that fact; he had been so scared for his brother and his friend.

"But at what cost?" Ed demanded harshly. Al just stared at him in confusion. "You have no idea what we went through that night." He whispered hoarsely. "I thought she had died in my arms." Al's eyes widened slightly; he couldn't imagine what Ed had to have felt.

"And she did die." He said bitterly, pulling his blanket tightly around him. "She's not Memarie anymore; she's a cold-blooded killer, and I want nothing to do with her." He growled, closing his eyes.

He didn't say anymore after that.

Alphonse sighed as he watched his brother, wishing there was a way he could comfort him. He would try to cheer him up in the morning; tonight, he would let his brother grieve in peace.

Just as he turned to lie down, to give himself the illusion he was sleeping, he thought he saw something he hadn't seen in a long time. He turned his head in shock, staring in bewilderment at Edward's still form before he turned around again, deeming it as a trick in the moonlight.

Edward hadn't cried in years; that tear he had seen flash in the moonlight must have been his imagination.

OOO

**Memarie**

"More pictures?" Tara guesses with a sigh as I open the letter and, sure enough, a few photos of Uncle Maes's wife Gracia fell out of the envelope. I sweat drop. "Yup."

"What's the letter say? Is he coming to visit?" Tara asks eagerly, coming up behind me to peer over my shoulder at the letter.

"You ask that every week." I snort, setting the letter down. "Just the usual; wants to know how we are, blah blah blah, his wife is the cutest thing _ever_, blah blah blah…" I roll my eyes.

"Of course." Tara sighs. She brightens suddenly. "I can't wait to see his house! Oh, it's going to be so great! Once the war's over, we can _finally _go live with him and be a family!" She says, spinning in a circle with her arms out wide.

"You can go anytime you like." I point out. "I'm staying here to make sure everyone survives; I can always meet up with you." I say and she shakes her head vehemently. "I said we would be a family; it won't be a family without you." She rolls her eyes.

"We are a family." I say briskly, going to set a kettle of water to boil. "Just you and me. We can make it a few more years." I say and a shadow crosses Tara's face.

"Years?" She asks quietly. I turn to her, and sigh. "The war's been going on our entire lives." I remind her gently. "I doubt it'll end anytime soon."

She stares down at the kitchen table, tracing her finger on the whorls and knots in the wood. "I'm just so sick of the all the killing." She says softly.

"I go out at night sometimes," She admits quietly. I nod, having heard her sneak out. "I go out to where I hear the gunshots." She closes her eyes and a tremor ripples through her. "It's so terrible over there." She whispers. "So much blood…" She bows her head, her long blonde curls falling in front of her face. I walk over and wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a comforting hug.

"I go and I bury the lost ones." She sobs into my chest. "Because there's no one left to do it for them- the army just burns them up, but they deserve more then that!" She cries. I shush her and rub her back soothingly. "It's ok." I murmur.

"No, it's not ok!" She exclaims, pushing me away. I stare at her in concern. "I bury _children_." She hisses, her brown eyes filled with tears. "Babies! Little boys and girls, barely older then us!" She starts to shake, and a wild light enters her eyes. "Sometimes they're still being held by their mothers." She whispers. "They shoot them like that, clinging to each other for dear life. They look so scared…" She shakes her head and turns for the door, throwing it open.

"You can't go out now!" I protest; I can hear the gunshots from here. She turns to me and smiles brightly. "I have to go save them." She says, and closes the door behind her.

OOO

I didn't go with her. I should have, but I didn't.

Instead, I waited. And waited. And waited.

She never came home.

The next day, I went looking, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she was still looking for survivors, burying the dead.

I found her body lying beside the road, her dress torn, blood scattered all around her. Blood that wasn't her own; she had been trying to help people. The people who had killed her.

I did not even cry. Instead I sat down beside her, put her head in my lap and combed my fingers through her blood-caked hair. I sang to her as I cleaned her off, sang until my throat ached and I could barely force the words through my cracked lips. She had loved it when I sang to her.

I buried her there, beside the road. Beside the lost ones she had fought for, had died for. I didn't even use alchemy to dig a hole, I dug it myself.

I used alchemy only to cover her grave with lilies. They had been her favorite. After I finished I sat and stared at her grave for the rest of the night, watching the ghostly pale flowers wave and flicker in the wind.

OOO

I found the men who had done this to her; I knew it was them. Who else would be wandering down the road with half healed wounds and blood on their shirts?

I killed them before they even knew I was there. I didn't even think about it; I had just walked and walked until I found them. Now here I stood, staring at the three dead bodies, smoking slightly.

My hand went to my mouth and my eyes widened in horror. _Murderer. _The label would forever be written in blood upon my heart.

I bent over and was sick in the bushes, disgusted with myself and by the smell of their burning flesh. When I straightened, I discovered I wasn't alone.

"Nice work there," The woman said. I stared at her in silence. She was beautiful, even in my numb, horrified state I could see that, with her pale ivory skin and her long black hair.

"What do you want?" I ask hoarsely, wiping my mouth on my sleeve as I stare at her. "I think the question is, what do _you_ want?" She asks, coming closer. I want to retreat, but remain still, wondering what she means.

"I know what these horrible men did to your sister." She says and my eyes widen in shock. "I would have killed them myself for such a cruel deed, but I knew the duty belonged to you." She says and my eyes narrow. "Duty?" I repeat, glaring at her. "I'm just as horrible as they are now." I say, staring at my hands. Hands that had healed many, but now were worthless after what they had done.

"Ishvalans are an inferior race." She says, waving a hand. "They're all like this. Killing each other, killing innocents… it's never going to end, is it?" She asks, coming towards me again. "Not unless someone is brave enough to stop it." She whispers.

"How would I stop it?" I demand, trying not to look interested. "With this." She lifts her hand and holds out a small red stone on a necklace. The stone captures my attention like a hypnotists jewel, and I stare at it, captivated.

"This is a Philosopher's Stone." She says, lifting it and placing it around my neck. I shudder all over, feeling the power ripple through me.

"Avenge your sister," She whispers, her lips close to my ear. "She wanted nothing more then for this to stop. Now you have the power to do it; with this Stone, you can use your powers all you want." My eyes widen in shock- no limit? Two bolts was usually my limit, without that I would be _unstoppable…_

"Go." She whispers again. "She would be so proud of you." I close my eyes and clench my fists. "Yes." I say, my eyes snapping open. "Tara would have helped me if she were here." I stare down at the bodies and smirk. They were just the first to go.

"I'll stop this war." I whisper fiercely, staring towards the buildings in the distance. "Once they're all dead, it will end. She can rest in peace." I turn towards the woman, wanting to thank her, but she is gone.

OOO

I didn't stop to look at their faces; I only kept going, destroying as I ran through the streets, the power pulsing through me at every step.

Their faces, their identities did not exist to me; just more fuel to the fire that was my power, with each one I destroyed I became even stronger. I began to enjoy the feeling of their lives in my hands just before I took them away; I was god.

I cut them down, one by own, reveling in my strength. "This is for Tara!" I would shriek as I took their lives; sometimes I mixed it up, killed them with a knife of a gun left in the streets, but it wasn't the same as using my lightning, to _feel _them die.

But then the Stone ran out; I didn't realize I had used the last of my strength until the man was dead at my feet and I was falling, unable to support myself.

I could only stare at the ceiling as blackness smothered my vision, and I wondered if I was going to join the lives I had taken; I hoped so. They would take me to Tara.

OOO

I awoke in a dark room; for a minute, I thought I had died and was grateful, but then I became aware of something cold and hard wrapped around my wrists and ankles. Shackles. I was tied up in the dark like a dog.

I panic, straining at my chains and crying out as they bit into my skin, flinching away from the pain.

"Hold still," A voice offers. "You'll just cut yourself up." I whimper and shrink away from the voice.

"Relax." The voice chuckles. "I ain't gonna bite you." As my eyes adjust, I can see the source of the voice slumped against the wall opposite me; a woman, I realize.

"So, you're that serial killer someone set loose in Ishval, eh?" She asks in amusement. "Wouldn't have guessed it; you're pretty young for a killer." I close my eyes as memories from that night crash down on me. What had I _done?_

"Well, you're in for it now." The woman says. "I can hear them coming- it was nice knowing you, kid." She sounds a little sad now. "What? Hear who coming?" I demand, lifting my head and staring wildly towards the door. "Relax. It'll be over soon." She says sympathetically just as the doors open.

"What will be over?!" I shriek as some men come in and I flatten myself against the wall, staring at them in terror. What was happening?!

"Don't fight back!" The woman calls as I kick out at one of the men as he grabs my arm. "They'll kill you! Just calm down and let them do it!"

"Do what?!" I cry as I'm dragged towards the door. The woman watches me go, and salutes me as they shut the door behind me.

"Where are you taking me?" I beg as I'm half-led, half dragged down the black hallways. "Shut up." One voice growls. I obey, too terrified not to.

I'm led to a room with a small white bed in the center of it. I plant my feet and consider trying to blast my way out; I'm exhausted though, I wouldn't get far. Besides, my hands are tired with the backs of them pressed together; I can't activate the circles on my palms.

I'm forced down onto the bed, and strapped down tightly.

"What are you doing?" I demand as I see someone lift a tube with a needle at the end; my eyes follow the tube to a large container filled with a red liquid at the other side of the room. From here I can read a label on it- "panther." My eyes widen in terror as he plunges it into my arm and I scream.

Whatever is in the tube, it races through my blood like fire and I can't stop screaming as the fire rages through my veins, burning me up and tearing me apart.

I don't know how long this torture lasted before I black out; I only remember nearly sobbing with relief as the blackness came for me once again.

OOO

"She's coming to- another survivor."

"Stay back, she'll be violent."

I growl deep in my throat as I hear the voices. I can hear their hearts pounding in their chests, pulsing their life-blood through their veins. It's a delicious sound; why have I not heard it before?

I open my eyes and blink in surprise at the ceiling. Everything was so _clear_; I felt as though I could see everything in the room.

I turn my head, staring at the two men left in the room, waiting by the door. One of them grins at me. "How do you feel?" He asks. His words remind me of the man who brought me here and I growl, remembering the pain.

I hiss as I strain against the leather straps and I struggle furiously, feeling them strain under my new strength.

"Shit- get the guns!" One of the doctors screams as I begin clawing at the restraints, then my eyes widen in horror. Claws; not fingers, _claws. _

I yowl in terror and leap backwards, snapping the straps and smacking against the wall, staring wildly around.

"Let me out of here!" A distorted, horrible voice screams; after a minute I realize it is mine.

A bullet flies into the wood beside my head and I hiss, anger suddenly turning my vision red and blotting out all other emotions.

I snarl at the two doctors and lunge, dropping down on all fours before I leap up and slash at them, knocking them out of my way; one screams, his cries gurgled before they cease- with a start I realize I have killed him.

The other doctor is already gone and I ignore him, looking around wildly for an escape. More bullets rain down around me and I yowl in fury, turning to race down the corridors.

In my human state I had barely been able to see; now I could see every little detail, including the large window at the end of the hall.

I race on all fours, my paw like hands and feet eating up the ground in long strides as I gather myself and leap for the window, shutting my eyes tight as the glass rains down around me.

I land on my feet on the ground, my paws absorbing the shock; I have no time to marvel at my agility, for there are more gunshots. I shriek in terror and dash away into the night, racing through the abandoned streets.

No one chases me, but I run with a wild terror, too scared to look behind me. What am I? What have I become?

I ran all through the night, never stopping. The more tired I get, the more I feel the panther's spirit taking over my body.

I give myself over to it, allowing it to have full control as I run through the dark forest, my steps becoming light and silent; the stride of a killer.

I yowl in pain as this thought hits me and run faster, bursting through the bushes and running across a desert, my heavy paws sinking into the cool sand.

When I smell blood I stop, hunger and curiosity clawing at me until I turn and prowl towards the scent, keeping myself low.

I stop by a puddle, the scent of water appealing to my parched mouth and I drink deeply, closing my eyes in bliss at the simple pleasure.

When I open my eyes though, I nearly cry out again. The yellow cat eyes, set in a black panthers face staring back at me widen in horror as we stare at each other.

This was the fate of a murderer like me, the punishment for my crimes. I hang my head, a scared whimper escaping me.

The scent of blood pulls me out of my self-pity and I raise my head, following the scent.

I come across blood spilled across a dusty road; I shrink away from it, wondering why it stirs up memories.

That was when I saw the lilies, and I understood; Tara had called me back to her. I pad forward until I am lying down on her grave and I lower my head onto my paws, closing my eyes.

Everything had gone wrong after I had lost her, so very, very fast. I could still barely comprehend it. I had killed; I had destroyed. So many lives…

And I had received my due punishment for this. I had been taken into prison for my crimes and turned into… _this._

I growl and open my eyes, staring at the dirt that covered my sister's body.

This was all because she was gone; if I brought her back, that would change everything.

**Author's Note:**

Yeah I know, I dumped a lot on you with this chapter, but I was feeling generous.

:)

So yeah. Review please, and tell me what you think! :D

LOSGAP =D

10


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys! We're back with more flashbacks- this time we'll be covering Memarie's human transmutation attempt.

I know a few of you guys think that it's Mary Sueish for Memarie to keep coming back to the Gate for her sister- those of you who think that obviously don't understand twins.

Ah yes. The LOSGAP is part of a matching set. Are you surprised? Scared?

It's not Mary Sueish to love someone that much to be willing to go through Hell to bring them back, especially with the bond between twins.

I lost my twin a long, long time ago; I know that if given the chance I would do what Memarie did; I'd give my life to bring her back, if I could.

No point in dwelling on things we can't change; she's gone, I've accepted that- Memarie can't, but of course you knew that already.

Let's get on with the chapter, ne? :)

LOSGAP =D

* * *

_I remembered black skies  
The lightning all around me  
I remembered each flash  
As time began to blur  
Like a startling sign  
That fate had finally found me  
And your voice was all I heard  
That I get what I deserve…_

_(Linkin Park, "New Divide")_

* * *

Thunder rumbled in the black sky, making the entire room shake. I close my eyes, feeling it resonate deep within my bones.

_It's time._

I was ready. After so many years of studying, I was ready.

It had been so difficult to study human transmutation with arousing suspicion, but somehow, I succeeded. The only one whose notice I hadn't escaped had been Uncle Hughes.

Roy, that bastard, had told him I was dead. He would have thought so, after sending me to jail the way he did. Did he really think I would have survived unscathed? Because of him, I was now a chimera, a hideous, twisted creature that was wretched to the very core.

I had toyed with the idea of killing him for what he had done to me, but decided against it. I couldn't have any more blood on my hands; the thought of killing again made me sick.

Besides, a part of me still remembered him as the friend that Hughes brought with him sometimes when he had come to visit; Tara had had a crush on him. I smile at that as I look towards the pile of human ingredients in the center of the human transmutation circle.

_Maybe I'll take you to visit him, sis. _

Hughes had written to me time and time again, his letters frantic- he would be coming soon, he had written he was coming to at least move Tara's body to a decent graveyard. Soon though, that wouldn't be necessary.

I wonder briefly if Tara would like to see her grave, to see the lilies I had planted for her.

Hughes thought I was dead, as I hadn't written back yet. Obviously the army had probably told him I had been executed; he would have no reason to come look for me.

I felt a flash of regret he had been thinking I was dead this entire time; I couldn't wait to see his surprise when Tara and I showed up on his doorstep, alive and whole.

Tara would be so happy the war was over. I couldn't wait to see her excited smile when I told her it was finally over. I couldn't wait to see her again, period.

My whole body trembles with the ache of missing her and I kneel beside the circle, taking a calming breath as I slowly lower my hands to the edge of the circle, unable to keep an excited grin off my face.

Yellow light races around the circle like a flame and I look at eagerly, waiting for Tara to come out of the circle.

But suddenly the light turns purple and I stare at it, feeling cold dread clutch at my heart with icy fingers. Something was wrong.

My animalistic instinct screamed for me to run away just as a huge gate suddenly opens up before me and I am dragged inside.

I cry out in terror and pain as black tentacle like things coil around my leg. My eyes widen in horror as my leg vanishes before my eyes, dragged away into the blackness around me.

The tentacles surround my head and I shriek in pain as information is shoved roughly into my head, flooding my mind.

My head feels as though it's going to split open; all I can hear are voices, whispering something about a "toll".

I find myself back at the circle, doubled over in agony and clutching my leg. I grit my teeth shut. It wasn't that bad, I told myself. It was nothing compared to the panther's spirit racing in my veins.

Somehow I knew that if I clap my hands, I would form a transmutation circle with my body, and not need to get some chalk or something. I clap my hands together and hold my leg, gasping as I knit it back together, trying to keep myself from dying of blood loss.

_(A/N: I decided to take that bit from Brotherhood where Ed automatically knows to clap his hands, instead of how in the original anime it takes him forever to figure it out.)_

_Tara. _I realize suddenly and raise my head hopefully, peering through the smoke to the center of the circle.

When my eyes land on the creature, my heart suddenly stops.

It can't be Tara. It's a half-formed being with piercing violet eyes, only bones and organs. It reaches a hand towards me, gasping for air. With a sudden cough its arm falls limp and I shriek in terror as it dies.

"No!" I beg, clapping my hands again and slamming them down on the edge of the circle. I can't give up now, not when I'm so close.

I'm at the Gate again. I know it by name now, with the information stored in my mind. I stare up at it and swallow hard. Will it demand another toll?

"Give her back." I croak as I drag myself forward, trying to reach it. "Give me back my sister!"

"How touching." A voice whispers and I flinch at the coldness of it. The panther inside hisses with distrust.

"You really came back, just to try and get your sister back?" It asks, sounding amused. I nod shakily and the voice sighs. "Such a shame. You had such very nice legs." My eyes widen as the tentacles surround my other leg but I don't fight back, watching mutely as my leg is dragged away.

I'm back at the circle, my blood pouring out of my leg and suddenly I am lightheaded. I sway slightly as I clap my hands and heal my leg, shaking my head to clear it. Tara will be alive by now… won't she?

I look towards the circle and my eyes widen. She's exactly the same, still not breathing. Still dead. Still, somehow, Tara.

"You _again?_" The Gate snorts when I appear in front of it. "Please." I beg, staring up at it beseechingly. "You have to give her back."

"I don't have to do anything." It retorts. "You, however, must pay the toll." I nod silently. "Whatever it takes to get Tara back."

OOO

I don't remember much after that, only a crushing sense of failure. Unable to stop the bleeding from the loss of both my arms, I had only been able to lie still and stare at Tara's half-grown form. It didn't even look like her, but in my half-mad state I could only see her beautiful face smiling back at me, unable to hate me even in my failure.

I remember waking up though.

I groan softly when I realize that I must be alive. I doubted you felt any pain after death, or at least a lot more then this if you went to Hell, where I was certainly going. I could feel a mind-numbing ache in my shoulders and thighs. I wonder why they hurt before the memories of last night crash down on me and I remember.

"Oh." I whisper, pain flashing through me. I had failed.

"You're awake." A voice breathes in relief. I open my eyes slowly, recognizing the voice. I stare up at him in shock. "Uncle Maes?" I croak, my eyes widening. He grins down at me, somehow able to smile. "In the flesh."

"How…?" I stare at him. He sighs then, removing his glasses. "I came back for Tara." He admits, leaning back in his chair. I realize for the first time I'm in a bed, but am too entranced by his story to look around my room curiously.

"I was passing by the house when I heard you screaming." He says and I close my eyes, remembering. "I came in and found you with no limbs…" He shook his head, his eyes horrified. "There was something in a transmutation circle next to you; it turned to look at me, and to be honest it was so damn scary I shot it dead." I flinch and shut my eyes tight, my shoulders tensing.

"I took you here because since you didn't have any limbs I figure you would want some new ones, and I know a kid who got his auto mail from here." He says, and I open my eyes and look at him. "Auto mail?" I repeat in shock. I hadn't even considered the thought of it. "Yeah." He says, then smiles crookedly at me. "Damn strongest kid I've ever met; he reminds me a lot of you." He admits and I just look at him, unable to smile back.

"Anyway," He clears his throat. "Do you want to go ahead with the surgery? They said they wanted to do it right away; leave more time for your recovery." He explains and I nod. I couldn't stand laying here, only a torso. Where I had usually been able to feel my hands and legs I could only feel an aching emptiness.

Just another price to pay for what I had done.

"Let's do it." I say firmly.

OOO

I had immediately decided I liked Winry Rockbell. She was young, my age, but her knowledge of auto mail was expansive.

She was beautiful, I could appreciate that even as she was cutting each individual nerve and encasing my body in pain unlike any I had known before. It was almost as bad as when the panther's blood had entered my veins; almost, but not quite.

I stared at her pretty blue eyes, trying to ignore the pain as she kept talking, telling me stories of her childhood. It was so hard to pay attention though; every movement of her knife would immediately grab my attention and I would lose focus as I tried not to scream.

Pinako was almost as good as Winry at trying to keep me distracted; her stories usually were a bit more engaging, not as light as Winry's. I trusted her instantly; the panther's spirit liked her, and encouraged me to talk to her.

It liked Winry as well, but sensed she was one to pry, and didn't like that part. She seemed like a bit of a gossip as well, with how she told me stories of people she knew.

After the surgery I was given a few days to recover while the two of them built my new limbs.

Uncle Hughes stayed with me, talking to me and telling me all about his daughter and his wife. I listened with genuine interest; I had tons of pictures of his family at home, but that was different then listening to him as he talked about them.

He loved his family a lot, that was obvious. He was borderline obsessed, actually, but I felt glad to know that he counted me as part of that family, despite what I had done.

"So I guess you're not going to tell me what happened?" He guesses finally and I avert my eyes, unable to respond.

"We've got all the time in the world; you can tell me another day." He says, smiling at me and I just stare back at him. He was too kind; I didn't deserve an uncle like him.

"How long can you stay?" I wonder suddenly and he blinks, suddenly looking a bit sad. "A few more days, then I have to get back to work; I can't lose my job, I have to support my family." He reminds me softly and I nod. I wanted him to get back to them; he was obviously hurting to be separated from them, and I felt awful for keeping him away. A selfish part of me wanted one of my last remaining family members to stay with me in my time of need; another part of me reminded me that I didn't deserve such a comfort.

"Tell me more about Elysia." I whisper into the silence that follows and he happily obliges.

OOO

"When will I see you again?" I ask, swallowing the tears that threaten to spill over as I stare up at Uncle Hughes from my wheelchair.

We were in front of the house, alone together for what would be the last time for a while.

"Come visit me anytime; I can come see if, if that's better." He added and I shook my head. "I don't even know where I'll be going after I get my limbs." I admit. "I mean, I know I'll probably have to stay here for a few years until I'm fully recovered, but after that…" I trail off, staring at the ground.

"My offer is still standing; I want you to come live with me." He says and I look up at him hopefully.

A home. A real home, with a family and everything. My imagination took over there, conjuring images of cooking with Gracia, playing with Elysia. Images of holidays that didn't have to be spent alone, of family dinners and birthdays where someone remembered it flood my brain and I close my eyes.

"I'll come to you." I say, my eyes snapping open and I look up at him, offering him a genuine smile. "As soon as my limbs work again, I'll come to you." I say, staring up at him.

He grins. "I'll be waiting for you." He says as he leans down to embrace me one last time. "I'll miss you." I whimper into his neck and he lets out a sob, clutching me tightly.

"You've got to send me pictures!" He cries as he holds me tight. "I will!" I sob, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

I would miss him so much. The only real family I had left besides Elysia was leaving me, probably for years; I was going to be alone. Again.

After what was a long time but felt like a second he pulls back and kisses my cheek quickly. "Love you baby girl- remember to write." He orders as he straightens up. I nod. "Send me pictures." I command and he laughs. "Don't I always?" He grins.

He waves as he starts walking down the road and I watch him go, wishing I would wave back, or at least wipe the tears off my cheeks.

OOO

"Will they ever work right?" I ask, staring at the cold metal of my new limbs. No matter what I did, they didn't respond, lying limp.

"It'll take a few years most likely." Winry says and I look up at her. "What's the fastest recovery time you've ever had?" I ask and she looks suddenly sad. "About a year." She admits and my jaw clenches. "That long then." I declare and she raises her eyebrows.

"Good luck." She laughs, shaking her head.

OOO

I had thought I would be strong and take less then a year, but it was a full year before I could even feed myself without crushing my cup or silverware.

It took me almost two years before I could function enough to live on my own. I hated that I was so slow to recover, but Winry assured me that it was normal, that I wasn't superhuman.

I was thinking about this as I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

This was the guest bedroom, apparently; it usually went to two brothers who came to visit occasionally Winry told me, which explained the two beds.

I found pictures of them around the house, and Winry talked about this "Full Metal Alchemist" like he was god.

I raise my hand and wiggle each finger individually, smiling to myself with the little victory. A month ago that wasn't even possible. It felt so good to be in control of myself again.

My decision had been made; my bags were packed and ready by the door. I close my eyes, regretting my choice.

I would miss the Rockbells so much. They accepted me like a true family; Winry had become like my first best friend and Pinako treated me like a granddaughter.

This was exactly why I had to leave.

I didn't deserve any of this; I had killed so many people, taken so many lives. Families had been destroyed because of me; why should I get the luxury of one?

I sat up quietly and swallow hard, remembering my goodbye to my uncle. I couldn't go through that again; seeing Winry cry would be heart-wrenching.

I stand up and walk downstairs, picking up my bags and stepping into the living room.

As soon as I do I notice Pinako sitting in a chair by the front door, her eyes calm as she looks at me.

"I thought you'd try to leave without saying goodbye." She sighs. At her feet Den whines once, glancing at me.

Den and I hadn't gotten along at first; being a cat and all, I'd felt an instinctive fear of him. I think Den sensed my animal side, because he would sometimes just start barking at me for no apparent reason. It took all of my self-control not to hiss at him.

But we had reached a bit of a truce the past few years; now he only growled occasionally, but for the most part allowed me to pet him, even though my panther's side screamed in protest.

"I can't believe you were going to leave without telling me the full story." She says, staring at me. "I know it wasn't an accident. Your limbs were taken off cleanly, with almost surgical precision; I've only seen one person with injuries like that." Her eyes are calm as she looks at me. "He did something called human transmutation, and I think that's what you did."

I stare at her, slack-jawed with shock. I knew she was smart, but this blew me away. To make that connection… it both astounded and impressed me.

"I don't care what you did; I bet you had good reason. Lord knows they did." She looks sad all of a sudden then shakes her head, looking back at me with clear eyes.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here, and I'm ready to listen." She says and I swallow.

I'd never told a single person what I had done; it remained stored inside, and I felt a sudden fierce, desperate longing to confide in her. The panther and I agreed she was trustworthy, the right person to tell; she wouldn't judge, she would accept me.

Hesitantly I sat down on the couch across from her and began my tale.

OOO

**Author's Note:**

Meh you don't need to hear her story again, so we'll skip that part.

Most likely we'll be ending the flashbacks sometime soon, you're almost caught up!

I hope you guys aren't bored with the flashbacks yet, but if you are don't worry; it'll be over soon.

Until later loves,

LOSGAP =D

9


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:**

Oh the angst, make it go away. -_-

Yup, there is a lot of angst in this chapter, so prepare yourselves- other then that, please enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review when you're done! :D

LOSGAP =D

* * *

_I will not die,_

_I'll wait here for you_

_I feel alive_

_When you're beside me_

_I will not die_

_I'll wait here for you_

_In my time of dying…_

_(Three Days Grace, "Time of Dying")_

* * *

_Tara and I poke our head around the corner, looking into the kitchen where the grown-ups were talking. _

"…_we're so glad you two could get away and see us." Mom was saying, looking at Uncle Maes and Mr. Mustang with shining brown eyes. "I've missed you, Maes." She said. _

"_I just wish we could stay longer." Uncle Maes sighed. "If it wasn't for this damn war I'd be here all the time." He said. _

"_Bull." Roy snorted. "You'd be home cuddling with Gracia." He said and Maes shrugged, not denying it. _

"_Watch the language," Dad said, turning towards the door. "We've got visitors." _

_Reluctantly, Tara and I step around the door and into the kitchen, waiting to be sent back to bed. _

"_Shouldn't you two be asleep?" Dad asked, his blue eyes gentle. We both shook our heads. "We're not sleepy." We protested in unison. "I love it when they do that!" Uncle Maes giggled._

"_Why are you two in here? Shouldn't you be practicing your alchemy if you can't sleep?" Mom asked. _

"_We wanted to ask Roy something." Tara said and Roy's lips turned up at the corners with amusement, as they always did when Tara refused to call him "Mr. Mustang" like I did. _

"_Well, fire away." He said and Tara ran over, dragging me with her. We both dropped to our knees in front of his chair, clasping our hands in front of us. _

"_Please please please _please _take us on as your apprentices!" We begged. "We want to learn to fight!" _

_Roy's eyebrows disappeared into his hair and Mom choked on her drink. _

"_You're too young; you're only eight!" She protested. We both shook our heads stubbornly. "We want to learn!" We insisted. _

"_It may be a good idea," Maes admitted. "With so much fighting going on nearby, they should learn to defend themselves." _

_Mom looked like she was about to protest when a coughing fit seized her and she pressed a hand to her mouth. Tara's eyes rounded with concern as she looked back at Mom, her expression anxious. _

_Dad rested a hand on her shoulder. "And if we don't make it," He said quietly and I closed my eyes. "They should be able to look out for themselves." _

"_You're going to get better though!" Tara protested. Mom smiled sadly at her and looked away, unable to hold her gaze. _

"_Well, guess it's up to you Roy." Maes said, looking over at him. "I'm not much of a fighter; what do you say?" He asked and Roy frowned thoughtfully. Tara and I hurried over and latched onto his legs, looking pleadingly up at him. _

"_Please?" We begged. He sighed and shook his head. "How am I supposed to say no to _that_?" He sighed. "Yeah. Sure. I can't stay long, but tomorrow we'll start, and I'll teach you every time Maes and I can come over." He said and we squealed, scrambling up into his lap and hugging him tightly. _

"_Thank you!" We squealed. _

OOO

My eyes fluttered open and I stare up at the ceiling, blinking tiredly. Another dream about the good old days, huh? Roy couldn't even leave me alone when I was trying to get some sleep.

I sigh impatiently and reach up to rub my eye sleepily as I try and sit up, then grunt in annoyance as I look down at my right arm. It was in a sling, I realized in shock. Why…?

I looked around wildly, trying to get my bearings. I was in a hospital room; alone. Why was I here?

It all crashed down on me then and I gasp with the force of it, my hand flying to my heart, feeling it thud wildly in my chest with panic. I'd killed Tara. I'd almost died.

Ed knew what I was.

I close my eyes. There was no hope then, was there? He would never look at me the same way again. He was not a forgiving type; would he hold me responsible for what I had become?

I rip the sling off and flex my arm, trying to see the damage as I pull off my glove. There was a long crack in the auto mail- nothing serious, but if they felt that through the glove they probably would have thought I had a broken arm. I roll my eyes. Idiots. What kind of doctors couldn't tell auto mail from flesh?

I sit up in bed and rub my hands down my face, fear crashing down on me. Where was Ed? I would have expected to have him waiting by my bed, demanding an answer as soon as I woke up; or at least Al.

But where were they?

I swing my legs over the side of the bed, shaking my head as I try to clear it. I felt a bit light-headed, but that was it; how long had I been out?

I stumble out of bed and as soon as my feet touch the ground the door opens.

_Ed? _I thought hopefully as I turn to see who it is. I blink in surprise at the boy inside the door, not recognizing him.

"Who're you?" I ask, frowning at him. He looks shocked as he stares at me. "You're awake!" He blurts out and I blink, wondering how he knew I was out of it.

"Do you know how long I was out?" I ask abruptly and he looks at me in surprise. "I'm not sure." He admits. "I think Ed said you got hurt… about six weeks ago?" He asks and I pale.

I sit back down on the bed, staring at the floor. Six weeks? I had just lost six weeks of my life.

"Oh!" The boy says, trotting up to me. "I forgot to introduce myself; I'm Fletcher Tringham." He says. He grins at me. "You're Memarie?" He says and I nod weakly, still trying to comprehend I had lost so much time.

"Then this is for you." He says, handing me a silver pocket watch. I stare at it, then look at him. "I already have one." I say flatly, not getting it. "This is Edwards'; he told me to give it to you." He explains.

I take it from him and open it up, and there is an inscription.

_Don't forget. _

Below it something was scribbled out, merely an ugly black mass beneath the two words.

Don't forget what?

I stare at it, running my fingers over it. "Fletcher," I say, raising my head to look at him. "Why did he give this to you?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Sorry. I don't know."

As I read the two words again, memories flood my mind; every moment with Edward flies through my mind, good and bad. I stare at the watch, watching it tremble in my hand. He didn't want me to forget him. Forget us. What we had, whatever that was.

"Where is he?" I demand. Fletcher hesitates. "I know where my brother is taking him, but it'll take you a while to walk there." He warns. My lips twitch into a grim smile. "I think I have a faster way; just tell me where to go."

OOO

I clench my jaw against another scream of pain as the panther overtakes me, allowing it to turn me entirely into my other form.

With my arms and legs to dilute the amount of panther blood, it focuses in my core, sending searing pain through me as it tries to change arms and legs that aren't there anymore.

When it's over I clap my hands and feet, transmuting them into paws with sharp claws at the tips. Winry would kill me, but I would change them back later; hands and feet would be impossible to run in.

I leap up onto my back legs and push the window open, leaping out and landing quietly on the dirt. I look back at the hospital and flick my tail, launching myself into a swift run, my metal paws landing quietly on the dirt.

I run as though my life depends on it, which maybe it does; whatever Ed is planning, he can't be thinking he'll get out of it alive if he left me something to remember him by.

_What will I do if I lose him?_ I wonder. _Or Alphonse? I love them both so much…_My eyes close briefly at the thought.

Of course. I may as well stop denying it to myself. I loved Alphonse like the little brother I'd always wanted, but Ed… there was something so much deeper.

I clench my jaw as I thought of him. I couldn't say I was surprised by my revelation; I'd known it all along, I'd just been lying to myself.

I only accepted it when I realized I could lose him.

I shut my eyes tight and push myself on faster, determined not to let that happen.

OOO

When I come to the place the Tringham brothers took Edward, I catch his scent from the door and follow it, concentrating solely on that.

When I come to two large wooden doors, his scent is strongest just past them; there are other scents that frighten me though; smells of death and of something disgusting, like too much perfume trying to mask something else, something dead and rotting…

My nose wrinkles as I push the door open and enter cautiously, my eyes widening at what I see.

My eyes immediately light on the sight of Alphonse lying on a huge transmutation circle, glowing bright blue.

"Al!" I yowl in shock, then wince at the low, distorted cry. I run over to him, skidding to a halt just outside the circle, staring at it warily.

"Where's Ed?" I demand, looking around; my eyes land on a woman not too far away and I crouch low to the ground, a low growl humming deep within my chest.

She is the source of the rotting scent; she isn't human. My eyes travel around the other figures in the room and I stare in horror. None of them smell human except for one young girl and her baby.

These were Homunculi, I realized. They smelled like Nightmare had, of emptiness and death.

But the woman with her short gray hair scares me and I can't look away from her cold gaze as I lower myself, ready to fight.

"Memarie?" Al says in shock. "Is that you?" I nod, not looking away. "Ed's not here." Al says quietly, seeming apparently calm at my appearance. _Ed probably told him. _I realize.

"Then where is he?" I ask, looking around.

"What's with the cat?" A man asks and my eyes flash over to him. He is a strange looking homunculus that smells of death, but also of hatred. He has the same eyes as Nightmare did. He also looks like a palm tree; a homosexual one at that, the freak.

"It's a chimera, Envy." The woman says patiently and I look over at her again. "What's she doing here?" "Envy" asks, sounding annoyed. "She's not part of the plan at all; should I kill her?"

My eyes narrow and my jaw clenches as I glare at him. _Why don't you try to take me? _I think at him, gritting my teeth. _I can't wait to find out what you taste like. _

"No, not now." The woman shakes her head. "Gluttony can take care of her." She says, and I look over to an enormous man I hadn't noticed before. He is stumbling around, muttering something that sounds like "Lust… where did my Lust go?"

Somehow, he smells more human then the rest of them; he still has that empty void inside of him, but grief and loss radiates off of him like waves; he is hurting, unlike the others who are filled with hate and greed.

I keep my gaze fixed on the woman and Envy, knowing they could not be trusted; Gluttony could be ignored for now.

My eyes follow Envy as he walks over to Gluttony, crouching low beside him.

"Just eat him," He purrs in a way that makes my skin crawl. "He'll turn into the complete stone… inside your body." He says.

_Stone?_ I realize in shock, looking at Al. "Al? What does he mean?" I ask hoarsely, my voice even worse then usual.

"It's a long story," Al says, his voice suddenly shaky. I look over at him in shock; I have never heard Al sounding so terrified.

"But I've been… turned into the Philosopher's Stone." He says weakly and my eyes widen as I stare at him.

The Philosopher's Stone. Something I had been reaching for for years, and now it was lying in front of me.

For a wild second I wonder if Al would survive it if Gluttony ate the Stone, but quickly dismiss it; he would probably have to eat all of Alphonse, and I was not about to let that happen.

I step forward to stand in front of him protectively, blocking Gluttony from getting to him as I growl deep in my throat, challenging him to try and take Al.

"Go on, get moving!" Envy snaps, stabbing his finger towards Al and I snarl at it until he puts it back down again, giving me a wary look.

Gluttony stumbles away from Envy, mumbling about Lust again.

"What the hell's the matter with you?! Just eat him!" Envy snarls, storming over to Gluttony. I can't help but feel bad for him; whoever this Lust was, he clearly misses her terribly.

"I want to see you eat his child and turn him into crap inside of you!" Envy snaps, pointing at Al again and I snap at his hand though I am nowhere close enough to bite him; he ignores me and continues ranting.

(A/N: I'm watching the subbed version of this episode (50) to write this, so it'll probably sound a bit different then the English version, so sorry if you're not used to it!)

"Damn it. I wanted to be able to slash up that shorty." Envy hisses, half to himself. I stare at him in shock. If he hasn't killed Ed, and Ed's not here, then where is he?

I am distracted by my thoughts as the woman in the hideous pink dress crouches in front of Gluttony. Instantly, I want to cry out to warn him, but something stops me- if she is going to kill him, it's probably for the best, he is clearly suffering. I feel guilty for thinking of him like an animal, but he is in no way human.

Her hand suddenly reaches into his mouth and jerks out his tongue, and I wince, wanting to look away, but I can't.

His tongue glows briefly and with a start I realize there is a transmutation circle on his tongue and I stare as he hangs his head suddenly. When I breathe in, I instantly realize all of the human scents of grief and despair are gone from him; only a fierce, aching hunger come from the emptiness inside of him and I hiss, arching my back as I prepare myself to protect Alphonse from this beast.

"Gluttony?" Envy asks, seeming as dumbfounded as I am.

"Be careful." The short haired woman warns him. "All he can think about now is his hunger." She says, looking at him with expressionless eyes. "After all, I did create him for the purpose of manufacturing the Red Stone. He doesn't need a brain."

I stare at her in shock. She had created this horrible creature?

A flashback races through my mind and I think of Nightmare, of the "Father" she refers to- did she mean this woman?

_Maybe she meant one of these Homunculi. _I think, looking between Gluttony and Envy.

I'd never seen such a foul creature such as Gluttony, with his empty eyes, devoid of anything but hunger, and his drooling mouth.

Gluttony starts to stumble towards Al and I and I hiss, lowering myself to the ground, growling a warning deep in the back of my throat. He ignores me completely and continues his slow charge.

"Envy!" The woman cries out suddenly and I whirl as a figure I didn't see before, a badly burned little boy throws himself at Envy.

"You must not let him use alchemy!" The woman hisses. "You dumb ass!" Envy snaps as the boy starts dragging himself and Envy towards the two women and the baby. "Mommy! Where's Mommy?!" He wails and my heart aches for him briefly.

If Homunculi weren't human, how were they able to feel loss so deeply? Did that mean emotions did not come from your soul; did that mean the scientific way they were usually looked at, that they were just manifestations in the brain in response to situations, was true?

I had felt loss and heart break more then I cared to repeat, and I knew that it had not been all in my mind; the pain had come from deep within my chest, cracking and breaking everything in sight.

So what _were_ these things? There was so much more to them then I had ever thought before; these were soulless, yes, but yet capable of human emotion.

And yet this human seemed to not feel their emotions, except for hatred and greed; I did not want to call her human, but she still had a soul, somewhere, though it was twisted.

But just then Gluttony starts to charge and I yowl, pounding across the floor to meet him halfway, murder on my mind.

"Memarie!" Al shrieks as I dig my claws firmly into the ground and I leap, snarling as I aim for Gluttony's massive throat.

But I pass straight through him and I land harmlessly on a floor I haven't seen in years, but fills me in terror.

I whirl around and cry out when I realize I am standing in front of the Gate, with Envy and the burned boy.

I shut my eyes tight, knowing there was no escape, and reach for the human part of me and phase.

I hiss in pain as my body return to normal and I clap my hands, returning my paws to hands and feet.

If I was going to die here, I would die human.

_I'm sorry Al. _I think as I watch the Gate doors start to creak open.

The arms snake around the boy as Envy and I both leap out of the way, I out of reflex, him of terror. We both watch in horror as the black arms wrap around an arm and a leg of the boy and start to pull.

"No!" I start to lunge forward, to try and help, as with a shriek of pain, his arm and leg are pulled clean off.

The arms retreat then, and return back into the Gate. I run over to the boy, but see he isn't bleeding; I wonder if I should try and heal him, but his wounds are already closing up.

The Gate closes then and I look behind me, realizing with a shock that everything is still there behind me. I turn back to the Gate, expecting it to be gone, but it is still there and my eyes widen in horror as it starts to open.

There is a familiar scream as the doors slowly creak open and my heart stops as a blonde head comes into view.

"Edward!" I shriek in shock, running to his side as he collapses onto the ground. I start to reach towards him just as a black arm snakes around mine.

I cry out and jerk my arm back, trying to get away as more of them wrap around my legs, pulling me roughly to the ground.

With my one free hand I reach towards Edward and cry out his name again and he lifts his head, staring at me in shock as I claw frantically at the ground, fighting to stay.

"Ed!" I beg as I start to slip. "What are you doing here?" Ed demands sharply, seeming more angry then relieved to see me.

Something in my heart falters at the hard look in his eyes; he isn't happy to see me, though I was beyond thrilled to see him.

His coldness cut clean through and hurts worse even then the Gate's arms as they circle my entire body and drag me, kicking and screaming, a few more feet towards it.

I look back towards the Gate, a short distance away, then at my arms, trembling as they cling to the ground, then finally at Edward, staring at me.

I swallow hard as I look at him, so many things bubbling up in my throat that I desperately want to tell him but somehow, I just can't.

I stare at him desperately, then whisper, "Goodbye." my eyes never leaving his beautiful, golden ones, cold as ice, as I am dragged silently into the blackness.

OOO

It is painfully familiar, yet somehow different as I am dragged through the depths of the Gate, and information races behind my eyes; things I have never seen before, nor can I comprehend.

I finally just shut my eyes, willing it all to just end when suddenly I slam painfully into something hard and my eyes fly open as the air is knocked out of my lungs.

I lay in the grass, gasping and choking for breath, my metal hands scrabbling at the dirt as I try to sit up and get my bearings.

Instantly, I realize I have no idea where I am; I am reminded suddenly of Ishval as I look down at the destruction below me, at the carnage and devastation.

I raise my head and stare at the machines flying through the sky, my eyes widening in terror. How were they staying afloat?! Wouldn't they come and crash down on our heads soon?

I am staring at the sky, my stomach clenched with fear as I wonder just where the hell am I, when I realize there are people nearby, watching the sky like I am.

There's at least a dozen, of varying ages. One of them catches my eye and she turns her head, her eyes meeting mine. When she does, it feels as though I have been dropped onto the ground again as the air is sucked out of my chest and I can only gape at the little girl.

It's Tara.

**Author's Note:**

Yeah. Busy, busy chapter.

Well, we all know how the anime ends, but this is not the end! This is the end of the first arc, you could say; the second arc begins next chapter with Memarie's new life here on Earth.

So yeah. Please review and let me know what you thought! I can't wait to read your opinions!

LOSGAP =D

8


	19. Part II: Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

OMG WE HAVE BROKEN 100 REVIEWS!!!!

Thank you, so much, to everyone who has reviewed this story! I'm so happy! lol I can't believe people like this story so much and I am thrilled everyone likes it enough to review! :D

In case you couldn't tell by the chapter title, yes this is the second arc of Tourniquet- thought about starting a new story for it, but figure this is better.

Kind of like season two lol

Anyway, hope everyone loves the chapter and please review! :D

LOSGAP =D

* * *

_How the hell'd we wind up like this?_

_Why weren't we able_

_To see the sign that we missed_

_And try to turn the tables?_

_Now the story's played out like this_

_Just like a paperback novel_

_Let's re-write an ending that fits_

_Instead of a Hollywood horror…_

_(Nickelback, "Someday")_

* * *

This Tara look a like smiles at me slightly and my heart nearly breaks before I remember that I have been tricked like this before, and am instantly wary.

Though this can be no other then Tara, she is clearly much younger then the Tara I remember; she can only be about ten; why would a Homunculus change into a younger version of her?

I approach cautiously, my eyes flickering around. Was this heaven, or a strange version of hell?

I come to stand in front of her uncertainly, desperate for answers but not wanting to make a scene. Truthfully I'm terrified of this place, and the strange flying things above me, but I refuse to let anyone see my fear.

"Hi." I say awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot, trying not to stare but I can't keep my eyes off of her.

"Hi." The little girl replies shyly. I try not to gawk at the familiar voice and clear my throat. "…I'm Memarie." I say finally and she smiles. "That's a pretty name. My name's Tara." She says and my heart comes to an abrupt halt.

_I thought I had killed Nightmare; this can't be her though, she would have killed all of the people here by now! I may not even be in Amestris anymore, how would Nightmare get through the Gate?_

"Where's your family?" I ask, suddenly wondering if maybe, just maybe, my parents, long dead, are here as well.

"At home; they don't know I'm here." Her voice drops to a whisper and she grins. A huge crevice in my heart yawns open with longing at the familiar grin; more then anything I want to grab her and hug her within an inch of her life, telling her how much I have missed her, but she clearly does not know who I am.

She is Tara, but yet, she isn't; I have never been so confused, but happily so.

"Where's yours?" She asks and I gulp, averting her curious eyes as I try to think of a story.

"Oh," She says softly and I glance back at her suddenly sympathetic eyes. "Did you lose them in the bombings?" She asks and after a moment I nod shakily, stunned at the thought there are bombings here, and that she is so familiar with them.

Just like my Tara, she is used to destruction and war, and is no longer fazed by it's horrors.

"Why don't you come with me?" She suggests, grinning up at me. "I'm sure Mum and Dad won't mind at all; it's much better then the orphanages, and we have a basement, so we're quite well off." She says proudly.

I can only stare at her for a long moment, unable to believe my ears. I could go home with Tara; I could see her every day, watch her grow up.

For the first time in far too long, I smile brightly at my little sister. "Sure. Thank you." She takes my hand and I squeeze it gently, thinking that maybe I made it to Heaven after all.

OOO

Tara and I walk in silence, her calm and fearless, I flinching every time a flying thing passes over my head.

"The planes won't hurt us out here," She assures me and I blink, turning over the strange word in my mind before I nod.

"I know it must be scary," She says as we walk. "Losing your family and all. Did you have brothers and sisters?" She asks and I smile sadly. "A sister. She as lost too." She might as well know, I decide.

Tara gasps and comes to a halt, suddenly throwing her arms around me. I close my eyes and hug her back tightly, relishing the familiarity of this moment.

_I have waited so long for this…_

"That's terrible!" She cries, hugging me tightly. I press my hand against the back of her head, holding her to me; I never want to let her go.

"If you want, I can be your sister." She says, looking up at me with round brown eyes. I swallow a lump that has suddenly formed in my throat; I must have died, I decided. And, for whatever reason, I have ended up in Heaven.

That, or Tara was going to die again in front of me and I will realize this was all a dream, and I am really in Hell.

"I'd like that," I say softly. "Very, very much."

OOO

I am shocked at first when we get to her house and I see that her parents are not mine; I gawk at this man and woman, so unlike my own parents.

The man is very tall and light; his eyes are a bright blue and his hair is a light shade of blonde. The woman is tall as well, also a blonde haired, blue-eyed person, but her hair and eyes are darker then the man's.

The sight of the woman reminds me fiercely of Winry and I almost cry out in heart break. Will I ever see her again?

I force myself not to think of Ed and Al, and their fates.

"Mum, Dad, this is Memarie!" Tara says, dragging me towards the couple waiting on the porch; they run towards Tara, ignoring me for the moment.

"Where were you?!" The woman demands sharply. "We've been worried sick! You can't just go wandering off during an air raid!" She snaps. I find myself almost nodding in agreement, but stop myself; I would have killed Tara if she had done that to me.

Her father was mostly just glaring, not speaking as his wife suddenly enveloped Tara in a crushing hug, letting out a sob. "Oh, what if I lost you?"

I look away, staring at the ground and swallowing hard, trying not to think about the fact that I know exactly what it would feel like to lose her.

"But Mum, I brought a friend!" Tara says, wriggling out of her hold. "This is Memarie! She lost her family in the bombings." She explains and the woman looks over at me, noticing me for the first time.

"Oh, you poor thing." She clucks, coming over and hugging me. I feel her stiffen in surprise and lift my arm, staring at the metal in surprise. I realize I left my gloves back in the hospital room and blink; waking up feels years away.

"I lost my limbs and had to get these replacements," I explain, trying not to blush; having people stare at my auto mail would always embarrass me.

She shakes her head, her blue eyes sad. "Poor thing, your family _and_ your body?" She sighs as she looks at me. "This war ruins so many lives…" I nod in agreement, thinking of Ishval, not of this war.

"Well, come in! Let's get you some tea; you look quite pale- you could use it." She says, leading the way inside. Tara trots along just behind her and I realize her father is staring at me.

"Um, hello." I saw awkwardly, holding out my hand.

For a moment he just stares at me before he quietly takes my hand and gives it a good, firm shake before instantly releasing it, eyeing the metal distrustfully.

I wonder if they do not have auto mail here, wherever I am, as I follow them inside, thinking that this was the strangest place I had ever been.

OOO

The man and woman were named Ira and Heather, and I quickly became attached to Heather.

She was as warm as anyone I had ever met, and was the one who insisted I stay; she also ordered me to call her "Mom".

Ira, who didn't seem to really care about any of it, frowned a lot. Heather told me not to mind him, he was "shy". The large, stoic man struck me as anything but shy.

"Well, you two get off to bed now; we've got an extra bed, since we usually have some people stopping by pretty often. Well, we used to, before this bloody war." I don't understand why Ira gave her a reproachful look, as though she had said a bad word.

She smiles somewhat sadly at me. "Tara, why don't you show her to her room? I'll see if I have any old nightclothes that may fit her." She says, standing up and leaving.

I follow Tara, who takes me by the hand again, and she leads me up some old wooden stairs to a room at the very end of the hallway.

She lets me enter first and I enter slowly, looking around and feeling suddenly close to tears.

A room. A room in the house that Tara lived in; with a _family._

_Oh, wait till I tell…_ My sudden joy vanishes just as quickly as it comes and I feel the tears spring again.

Would I ever get to tell Ed and Al about my reunion with my long-gone sister?

"Are you all right?" Tara asks softly and I nod, though I know she can see the tears flowing freely.

"It must be so hard." Tara whispers and hugs me again. "If you need me, please come get me. I'll leave you alone." She says and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind her.

I look around the room, noting the details to try and distract me from the sudden ache in my chest.

It is not a large room, but comfortable; there is a window at the far end, and a bed with a hand-made red quilt spread over it. This room was very homey, and didn't make me feel any better.

I sit down on the bed and run my hand over the quilt, staring at the wooden floor as I try to collect myself before Heather comes in with my nightclothes.

Would I ever see either of them again? Were they even alive?

OOO

I lay awake all that night, unable to sleep. All I could think about was the Elric brothers. Al, with his sweetness and gentleness, and Edward with his courage and soft heart beneath all of that bravado. My boys.

My boys; boys I had fought beside, fought against and fought for. My boys, who may be lying dead at the hands of those horrible creatures. Who I may never see again.

I was used to stifling all emotions, to protect myself from the crushing grief that had loomed over my head for years, but now, all I could do was cry, weeping for the loss of both of them.

I buried my face in my pillow, letting out a muffled sob. Had that creature eaten Al? Why hadn't I been able to protect him from that horrible thing? And what of Ed?

_Oh, Edward… I hope by some miracle, you're still alive and that maybe, just maybe, you saved Alphonse._

OOO

I was allowed to grieve in peace in my room for a few days, rarely disturbed except for meals. I remembered how I had thrown myself into my research after losing Tara; but after I began to realize I may never see Edward and Al again, it was as though they had taken what was left of me with them.

They had been the fire that kept me going, the candle I held up against the darkness; that flame had been snuffed out, and I was left stumbling in the dark.

This was so unlike losing Tara; losing her had made me angry and determined to change it, but losing them was different. It was a battle to get out of bed in the morning and face the world without them.

The worst part was that I hadn't even realized how much I had needed them until that day.

"Are you all right?" Tara asks, poking her head in the door. I turn my head and just look at her, wishing I could smile for her but I don't have the strength.

She sits down on the bed beside me and lays her hand over mine. I close my eyes, savoring her brief touch; how I had missed moments like this.

"Yeah." I sigh, staring at the ceiling, avoiding her concerned eyes. "No you're not." Tara says stubbornly and I glance back at her in surprise. My Tara had usually left me alone when I was hurting and let me come to her.

I had been noticing differences in the two Tara's as the past few days had progressed; just because she looked, sounded and was named Tara did not make her _my_ Tara. Still, she was so much like her…

"I just lost everything; of course I'm not all right." I reply truthfully after a moment. They had been my everything; what did I have, if I did not have those two?

_You have Tara now. _A voice in my head reminds me and I look at her, and sigh under my breath. _No I don't; they're very alike, but they're different. _

Realizing this, it doesn't feel as though I have lost her again; I am content to stay with this version of Tara, different though she was, I had become close to her.

"I know it's difficult, but maybe you would feel better if you did some things? Why don't you join me in my schooling? Mum is teaching me right now." She says and I blink at her. "Don't you go to school?" I ask and she laughs. "Are you pulling my leg? Of course not silly! It's far too dangerous to make that journey to the school." She explains and I blink, then force a smile. "Of course. I forgot. Sure, I'll come." I say, unable to deny Tara anything. She may not have been the Tara I remember exactly, but she was so similar it was impossible to say no to her for anything.

Tara practically drags me downstairs and I smile despite myself; this was exactly what the old Tara would have done.

"Mum, Memarie said she would join me!" She says happily when we get downstairs to the kitchen. Heather beams at me. "That's just lovely; did you have any schooling?" She asks and I frown.

I had never been to an actual school, but from everything the Gate had shoved into my head I knew a decent amount- but about this world, I knew nothing. I shake my head slowly, hoping to glean a few tidbits of information about where I was without seeming too obvious.

"Well then," She says, opening a well-worn textbook. "Mum used to be a teacher before the war," Tara whispers to me as we sit down at the table. I nod, not exactly surprised; Heather was wonderful with children. "Let's get started." Heather says.

OOO

"Can I get some fresh air? I need a break." I say suddenly and Heather nods, looking sympathetic. "All right, that's fine; if you see any planes come in though." She warns me and I nod, knowing I would have come running to the safety of the house anyway.

I stumble outside, staring at the unfamiliar sky and bite my lip, trying to catch my breath from the dizzying amount of information I had gotten.

This place, "London", was not anywhere back home. Neither were any of the other cities and countries she had mentioned during the lesson.

There was a war going on I knew nothing about, and there were machines here that could cause death and destruction unlike anything I had never imagined.

This was not my world.

The Gate had spit me out on the other side of it; there was a whole new _world _on the other side of the Gate; how could I have had so many things shoved into my head and missed that?

Trembling, I drop to my knees and stare at the ground of this new world, gripping the grass tightly as though I could feel it spinning and was afraid I would fall off.

This wasn't happening; how could it? How could I have ended up in another world?

_Just yet another punishment for what I have done,_ I thought bitterly. _Will I ever redeem myself?_

As I stared into the trees, not recognizing some of the types of them, I had a sudden thought and clapped my hands, slamming them into the Earth.

I felt nothing.

Tears sprung to my eyes; there was none of the familiar tingling in my chest I had come to associate with alchemy. I couldn't try to get the Gate open and fight my way back home.

I feel, rather then hear, someone come up behind me.

"Are you all right, dear?" Heather asks and I look back at her, knowing she can see I'm crying.

"Oh, honey…" She bends down and envelops me in a tight hug and I press my face into her shoulder, letting out a sob.

This wasn't _fair. _How was I supposed to survive here, in this world where people looked familiar, but weren't? Without alchemy?

Without Edward?

"Oh! I forgot; you left something in your pants pocket when you gave them to me to wash." Heather says suddenly, pulling back and fumbling in the large pocket in the front of her dress.

What Heather hands me makes the breath catch in my chest and fresh tears spring to my eyes.

It's Ed's pocket watch.

6


	20. Part II: Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

More angst, bleh. I bet some of you are getting tired of it, but the story calls for it.

Hopefully lighter chapters will come eventually, but not for a good while.

Anyway, I hope you like the chapter and please review! :D

LOSGAP =D

* * *

_It's in this wake that I find myself_

_Losing the will to resume this Hell_

_When every breath is a dying wish,_

_It's harder to follow the point of this..._

_(Demon Hunter, "Fading Away")_

* * *

As minutes and hours stretched into days, and from there into weeks, the hole that had taken up residence where my heart used to be continued to fester, never healing.

It hadn't been anything like this when Tara had died. But maybe it had, and I just hadn't noticed the hole in my chest- I had been too busy filling it up with anger and determination to see that I was falling apart.

Maybe it was the combined loss of Al, Ed, and my home. Maybe it was because I was in a whole new world- was I just not adapting?

Whatever it was, it continued to gnaw at me late into the night, creeping into my already twisted soul and blackening everything it touched.

I could feel it now, its icy touch slithering over my innards, until I felt as though I could not even feel my heart beating in my chest.

I raise my hand above my head and stretch it to the ceiling, staring at the cold metal gleaming silver in the moonlight. I thought of Winry and Pinako, of the time I had spent with them, and close my eyes, dropping my arm again to cover my eyes.

I would never see them again- their faces ran through my mind, and I lingered over them, committing them to memory. I was terrified of the day I would try to remember them and could no longer see their faces etched clearly in my mind.

When Roy's face flickered past my eyes I found myself staring into it, another ache opening up. I should have forgiven him. I should have tried to make things right.

_Maybe it was better for him. _I thought sullenly. _Everyone I reach out to dies or betrays me- I have no living family left. Is this punishment for what I have become?_

OOO

Tara lets out another frightened squeak when thunder rumbles somewhere in the distance. I, however, close my eyes, feeling it thrum deep within me, sparking a reply somewhere in my being.

"It's just a bit of rain; it's not going to hurt you." Heather promises as she stands in front of the stove, watching over it like a hawk while she waits for the kettle of water to boil.

"I don't like it." Tara whimpers, and hides under the table, her hands over her ears.

Seeing Tara fear a storm was disconcerting- I could not make sense of it.

_She really isn't the same Tara. _I thought, as I did almost every time I noticed a subtle difference between them.

The fact that a Tara look a like existed in another world bothered me as well- her face was the exact replica or my Tara's, only younger. There was not even the slightest of differences- did that mean there were others like her in this world? Would I someday stumble across a second Edward or Winry?

_What about Alphonse though? I don't even know what he looks like. _I realize, startled. _I could run into him and not even know who I'm looking at. _

All of my musings fly from my mind however when thunder claps so loudly outside the house that I can feel it vibrate under my feet, the tremors running all the way up my legs and into my core.

"Would you excuse me?" I ask suddenly, and Heather looks over at me, perplexed. "If you want…" She says slowly, confused as I nod gratefully and leap from my chair, heading out the door and closing it behind me.

As soon as I'm outside I let out a sigh of relief, enjoying the familiar sensation of rain running down my face and hair in silver rivulets, streaming down my clothes.

Slowly, I start to stretch out my arms, tilting my head back and closing my eyes as I call out to the storm.

There is no reply.

A small part of me is not surprised and is resigned to this, but a larger part cries out again, louder, but the rain and lightning are deaf and mute.

I stand in the rain, feeling as though yet another part of my self has been torn from me. I felt as though I was being ignored by my best friend for no reason, shunned for something I didn't know I had done.

My arms trembling, I reach up my hands and cup them together, trying to pool the rain in my palms.

Before I could manipulate the rain to stay in my hands, for the auto mail could not fold completely together and left gaps, but now it slips out of my hands, though I try desperately to catch it.

My body sways and I fall to my knees, staring dully out into the rain, watching it fall with an odd detachment.

My eyes follow the path of the rain drops, tracing their movements through the air until they smacked into the ground, bouncing up again from the force of their fall.

_I'm truly alone. _I realize, without even the comfort of a storm as I cross my arms and continue to stare.

I hear the soft squelch of boots on mud as someone approaches, but I do not care that they will find me sitting in the rain like a mad woman. I remain where I am, waiting for them to come to me.

The rain suddenly stops falling on me and I look up into a black umbrella, and blink dully. I had never held one before, as I welcomed the rain's embrace on my skin. Now I appreciated the gesture, wanting to hide from the cruel nothingness the storm brought.

"You're going to catch cold if you stay out here." Tara says and I nod tiredly, though I make no move to get up.

She stands behind me, not making a sound nor a movement, even when thunder claps overhead.

"You're not from here," She says suddenly. "Are you?"

I stiffen in surprise at her intuitive question, but I recover quickly, too numb for any one emotion to have a lasting effect.

"Would you believe me if I wasn't?" I ask, not looking at her. "Depends on how good of a story-teller you are." Tara replies. "Now come inside and have some tea before you catch cold." She orders, and the rain suddenly falls on me again.

I turn my head to see her standing a few feet away, holding the umbrella over her head and waiting for me to catch up. Sighing, I rise slowly to my feet, wincing at the ache in my stumps as I walk to her.

_At least some things don't change. _I think, oddly comforted by the throbbing of my shoulders and thighs as I follow Tara inside.

OOO

I lay on my bed, stretched out and staring at the ceiling, waiting for Tara's response.

She is silent, I start to wonder if she left while I was trying to describe my world and how I ended up here, so I turn to look for her.

She is still sitting on the edge of the bed, staring thoughtfully into space.

"Say something." I beg. "If you think I'm crazy, at least say it."

"I don't." Tara says slowly. "…it actually makes sense." She admits. "The watch with the weird creature on it, the fact you were wearing _pants_ when I met you, like you were some kind of ruffian." She snorts. "Mother would kill me if I tried to wear those." She says, sounding regretful.

"But it also explains other things." She admits, looking back at me again. "You cry out in your sleep a lot." She says and I flush, hoping I had not said anything too terrible.

"What do I say?" I ask after a minute when she doesn't elaborate. She looks sad. "You say names, mostly." She murmurs. "My name a lot." She says, and I bit my lip, hoping she doesn't ask for me to elaborate. I left that part out of my tale.

"But there are other names. You keep saying you're sorry to some people named Edward and Alphonse." She says, looking confused. "You cry sometimes too, usually right after you say Edward's name."

I'm bright red by then and I avert her eyes. Tara gasps suddenly. "You were in love with him!" She exclaims and I shush her, glancing at the door and hoping no one heard that.

"And you're worlds apart." She breathes, her eyes growing misty. "That's so romantic."

I glare at her, despite myself. "I wouldn't call it that." I reply. "Of course you wouldn't, you're too deep in it to appreciate the beauty of it- I, however, have a safe distance from which I can admire it for what it really is." She says and I stare blankly at her. I could not see anything remotely good about my being separated from Edward.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder." She says and I sigh. "Do you think he misses you as much as you miss him?" She asks eagerly and I avoid her gaze.

Tara pokes her head back into my vision, her eyes perplexed. I look right through her, not seeing her, but Edward, and his cold eyes, looking at me with no expression even as I was dragged away from him.

Why hadn't he saved me? Or at least tried?

"You're crying." Tara says suddenly and I blink, raising a hand to my cheek and wiping off the stray tear.

"I take it he doesn't feel the same way." Tara says softly. "I don't know what he feels." I murmur, looking up at the ceiling. "Or if he even feels anything at all." I say and she looks confused.

"I've read a few romance novels, but none of them mentioned what you do when the boy doesn't feel anything." She says, frowning thoughtfully. I sigh, flinging my arm over my eyes to block out the watery grey light streaming in from the window.

"He did feel something, I think." I say finally. "Once. But then…" I trail off, not knowing what had happened.

"Once? Do tell. I sense a good love story coming up." Tara says eagerly and with an effort I sit up, though my stumps ache so fiercely the world swims before me.

"It's not a love story." I say patiently. "More of a very complicated hate and friendship story." I say and she grins. "I'll be the judge. Just tell me everything!"

OOO

By the time I finish recounting how Edward and I had met, and told her about our first mission together, night had fallen, and we were both curled up under the blanket to hide from the storm as I continued to speak and she listened in awed silence.

"You were a hero back then." She breathes when I trail off into an awkward silence. I laugh bitterly. "You have no idea who I was." I say, the words coming off like frost and hanging in the air between us. Tara blinks. "I know who you are now. That's all that matters to me." She replies and I blink, wondering what she would do if she knew the amount of lives I had taken.

"Edward was the real hero." I reply finally. I reach into my dress and pull out the pocket watch I now wore on a chain around my neck. I flip it open and turn it towards her so she can read the inscription.

"This is the last thing he ever gave me." I explain softly. "I'm still not exactly sure what he didn't want me to forget. Him, I guess. He knew he was not going to come back from that cursed place." I hiss, snapping it shut and putting it back in my dress.

Tara's eyes are confused, but she doesn't press. I had not told her that Edward had been present when the Gate had swallowed me up.

I roll over and stare at the ceiling, listening to the rain drum on the roof and the window. It was a familiar noise, but it felt so different, for I could no longer feel the rain's energy, the strength of the storm.

"You should go to bed." I say, glancing over at her and realizing with a start she is already asleep.

Looking at her closed eyes, her slack face, my brain betrays me and shows me an unwanted image. Tara's face lying in the sand, her blonde hair flying free around her still face, streaked with blood, belonging to both her and the men she had saved.

I shiver all over and blink hard, trying to see the present Tara. I shut my eyes tight and wished suddenly for Edward, whose voice and touch had always been enough to chase the monsters away.

Swallowing a sudden lump in my throat, I turn my back to Tara so I would not have to look at her face and shut my eyes tighter, forcing myself to sleep.

6


	21. Part II: Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

Yes a quick update and a short chapter, and some angst but at least this time we get to take a peek at what's going on with Edward now =)

Next chapter will most likely be cutting to when they're both older (Conqueror of Shamballa age) so enjoy their youth now while it lasts.

Enjoy the chapter and please review! :D

- LOSGAP =D

* * *

_It's obvious you understand_

_The blood that's on my hands_

_Where are you now?_

_I'm paralyzed, I can't escape_

_Until I see your face_

_Don't leave me all alone_

_You're all I know._

_(RED, "Mystery of You")_

* * *

**Edward**

A knock at the door jerked Edward from his reveries and he raised his head off of his crossed arms, looking towards the door.

Alphonse poked his head in, looking worried.

"You OK Edward? You've been in here all day." He said, his tone concerned. Edward shrugged. "Yeah I'm fine. Probably just getting sick or something." He lied, plopping his head back on the pillow.

"Oh. Well, hope you get better soon- if you feel better by tonight, come down to the workshop, we've got this great test model we want you to look at." He said, then disappeared.

Edward watched him go then sighed to himself, blinking up at the ceiling.

London was such a strange place; it was so unlike Amestris. Though there were certain aspects of it that were achingly familiar, like Alphonse.

_So that's what Al would look like if he had his body back. _Edward thought. His mind betrayed him then, reminding him of another person probably trapped in this same world.

The nightmare had come back again, the one where he watched her dragged away again; he hadn't even left bed today, too disturbed by his own thoughts.

_Flashback._

_As the massive doors of the Gate swung shut, sealing Memarie inside, Edward swallowed an unexpected stab of grief, but quickly shook it off. _

_ "What, not playing the hero this time?" Envy asked, sauntering over to him. "Never would have pegged you as the heartless type, Elric." He mused. "You must really have hated that girl."_

_End flashback. _

The fact that Envy had seemed pleased, almost proud of his actions, sickened him. Did watching Memarie go, almost glad to be rid of her, make him just as bad as the ones he had fought so hard to kill?

He shuddered all over. He was not heartless, he told himself time and time again. Envy was wrong.

But _was _he, really? What kind of person watched a former comrade be dragged off by the cruel arms of the Gate, to be cast into a world that Edward _knew _would probably kill her?

This world was ravaged by a seemingly unending war, full of strange killing machines unlike anything he had ever seen before. How could he have let Memarie, probably still weak from her coma, be tossed here?

He should have tried to bring her back; he should have at least _tried_. Besides, how did he even know if she had been taken here? What if the Gate had killed her?

_It couldn't have, _He decided finally. _I would have seen her in it, like I saw Al. _A sudden twang of heartbreak jerked at him and he groaned, burying his face into his pillow, clawing for the safety of sleep.

OOO

**Memarie**

"So Memarie," Heather says one day at lunch. "You're almost old enough to go to work; what do you plan on doing?" She asks and I blink, having never thought about it before.

Back home, alchemy itself was a job that had funded me pretty well; here though, without it I realized I was lacking in rudimentary skills.

"Uh…" I blink, my mind running with possibilities.

"You like helping people," Tara points out. "Maybe you could be a nurse?" She gives me a knowing look, remembering what I had told her about my medical alchemy. I bite my lip and shrug. "Maybe." I say.

"Well, that's a lovely idea." Heather replies. "You'll have to go to college though," Her brows furrow. "I'm not sure how we'll afford that." She murmurs, her eyes growing distant.

"We'll think of something." Tara says while I stare at the table, shocked at the thought of these strangers paying my way through a college.

OOO

I was old enough to get a job already, I discovered, and I applied for an internship at the local hospital, working under one of the nurses staffed there.

She wasn't that much older then me, only about twenty. I asked her about how she had become a nurse, and she laughed.

"You don't need any education to work nowadays," She grins, shaking her head, her dark red bob bouncing. "They're desperate for workers, what with all the wounded soldiers and all. I bet if you applied right now you'd get in, no questions asked."

So I did, and to my shock, I _did _get hired as a nurse, no background check required. Being around sick and injured people was oddly comforting; I was in my niche, I knew what was wrong, and I could fix it.

Not being able to heal in the blink of an eye was frustrating of course; I hated watching soldiers and civilians wasting away when I knew that back in Amestris I could have prevented it.

The other nurses couldn't understand how I was so unaffected when people died under my care; when my first patient died, I was consoled by almost every nurse, even offered the day off, but I was fine with it, used to death.

The fact I was so used to death disturbed me slightly; I could calmly rip off my bloody gloves, pronounce the man dead, and then go and drink coffee without batting an eye.

But maybe it was a good thing though, as most of the patients I cared for died within the week. Not because I was inept at caring for them, but because most of the ones who came in were so far gone no one could do anything but make them comfortable.

Being a nurse instead of a doctor had plenty of disadvantages though; I was not authorized to give medication even when I knew exactly what would help most; I was not permitted to do even minor surgery, such as removing a bullet from a non-threatening area.

The extent of what I could do was treat burns, bandage wounds, and clean out bedpans, considering I was the rookie.

I didn't mind, since I received a fair salary for my efforts; I put away my paychecks in the hopes that one day I would have enough for college so I could become a certified doctor here.

OOO

I sit up bolt upright in bed, panting and sweating.

Raising a trembling hand to my face, I rubbed at my eyes, blinking away sleep and the nightmare that still clung to my mind.

The Gate still haunted my dreams from time to time, and I sometimes re-watched the stream of information that had been forced into my head just a few weeks ago.

Some things stuck out of the chaos; a painting, an image of the sun, and the site of a huge explosion unlike any I had ever seen.

That explosion haunted me, making me wonder how many lives were claimed by it. Trembling, I force myself to lie back down, though the images still danced before my eyes as I slid into a fitful sleep.


	22. Part II: Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

I can't decide whether I really hate this chapter or not- on one hand, this chapter gave me a lot of sick, sadistic pleasure, but on the other I felt kind of bad. Oh well. I'm already over it.

All I can say is, fan-girls, please do not hate me towards the end. You knew it was coming. You know he deserves worse. Flames will be ignored, so please don't waste your time. =)

LOSGAP =D

* * *

_I'll never be the same_

_I'm caught inside the memories,_

_The promises, our yesterdays, and_

_I belong to you_

_I just can't walk away_

'_Cause after loving you…_

_I can never be the same._

_You led me here, then I watched you_

_Disappear_

_You left this emptiness inside_

_And I can't turn back time…_

_(RED, "Never Be the Same")_

* * *

My eyes open slowly and I blink up at the ceiling in shock, realizing with a start I finally slept without dreaming of home.

_Odd. _I think in surprise. It was the first time in over five years that I had not had a nightmare, but had slept peacefully through the night.

I was almost disappointed, I realize in shock. I missed my nightly chance to see home, even though it was never under happy circumstances. I close my eyes, allowing the image of Ed to surface before my eyes.

Over the years his face had slowly faded from my memory, slipping through my fingers like sand. Peering at the distant re-created image of him was like trying to see something on the bottom of a murky lake; the harder I tried, the less I saw.

Sighing, I abandon my efforts and rise from bed, stumbling downstairs as I look around blearily.

"You're up early," Tara says in surprise. I nod as I sit down, frowning at her. "You really didn't have to make breakfast today." I remind her. "I know, but I hate you going off to school without breakfast! Besides, today's graduation!" She exclaims, beaming at me.

I grin back at her, sighing with relief. I finally had enough education to become a true, certified doctor here. I had passed through my studies with startlingly speed due to the fact I had already studied most of the information before, when I was younger.

"Hurry up and eat, we have to leave soon!" Tara exclaims when I pick at my breakfast, gloom suddenly descending upon me.

Somehow it felt wrong to be succeeding and moving on here, when Al and Ed had both been cut down long before they could taste adulthood. I was on the verge of a career where I could rise to the top, living in a house and taking care of Tara. It was almost all I had ever dreamed of. I just hadn't realized it would be so lonely.

"Earth to Dr. Memarie!" Tara snaps her fingers in front of my face. I jump and look up at her in surprise. "Mom and Dad will be there already, we've got to move!"

OOO

"So honey, what are you going to do now?" Heather asks eagerly. I frown thoughtfully, taking a bite of my dinner.

Tara and I were eating dinner at their house, our old home. Two years ago Tara had come to live with me, since I lived closer to the city so she could go to school. Heather and Ira were sad to see her go of course, but it was admittedly financially easy on both of them; times were tough now.

"I'll probably work at a hospital for a few years until I get enough to maybe open my own clinic." I say, glancing at Tara. In Amestris, it had been the old Tara's and my dream to open our own clinic one day. Here though, this Tara had little interest in medicine- she was squeamish around blood. She wanted to be a teacher when she grew up.

"That's lovely!" Heather beams. "I hope you succeed, honey." She says, reaching over to pat my hand. I smile slightly at her, privately thinking that dream was a long ways off, but at least the work ahead of me would help keep my mind on the present day, not my adventures in my youth.

OOO

**Edward**

"Brother!" Ed jerked his head off the straw as Al shook him roughly by the collar. His grey eyes were like ice as he glared down at him. "Get. Outside. _Now."_

Ed blinked in surprise, wondering what was up as he shook off his sleep, stumbling to his feet.

He groaned softly as he rose, his sore muscles stretching and creaking unpleasantly. He was still fit, but sleeping on a barn floor would take its toll on anyone. For a moment he longed for a bed, even one in Central; it wasn't fair of him to subject Al to this kind of life- technically, he was his legal guardian. Al was still a child. But he knew his brother wouldn't have it any other way. They were both determined to find and stop the man who was building the atomic bomb; whoever he was, they could not afford to stop and take it easy until he was caught.

Alphonse was already outside, so Ed sleepily wandered outside, yawning as he realized it was only dawn.

"Al, what the hell do you- hey!" He was cut off from a very large, very hard, boot connecting with a tender region. Ed staggered and nearly fell, shocked by the surprise attack.

Al came to stand in front of him, fists held before him in a battle ready stance. Instead of the teasing light of sparring he had expected, there was a furious gleam in his eye as he stared Ed down. He was almost a little afraid of his brother.

"Al, what's going on?" Ed asked, trying not to show the fact that with one blow Al had severely handicapped him.

"I remember now!" Al hissed, rocking from foot to foot, pent-up rage needing an outlet. "Before, it was all so confusing I couldn't make sense of everything, but I remember _perfectly _now!" Ed ducked as Al's fist swung past him, missing his ear by a hair's breadth.

"What?!" Ed demanded, refusing to fight back until he knew why his brother was so angry.

"You know what!" Al snapped and, though Ed tried to duck, he connected his fist with his jaw, sending Ed sprawling.

Al came to stand over him, his fists trembling with barely suppressed rage. "At first I thought it was an awful nightmare, but then I realized it was _true._" He hissed, his eyes snapping with silver fire.

Terror clenched at Ed's heart. Was he remembering waking up in the suit of armor? Did he hate him for that now? Before, he had said he forgave him, but now Al looked as though he wished to tear him limb from limb.

"Get up." Al snapped as Ed continued to lie in the dirt, staring up at his brother, too scared to move. Slowly, Ed rose to his feet, holding up his hands in an attempt to stall him. "Al, just tell me what's wrong."

"I've been having these dreams lately," Al started, his voice softer then before. "Of the same girl. I started to realize they were memories, though I couldn't remember what had happened to her." His eyes still bore into him, but his bottom lip trembled. "She was my friend. She was _our _friend!" This time, Ed didn't even fight back as Al's boot slammed into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he flew backwards, his head connecting with the side of the barn wall.

Memarie. Al finally remembered Memarie. He came at Ed, lifting him by his collar until his feet dangled an inch from the ground. Ed just stared at him, willing to allow his brother to take out his rage on him. He probably deserved it.

For years, he had not had a single night's rest over his decision to watch Memarie be dragged away. If it wasn't the nightmare again, it was the dream where she was there with them, helping on their mission; when he awoke, he always half-expected to see her asleep on the straw beside him. Sometimes waking to that was worse then the nightmare.

"Why didn't you save her?!" Al shrieked, punctuating each word with a blow Ed didn't bother trying to defend himself from. Al's fighting wasn't as precise as it usually was; it was downright clumsy and brutal, if Ed had tried he probably would have been able to take him down. But he couldn't bring himself to stop him, and allowed Al to keep hitting the same tender spot in his side until he was almost certain his rib was cracking.

"Why?" Al demanded, finally stopping. He was panting as though he had run a thousand miles. Ed wasn't, though he felt as though Al had drug him behind him through the city streets.

Breathing hurt; his entire torso cracked in protest at every inhale; his left leg trembled underneath him as he exhaled. He tasted blood on his tongue from his cracked lip.

"Why don't you fight back?" Al demanded, his temper, rarely provoked, flaring up again. Ed just looked at him, unable to answer.

Al dropped him then and Ed almost fell to the ground, barely managing to catch himself. He watched in silence as Al went back to the barn, disappearing inside.

Ed sat quietly, listening to his own breathing as he struggled to stifle the pain cracking in him. When he had watched Memarie go, he hadn't even considered what it would do to Al. He had been so selfish; he should have realized it would tear Al apart to lose her.

Ed leaned his head back against the barn and looked up at the sky, willing the image of Memarie to disappear. Al would never forgive him for this, of that he was certain.

From inside the barn, a single, low sob was heard and Ed closed his eyes. That sound, caused by his own mistakes, was worse then every beating, every heartbreak and all these years alone put together.

5


	23. Part II: Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys! I'm glad no one attempted to cut off my head and eat it last chapter ^^; people usually get mad at me when canons suffer, so I'm glad you guys have sense and can remember it's just a story.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter, so I hope you guys all will too! :D

LOSGAP =D

* * *

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase…_

_(Evanescence, "My Immortal")_

* * *

"Are you nuts?!" I snap, shoving two new nurses out of the way. They look at me in confusion, but are obviously too terrified to ask what they did wrong. I cross my arms, trying to remember that they are new after all and I can't expect them to know everything. I take a calming breath and pinch the bridge of my nose, looking down at the thrashing man on the table.

"_Never _attempt to restrain a patient when he's seizing." I say, and though I try to say it gently they both wince. "You could severely injure him; you could break bones, tear ligaments… you'd hurt more then help him. It's best to just wait until it's over." I say, leaning back on one foot to watch his violent seizing fade into occasional tremors.

"There. See, that wasn't that hard. It's actually less work then trying to restrain the poor man; now get back to work, and remember what I told you." I order, striding away to find more important things to do then yell at rookies.

Working in a hospital as a doctor was harder then I thought it would be; back home, I could work at my own pace, and rarely had orders from anyone. I still had to answer to the board, and my schedule was nearly always swamped; I worked from early in the morning until late at night- I left before Tara got up and got back after she went to bed. I hated how it was going, but the longer I worked, the closer I was to opening up my own clinic. And the closer I was to paying Tara's way through college.

_So this is what being a mother would be like. _I think, nodding to more experienced doctors I pass and ignoring subordinates. In Amestris, motherhood was more nurturing, then releasing them into the world; here though, women had to fight tooth and nail for their children to survive. It was hard work, and I knew I certainly didn't want children.

I shake off my brooding and straighten my shoulders, throwing myself back into my work to dispel anymore daydreaming.

OOO

"Finally you get a day off!" Tara exclaims, walking along happily beside me. I nod, trying to see over the bag of groceries I was carrying that I refused to let Tara help with.

"It's terrible I barely get to see you anymore." I say, my voice partially muffled by the bag. "I know, I'm thinking about just dropping out of school and coming to follow you around at work all day." Tara replies. I look over at her in amusement. "I don't think the other doctors would appreciate me bringing a pet to work." I snort.

"I could help!" Tara protests. "I could bring you coffee or something." She says. "I have people for that." I reply. She scowls. "Shoot."

I laugh as we come to the street and I stop, waiting for an opening. After the car that was currently passing, there was a few seconds gap before the next car came. I open my mouth to tell Tara to wait but she's already darted into the road.

Time slows down then as the brakes of the car shriek, locking into place as they skid towards her. The groceries fall from my arms, smashing against the cobblestones and bursting open. I can feel my lips form her name, but I can't hear anything anymore. All I can hear is my own voice screaming desperately inside my head, _Not again, oh please not again!_

I don't check to see if there's another car coming; as soon as the car is gone, not even stopping to see if she's ok, I can no longer see Tara and I'm already running.

A few people have crowded around her on the sidewalk, but most keep going as I approach, not wanting to get caught up in anything. She's lying on her back, her hair flying around her. A flashback flashes before my eyes, and for a moment all I can see is red sand.

"Ow." Tara winces as I crouch down next to her. As soon as I realize she's fine, I want to kill her. She sits up and for the first time I realize she'd been lying on someone.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaims, suddenly looking near tears. I don't blame her after nearly being killed like that, but right now I am so furious with her for scaring me like that I don't care and focus my attention on the boy to whom I owe her life.

He sits up, shaking the dust out of his blonde hair. He looks slightly dazed. "Are you ok?" I ask anxiously, my eyes flicking over him, trying to scan him for injuries. He seems fine; he probably knocked his head on the road though when he pulled Tara out of the way.

"When we get home, you are _so _dead." I hiss to Tara, who bites her lip, looking scared. I stand up and offer a hand to the boy. He blinks up at me, then finally takes my hand, allowing me to pull him up. I see his brow pucker as soon as he has my hand, and he pulls it towards himself, using both hands to examine it.

Color tinges my cheeks in embarrassment; I had gotten new flesh colored gloves, but they were thinner then my old ones; the auto mail was easy to detect if you touched my hand; you would instantly see it was cold and hard.

He looks at me, seeking permission when he discovers I am wearing a glove, his fingers hovering over my hand. I sigh and nod, allowing the curious teenager to examine it. I remind myself he is only about Tara's age so I don't snap at him and allow him to pull my glove off, his eyes widening in shock.

He drops my hand almost instantly and goes for the other, his breathing quick. I raise an eyebrow. "You know, no one usually gets this excited about my arms before." I say to Tara, who nods, tilting her head as she looks at the boy with as much interest as he was at my arms.

"Say, I never got your name." I say as he drops my hands, staring at me with reverence.

I squeak with shock when he suddenly engulfs me in a bear hug, nearly strangling me. I flail my arms widely, trying not to fall over. "Hey!" I exclaim, trying to pry him off. "Explain, _please?!"_

"You don't recognize me?!" He exclaims, pulling back and my eyes widen at the voice. It strikes a familiar chord, and when I look at his face I see someone I haven't seen in years.

"Alphonse?" I ask softly, my voice shaking. He nods eagerly and a choked laugh escapes me as I crush him to me, shutting my eyes.

"I thought you were dead!" I exclaim, feeling tears escape but making no move to stop them. I wasn't crying out of grief anymore; for the first time, tears of joy spilled out of my eyes, escaping my throat in sobs.

"I thought you were dead too!" Alphonse admits, pulling back. I realize his eyes are teary too and don't feel quite as girly for crying any more.

"Hold on," I laugh, stepping back and holding him at arms length. "I haven't seen your real face for a long time; let me look at you." He grins, blushing under my gaze.

It's hard to look at him; I can see Edward in most of his features, in his cheeky grin, the sparkle in his eye. His eyes were storm gray though, and rounder then his brother's; he still had a touch of baby fat around his cheeks, though his arms had felt like iron around me.

"Wow. You're gorgeous. No wonder Ed was in such a rush to get you back in your body." I say in surprise and he laughs, pulling me into another hug. "It's so good to know you're ok." He sighs, his hug less crushing and more endearing. "Same here. The last time I saw you were dying." I murmur, my voice too low for Tara to hear. He pulls back and grins at me.

"Um, Al, you know I have to ask…" I start, looking at my boots. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Al's eyes harden, his liquid silver gaze freezing into ice.

"Ed's fine." He says curtly. I look up at him and blink, not used to seeing Al's anger. He leans towards me, glancing at Tara, who is watching us both with a burning curiosity.

"I know what he did to you." He murmurs in my ear and I close my eyes, not wanting to relive it.

"Where is he?" I ask quietly. Al shrugs. "I lost him in the crowd when I saw that girl dart in front of the car." He admits. "He's probably still looking for me. I'd better find him before he thinks I died or something." He says, looking amused. A soft smile touches my lips; that was the Al I knew.

"Oh, sorry." I say suddenly as Tara clears her throat, glaring at me. "Thank you so much for saving Tara." I see recognition flicker in the depths of his eyes as he glances over at her. I nod tightly before he can ask and his eyes widen imperceptibly.

"I should be the one thanking him." Tara says, then hesitates as she comes over and hugs him quickly. "What, I don't get a hug too?" She demands, seeing Al's surprised look.

"No, I…" He clears his throat, blushing lightly. I hide a grin, pleased to be able to see color in his cheeks instead of imaging it on his armor.

"AL!" I stiffen at the achingly familiar voice; for a moment I stand still as a statue, staring at Al as his eyes widen.

He appears then, the crowd parting around him like water. My eyes widen as he approaches, his eyes only for Al.

_Edward._

OOO

**Edward**

He grabbed Al by his shoulders and spun him around, seething with rage.

"What the hell was that Al?!" Ed demanded, glowering at Alphonse, who looked at him coolly in response, not answering. "I thought you got yourself hit by a car!" Ed snarled but blinked in surprise when Al calmly reached up his hands and removed Ed's from his shoulders. He stepped aside, revealing someone who had been standing behind him.

It took Edward a moment to recognize her, but then his breath caught in his chest. Her long chocolate brown hair that she had usually let free around her was tied back in a bun, resting at the nape of her neck and out of her way. She had grown only an inch or two in the past few years, though for a moment rage swelled in him when he realized she was _still _taller then him, damn it. She had abandoned her pants and shirt in favor of a dark brown skirt and a long sleeved white blouse with ruffles at the cuffs. Around her neck she wore a silver chain he had never seen before, though whatever was on the end of it vanished into her blouse.

"Memarie." Ed whispered, his eyes widening. She was _alive. _That was all he needed to know to survive another night.

Memarie took a hesitant step towards him, as though she meant to embrace him. Her eyes were wide and shining with tears as she approached. Slowly, she lifted her hand towards his cheek and he held his breath, hoping she would touch him so he knew he wasn't dreaming.

He shrieked when an auto mail fist connected into his cheek with bone-crunching force, sending him flying into some of the garbage always piled on the sides of the sidewalks.

Memarie stood over him, panting, her eyes flashing. She drew back her foot, about to kick him when a small blonde girl pounced on her, pulling her back.

"Not here Memarie!" She hissed, dragging her away from him as he tried to get up. "Not in public! I won't survive in prison!"

He stared at the girl, his previous shock at Memarie's violent outburst dissipating. _Tara. _He realized in shock, remembering Nightmare.

_That feels so long ago._ He thought, closing his eyes briefly, savoring the memory of the days when his faith in Memarie was completely firm and unshaken.

He didn't ask her why she had hit him; he knew. Burning hatred gleamed in her eye as she stood, still being restrained by Tara, though Alphonse looked almost disappointed she hadn't finished with him.

For a moment Ed stood before the three of them, feeling as though he was on the outside looking in. He stood there awkwardly, wishing he could think of something to say. He winced as a drop of blood landed on his bottom lip and he raised his flesh hand to gently probe the black eye he now had.

"Same old Memarie," He muttered, half to himself. "She can still kick my ass, even in a skirt."

A smile twitched at Memarie's lips though it didn't reach her eyes.

"Let's just go somewhere before the cops start asking questions, ok?" Tara asked anxiously. Memarie glanced at her, then nodded curtly. "Our apartment isn't too far from here." She murmured. She turned and walked away, Tara hanging on her arm and whispering in her ear, glancing at Ed and Al occasionally as they fell in behind them.

6


	24. Part II: Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

Yay they're together :D It was getting rather dull to write the same old angsty "oh I miss him/her oh so much" bits again and again.

This chapter was rather fun to write. ^^ Hope you enjoy! Please review ;)

LOSGAP=D

* * *

_I'd take another chance_

_Take a shot_

_Take a fall_

_For you_

_And I need you like a heart needs a beat_

_But it's nothing new_

_I loved you with a fire red_

_Now it's turning blue_

_And you say "sorry" like_

_The angel heaven let me think was you_

_Oh but I'm afraid_

_It's too late to apologize…_

_(One Republic, "Apologize")_

**Tara**

Tara quietly poured tea, glancing between Edward and Alphonse with wide, awe-filled eyes.

So these were the boys Memarie always talked about! The heroes of her world, the two she had fought against evil with! Edward was the one that captivated her the most; he was the one Memarie had fallen in love with so many years ago, when she was Tara's age.

Then why had she hit him? She knew something terrible had happened to separate them all, but Memarie had refused to tell her. Though late at night, she often heard Memarie cry out in terror Edward's name.

_Maybe he's the reason she's here? _Tara wondered suddenly, startled. She glanced at Edward with wide eyes. A part of her grew cold at the thought of someone hurting Memarie, but on the other hand, he had inadvertently brought her to Tara. For that, she was grateful; Memarie had turned her life upside down. She'd given her a tiny taste of adventure that she had craved; if not for her, she would still be working on the farm, instead of living in the city, striving for her dream of becoming a teacher.

_No wonder Memarie's so tense right now. _Tara thought, glancing at her adoptive sister. She sat with her shoulders hunched, her lips pressed into a tight line. The only one who seemed at ease was Alphonse, who was chatting with her animatedly; but his eyes were strained, showing he too was feeling the tension between Edward and Memarie.

Tara sat down at the kitchen table across from Alphonse; Memarie and Edward were sitting on opposite ends of the table, looking anywhere but at each other.

"So, um. Where are you guys staying?" Tara asked awkwardly, desperate to clear the air.

Alphonse's eyes flashed guilty as he glanced at Edward, who gave no indication he had heard.

"Er… we're sort of between houses right now." Alphonse muttered. Edward's eyes flashed to him, warning in their golden depths. Al ignored him, latching onto the conversation. "We're on a mission, actually." He said eagerly. Memarie's head lifted slightly.

"Like the old days?" She asked, a spark igniting in her gunmetal gray eyes. Ed glanced at her, then back at Alphonse, unable to hold her gaze for more then a second.

"Kind of." Al admitted. He looked over at Edward. "Why don't you tell her about it?" Alphonse asked and Ed glared at him, an unspoken message passing between them. Tara caught on quickly and stood up. "Come on, I'll show you around while these two reminisce." She said and Al nodded and smiled, then stood and followed her outside.

OOO

**Edward**

As soon as they were gone, Memarie sighed quietly, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. He pretended to examine the table, but he watched her discreetly. His eyes traced over the shape of her bottom lip jutting out slightly in thought, around the wrinkles at the corners of her tired eyes. They both had those permanent bags under their eyes; the results of countless sleepless nights.

"After all this time, you still stare at me when you think I'm not looking." Memarie murmured, not even glancing at him. For a moment Ed was a bit miffed he was not as discreet as he had thought, but then he allowed himself a soft smile. "Guess so."

They both fell into an uneasy silence again, Ed's finger tracing circles absentmindedly on the table, staring into space.

Memarie leaned forward then, folding her fingers together. She looked at him over her hands, frowning at him. "They're both listening just outside the door." She murmured, so quietly he could barely hear her. His lips twitched into an amused smile; of course.

"Can we at least pretend to get along, for their sake?" Memarie asked quietly. "We're both adults now. Sulking and ignoring the other won't get us anywhere." Her tone was gentle, but her eyes were cold. "I get it. You hate me. I've accepted that long ago; I only wish I knew why." She said softly. Guilt gnawed at the old wound she had opened up with those simple words and he closed his eyes, having so much to say and no words to say it.

"Let's just be civilized, all right?" She asked, leaning back. "I don't like you. You don't like me. There. End of story." She said, crossing her arms and looking away. "I won't have Tara being made upset by us fighting. If you have anything to say, say it when she's not around." She said.

Ed blinked at her, surprised. This was not the Memarie he had expected to find again. The honest part of himself had thought they would never find her, or at least she would be a bitter old woman who wanted nothing to do with him. The not so honest part of him had thought she would shower him in love, wailing about how much she had missed him.

A wistful smile pulled at his lips. That fantasy had been quite appealing when he was fifteen.

But Memarie had matured, and chilled towards him; he had had people hate him before, but nothing like this. Her words were chipped with frost, dropping from her lips like stones. Her eyes glimmered with ice whenever she looked at him; gray eyes, like his mother's and Al's. He had never seen such cold gray eyes like that before.

He stared at her, trying to think of something to say. There was so much he wanted to say; he wanted to tell her about all the lonely nights, the nightmares, how often he had turned to look to her for comfort to see she wasn't there.

She didn't look at him, staring out the window in the kitchen, looking out over London. A single tear glimmered in her eye and he started, but it was gone before he could be sure if it had been real.

OOO

**Memarie**

"An atomic bomb." I murmur, leaning back in my chair and staring thoughtfully into the fireplace.

We were all gathered around in my living room, Tara and I on the single couch, Al and Ed lounging on the floor, warming ourselves around the fire.

I hesitate a moment before I quietly add, "…I saw it too, Edward." His head whips around, responding to his name. His eyes are wide. "You did?" I nod, biting my lip uncertainly. I remembered the huge explosion the Gate had shown me; I could see why Edward was so determined to stop it.

_But we're just a few people, barely older then kids… what chance would we have against _that? I wonder. In this world, our power was useless; we were just ordinary people, not the gods we had thought we were. Did Edward still cling to that immortal power? Did he really think he stood a chance against something as big as that?

"What are you doing now?" I ask suddenly. Al raises his head and blinks at me in confusion. "Are you going back on your search then…?" I ask, trying to hide the fact I wanted them to stay, if only a little bit longer. His eyes soften. "Of course we're not going to just fly out of here." He says. "We just found you; we won't be so quick to abandon you." He says. A small sigh of relief escapes me and I relax.

"Well, why don't you two spend the night then?" Tara asks brightly and my head whips around. She smiles uncertainly. "What? They don't have a bed to sleep in, and it's not like you're all not used to sleeping under the same roof." She points out. I close my eyes briefly, unbidden memories rising up in me.

"Do you want too?" I ask finally, snapping my eyes open and dispelling the cloud of gloom that had settled around me. Al nods eagerly, then glances over at Edward. He hesitates.

"We may not have much room, but it's comfortable." I say quietly. I didn't really mind about Edward sleeping on a barn floor; it was Alphonse I was concerned about.

_He's still a child… _I thought, then stiffen. _A child? I thought they were only a year apart?_

My eyes widen in shock and I look over at Alphonse. He couldn't be any older then Tara; what had happened?

_As soon as Tara gets to bed I'm going to corner Edward and make him tell me everything. _I decide, unconsciously wincing when his name came across my mind.

I had thought him dead for years; was it impossible to hate a dead person? Because as soon as I saw him alive and well unbridled hatred had risen in me; nothing like being angry at Tara for scaring me like that. I wasn't angry with him; there was complete bitter hatred in me every time I looked at him.

Why hadn't he at least tried to pull me back? What had changed? Why had he condemned me to a life outside my home?

Without him?

OOO

**Edward**

He stared up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to claim him.

Not too far away, he could hear Alphonse's quiet, even breathing; he envied his little brother's peaceful slumber for a moment, but dispelled them. No, he was glad at least someone was getting sleep around here; he sure as hell wasn't.

He turned onto his side, watching the flames dance. He and Al had declined the girl's offer of the single bedroom and had taken the living room- Ed had made Al take the couch while he curled up in front of the fireplace.

_"I don't like you. You don't like me. There. End of story."_

His eyes closed when Memarie's cold words replayed themselves for him again.

Was that the truth though? Did he really still hate her? Hadn't she been the reason for his never-ending feelings of guilt?

He had been fifteen then, and so quick to judge. He was older now, and better acquainted with the workings of the world; it was no longer painted in black and white before his eyes. As he grew older, shades of gray began to appear; there was a thin line between right and wrong. When he was young, you were either good or bad; there was no in between.

He was interrupted in his brooding when someone settled down onto the ground beside him. He turned his head in surprise. Memarie sat down quietly beside him, drawing her legs underneath herself. She didn't look at him, staring into the flames. The fire cast her face into shadow, her eyes bright in the firelight.

He didn't ask her what was up; he was just glad she was there beside him again. They sat in silence; Memarie seemed content to pretend Ed wasn't even there. Finally, she spoke up.

"What happened to Al?" She asked quietly, still not looking at him. It took Edward a moment to figure out what she was asking, before he sighed and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees as he too stared into the flames.

"It's a long story." He admitted. "I'm not going anywhere." Memarie murmured, glancing at him for the first time. He fought a glad little smile at that fact before he hesitantly plunged into the tale.

OOO

**Memarie**

I listened to Ed speak long into the night, trying to ignore how nice it was to hear him talk again.

When he had finally trailed off into silence I stared into the now burned down flames, merely glowing coals now.

"Wow." I say softly, unable to look at him.

So much had happened after I had gone; he had told me everything that had happened in that place, and about his time afterwards.

"What was it like?" I ask suddenly and he glances at me in surprise, confusion in his amber eyes. "Dying." I admit, oddly shy around him. He was a totally different person then I had believed him to be; he had changed more then I could have imagined.

_And for the better. _I realize.

"It was… odd." He admits after a minute. "I can't really explain it." He says finally and I nod, wondering to myself.

The fact that Edward had died and returned only to give his life again had sent me mentally reeling; I wondered what these years had been like for him emotionally. Had he suffered, like I had?

"What about you?" Ed asked, his voice unusually gruff, but when I glance at him his eyes are pained. "How have you been?"

"Fine." I reply, and even to myself I sound cold. "I've succeeded here. I'm a certified doctor now." I say and he blinks. "That's great." He nods.

_Why do you sound so pleased? I thought you didn't care about me anymore. _

"Well," I clear my throat after a few minutes of awkward silence. "I'm headed off to bed. I'll see you tomorrow Edward." I say softly and he raises his head, watching me as I walk away.

I pause just inside my bedroom door and close my eyes, trying to fight away the tears that were already beginning.

7


End file.
